Mission: Possible

it's a Christmas miracle

2011-12-27T11:01:00.003-06:00

Okay, so I'm doing something unheard of around here...reporting my weight on a TUESDAY!! {gasp}

I didn't post on Friday because there wasn't much to say - I maintained from the previous week at 142.4 pounds (or was it 142.6 - I can't remember now). Following that weigh-in was a day of Christmas at my Mom & Dad's followed by 2 days of Christmas at Les' parents' place.

So that's 3 - count 'em, THREE - days in a row of Christmas celebrations.

So on Monday morning I was terrified to step on the scale. Mondays are always bad anyway, no matter the time of year. But after a weekend of Christmas-ing? It was bound to be a bad number. I was expecting to see something around the 145 pound mark.

But the number that stared back at me was 141 pounds even.

!!!!!!

Uh...say what? I even stepped on it again in case I was hallucinating. But nope, the number was the same. And this morning it also showed that same number - 141 pounds.

Phew! While I have no idea how that happened, I sure am glad that it did. With a few days of eating out coming right up ahead this week while we go on a mini family holiday, this gives me a bit of extra padding. :)

it's about stinkin' time!!

2011-12-16T08:38:00.002-06:00

So, I'll get right to the point: I'M BACK IN MY 5 POUND WINDOW!! Phew, it feels so good to finally be able to say that.

This past week it was not about exercising or even purposefully making good eating choices. It was a week of stress, to be quite honest. But either way, I made it to where I wanted to be and it feels great!

Yesterday morning I actually weighed in at 141.6lbs which was a very delightful sight. And after weighing in at 143 before bed last night, I was confident that I would see a very similar morning weight again today. Strangely enough though, the scale hardly moved come morning time - but I was still in my window at 142.6 pounds.

With Christmas just around the corner, it feels great to be going into this holiday season at the same weight I was last year at this time - rather than hovering around 146 pounds like I had been for months now.

So wish me luck as I tackle the busy next couple of weeks with Christmas prep, Christmas participation - and another family trip down to Fargo...all combined with the Christmas laziness of not wanting (or having time) to work out!!

finally!!

2011-12-09T10:04:00.002-06:00

Wow. It's been over a month since my last post on this blog. And at that time I was reporting a weight of 146 pounds after some struggling.

Over the past 6 or so weeks, the struggles have continued - especially with all of the Christmas baking that is now in my freezer! I have been all over the map, bouncing back and forth, which is sorta why I haven't posted anything lately.

But in the last 2 weeks things finally seem to really be going my way. This morning I can proudly say that I am 143.6 pounds!! You know what that means, right? I am only 0.6 pounds away from FINALLY getting back into my five pound window. I don't even know how long it's been since I've been in my window...okay, looking back now through my posts it would appear that it's been since mid-June! That's half a year ago - yikes!!

So I will happily take this number this morning and keep working at it. Christmas might prove to be a bit of a road block, but I won't take it lying down!

i'm starting to lose it...

2011-11-04T15:14:00.002-05:00

Well...guess what? I am happy to report a loss this week!! It's been a l-o-n-g time since I've been able to say that! It wasn't much - but I went down from 146.8 to 146lbs.

And I'd consider that a pretty big victory, given the fact that on the weekend I ate out 3 times AND it was Halloween. But I only had 3 mini chocolate bars over the entire week - yup, just THREE!! I was pretty proud of myself.

So I'm happy that I continued to work hard this week with my daily work-outs even after the past couple of weeks haven't shown me movement on the scale. This week made up for it! Not because the loss was that big or anything (although I did go up to 148.8 by Monday so I did work off 2.8lbs in the past 4 days), but because I am actually feeling change. And that means more than the number on the scale anyway!

I feel stronger. I feel more toned. I feel more confident. And in turn that makes me feel more motivated.

just keep swimming...just keep swimming...

2011-10-28T10:00:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago I posted about some changes I was starting to make in order to make the scale move again - in the right direction.

And I have followed through with those changes very well. Pepsi has not been a daily indulgence anymore (more like 2 times during the week; not counting weekends - which I realize is still a lot, but it's an improvement at least!). Trips to the food court for fast food on my lunch breaks at work have also not happened even once since that last post - although I did grab a sub at Subway one day this week - NO PEPSI though.

AND...not only have I been doing video work-outs on Mon/Wed/Fri like I set out to do - I've actually been upping it to five days a week! Yup, that's right. I'm back to working out every weekday - even on days when I go to work - like I did last spring. I try to do cardio on Mon/Wed/Fri and then do Yoga or strength training (above and beyond what's already incorporated into my cardio videos) on the Tuesdays and Thursdays.

The only problem with all of this? I haven't seen any changes on the scale. Zilch. Nada. Zip. Nuthin'.

And it's driving me crazy!! I thought that for sure after 2 weeks of making so many changes, my body would drop a couple of pounds right away (and the rest I figured would be harder to lose). But it's not happening that way. I am still at my highest weight that I have been in probably a year and a half - which is almost 4 pounds HIGHER than the top of my 5 pound window...sigh.

But as frustrating as that is, I'm going to quote Dori (from "Finding Nemo")..."Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...just keep swimming..."

And hope that next week I'll at least see some minor improvements. 'Cause I'm just not comfortable sitting at 146.8 pounds.

i'm not clocking out

2011-10-07T11:44:00.003-05:00

Wow - a month has gone by since I've posted any updates on this blog. I suppose I shouldn't really be surprised since there has really been nothing to post about!

Still trying to get out of my unmotivated rut.

It's a bad time of year for me - emotionally - which makes it hard to feel motivated about ANYTHING...especially weight loss.

But I made some decisions in the last week or so and I'm hoping to stick to them. I am ready to get back to regular video work-outs again and both last week and this week I've done it twice per week. It's not a lot, I know. But better than nothing! My goal is to do a work-out Mondays/Wednesday/Fridays when I have full days at home. It's not a lot, but enough to help get myself feeling strong and toned again. I sure miss that feeling.

I also have a bad habit of going out for lunch on my work days - Tuesdays & Thursdays. I already have to pack both of the girls' lunches everyday, so I don't want to have to worry about a lunch for me yet either. So I often run to the mall food court on my lunch breaks and pick something up - usually it's Taco Time, but in the past few weeks I've indulged in things such as pizza, A&W and even New York Fries poutine.

Ouch!!

And of course all of those lunches come in meal packages - which include a drink. Can you say Pepsi overload??

So me and my co-worker (who has started coming with me most of the time) decided on Thursday - while we were chowing down on our greasy A&W burger & onion rings - that from now on IF we pick lunch up it needs to be Subway. I know if I have her to keep me accountable, it will be a lot easier to say no to the greasy food and yes to healthier sandwiches (or just to pack my own lunch from home altogether and save money too!).

With those two changes, I am really hoping to start seeing a difference. By the time Christmas rolls around, I want to be able to see and feel changes with my body. I want my 'love handles' to diminish again. I want my thighs to jiggle less. I want my arms to feel not as wobbly anymore.

I want to feel healthy and strong again. And I want my scale to look back at me in the mornings with an even 140lbs - instead of continuing to fluctuate between 144 and 145. Ick.

I have 2 1/2 months in which to real my goal(s). And I will succeed.

(ps: I have recently 'met' another wonderful gal - all the way in Australia - who is on her own weight loss journey. Check her out at Little by Little. She even did a post highlighting me and how I have inspired her. It's pretty cool! But just a note to the blog author...I can't find a comment section so I don't know how to get ahold of me. If you want to email me your email address to andrea.lifesong@gmail.com we can connect personally that way if you'd like!)

no pressure...um, yeah right!

2011-09-09T14:24:00.003-05:00

I was told today - by someone I just met for the 2nd time - that e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e in my town knows about me (and this here blog). You know, the "weight loss success story"...I have been dubbed (by some) the town 'hero.'

Yikes!!

As flattered as I am by that, it also comes with a lot of pressure. To know that people are looking to me for advice and opinions. That they are coming to me for inspiration in their own weight loss battles. They are coming to this blog to get reports and updates on how I am maintaining after my weight loss. Looking at me and thinking "If she can do it - so can I!"

{Gulp!}

And after the summer of ~~crazy~~ ~~busy~~ laziness that I just allowed myself - I need to sort of hang my head in shame. My weight may not have fluctuated that much all summer (after yo-yo-ing back up to 144.2 last week, I am back down to 143.2 again today...just barely above my 5 pound maintaining window), but my motivation? My dedication to the ongoing, life-long process of keeping myself healthy? It appears to have flown right out the window.

And what kind of example is that?!

I know I am not responsible for the health and weight of my town - everybody needs to make their own decisions to get where they want to be - but to know that I am looked upon by so many people makes me want to kick things back into high gear. Not to lose more weight (I'm happy with where I am...other than my mid-section of course!), but to continue to be the example that people are expecting from me. To keep working hard to ensure I stay at this weight and not start gaining pounds back little by little.

So thanks for the head's-up...I had no idea that this blog was so wide-spread here in my little town. I will continue to work hard to deserve the respect and admiration. But can you do me a favour in return? Could you comment on here from time to time - to remind me that you are actually all out there reading this? So often it feels like I am keeping this blog more for myself (which is fine), but I would be inspired more from all of you if you would let me know you've stopped by.

Deal?

...and closer...

2011-08-26T10:15:00.003-05:00

You know those weeks when you work your butt off and totally expect great results on the scale, only to be sorely disappointed?

I'm very familiar with those types of weeks. Thankfully this wasn't one of those weeks! It was the opposite actually. This was the week that included my favourite weekend of the summer - going to a cabin with my side of the family...eating my Mom's cooking all weekend long...and enjoying plenty of junk food along with it. Seriously, my worst eating days of the entire year (other than the Christmas season, of course!).

I followed it up with a week of having Pepsi every single day (oops!) and not doing a stitch of working out.

Yet somehow I managed to drop another 0.4 pounds. Oh, it's nothing to shout from the rooftops about or anything - but it's sure more exciting to report than a big gain, which is what I was expecting after how I behaved this week!

Still not quite back into my goal range of 138-143 pounds...but getting closer every week as I now sit at 143.2lbs. Three weeks in a row of small losses add up!

inching closer...

2011-08-19T10:55:00.002-05:00

I lost a little bit more weight this week than last week. Last week I dropped 0.2 pounds and this week I dropped another 0.4 pounds. Nothing major, of course...but at least it's going in the right direction.

And with the busyness of summer, I'm quite prepared that things won't really change much at all until we get back to the regular scheduling programming of the fall season. And I'm okay with that.

The last couple of weeks have brought me just shy of getting back into my 138-143 pound window, as I sit this morning at 143.6 pounds. I had two 2-mile runs this week and 2 Pepsi's and 2 evenings where I indulged in a small helping of Smartie ice cream. Not a perfect week, but not a bad week either.

This weekend always spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e though...it's our annual weekend at the cabin with my family (or part of my family, anyway) which means I get to eat my Mom's cooking all weekend long - including all of the snacks that come along with it! Hopefully the weather will co-operate enough to allow for some walking and a lot of swimming to help counter-balance it all.

And if not - I'm going to enjoy it anyway!

did i do it??

2011-08-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

I ended off last week's post by saying that my goal for today's weigh-in was to get back into my 138-143 pound window.

So did I reach that?

Well, no I didn't, to tell you the truth. But I'm okay with it because I worked really hard this week and made a lot of good choices. I started running again (after about a month hiatus...and even the month before that, things were pretty few & far between...and short!) so that kicked my butt! I went for 3 runs this week - one 2.5km one on Sunday evening, one 2km one on Monday morning (while the girls were at VBS) and one 5km one on Wednesday morning (again, while the girls were at VBS).

I have realized that I detest morning running when the sun is already high up in the sky. I much prefer evening running when the sun is lowering. I may not sweat quite as much (although I still sweat a lot no matter what temperature or time of day), but I certainly enjoy it more!

As for eating, I did pretty good...until Wednesday evening. I was having a bit of a pity-party for myself, and did some emotional eating of chips & salsa. Not an over-abundance of them, mind you, but enough since I shouldn't be eating in the evening at all. At least especially not just when I'm sitting at home by myself. If I was at a get-together or something, then it might be a somewhat legitimate excuse.

I did cheat and have Pepsi twice this week too. My bad. Once was on Tuesday for supper at my parents' place where a Mexican meal was being served...and everyone else was doing it! I had sort of figured last week already that I would allow myself ONE cheat-Pepsi on weekdays. But then I had another one yesterday at work. It was a big(ish) fountain drink from the food court that I got with my lunch...but I only drank 1/2 of it while I was eating. After that, instead of keeping it at my desk to sip at over the rest of the afternoon, I tossed it in the trash.

Yup, that's right. I. Threw. Away. Pepsi. It sort of hurts my heart just thinking about it...but I figured it was better to waste it in the garbage can than waste (and I use that term loosely) in my body. So I consider that a small victory within my failure.

So other than those few 'screw-ups', I felt really good about how I treated my body this week and I accept my small 0.2 pound loss. I am already feeling better just from the last 2 weeks of smartening-up. So I will aim to reach my goal this coming week instead!

confessions, clicking and changes

2011-08-05T10:30:00.004-05:00

Well, last week I posted about needing to get my groove back on and nip my slacking off in the bud. Truth? I was all talk.

I mean, I knew what I needed to do - but my heart just wasn't quite in it yet. Maybe I was hoping that by posting about it, it would force me to follow what I was saying. But I just couldn't get my attitude to jive with my words.

At first.

Now, of course heading into a weekend (a long weekend at that - and one being spent at the lake, no less!) it's no surprise that I didn't want to roll up my sleeves and get down to the nitty-gritty right away. And I knew that no matter what my attitude was - good or bad - the weekend would pass like a normal weekend...with indulgences and broken rules.

And it did.

I take it as no coincidence, however, that over the past couple of weeks I have been getting many comments from people again. Not just complimenting me on how I look - but commenting on how impressed they are that I've been keeping the weight off for so long. Little did they know how much I was struggling and that the pounds were slowly creeping back on. I guess it wasn't enough to really be noticeable to anyone other than myself, but these comments kept playing in my mind. They were sort of like warning bells to me. A reminder that if I didn't start paying close attention to what I was doing, people weren't going to be able to say those things about me anymore.

But when the weekend was wrapping up, I was still having an inner struggle with wanting to change things during the week. Even stepping on the scale Tuesday morning - and seeing an ugly, ugly number - didn't make me snap out of it.

But thankfully something just seemed to click during the day on Tuesday. I was at work and I was having a conversation with a co-worker (who is on her own personal weight-loss battle...and rockin' it!) and something changed inside of me. I finally got my motivation back; my real desire to start making some changes.

So that's what the rest of this week was like for me - making those changes. I went 72 74 hours without Pepsi (I had to turn a deaf ear to the girls' requests for slurpees on a hot & sunny afternoon AND have water with my taco salad!), I participated in no evening snacking (even while having a friend over for a movie night), and no afternoon snacking. I had one teeny tiny dessert while at my Mom's place - a small piece of one of my very favorite chocolate-chip squares - and I felt very good about all of my decisions.

Unfortunately, exercising didn't happen at all this week. We got back from our weekend away on Monday, late afternoon, and I got right into unpacking and laundry - and spending the rest of the evening with the hubby before he would leave for the rest of the week again. Then I worked all day on Tuesday, and on Wednesday I put my back out...doing who-knows-what!? So that put me out of commission for the rest of the week (and still is...). It's really too bad since I would've had the opportunity to go for a run both last night AND this morning, since my girls were away at a sleep-over.

But I am planning on running sometime this weekend yet when Les gets home (provided my back improves by tomorrow). And next week my girls are going to VBS (Vacation Bible School) every morning, which means that 3 of those mornings, when I'm not at work, I'll be able to go running too! So I'm getting excited about getting back out there, hitting the pavement again.

With my attitude check, and my good choices this week, I came out with a loss of just shy of a pound (despite my 'time of the month'), weighing in at 144.2 pounds this morning. I was happy with that, since it was really a 3 pound loss from Tuesday...phew!!

My goal for this next week is to get back to within my 138-143 pound window.

the ugly truth

2011-07-29T10:00:00.000-05:00

Well...in Wednesday's post I said I would be writing about some of the hard truths of my weight in the last several weeks. So here goes. Although really it's only one main truth:

I've been slacking off!

Yup, it's true. I've been taking it easy and falling back into old habits. I have been indulging in Pepsi - in regular or slurpee form - on an almost-daily basis again (probably 6 days a week...and sometimes on weekends I double-up too!). I have been participating in somewhat regular evening snacking. I have been sneaking in treats here and there...and there and here...and here and there. A cookie (or two) at lunch time. A scoop of Skor ice cream for dessert at supper. Delicious homemade-by-hubby strawberry milkshakes on the weekend...you get the picture.

And I have NOT been doing many work-out videos during the days to counteract this behaviour (maybe 3 times in the last month). Rather I have been enjoying the sunny weather this summer and I have been spending more time with my kids. I'm also busy with my longer work days (twice a week), spending time with friends and trying to keep up with house work and doing prep & clean-up for weekends away.

And I have barely been running. I don't like to always complain about it, but with my hubby's work schedule right now, it takes him away from home Mondays - Fridays. Which means I am 'stuck' at home with the kids 24/7 during the week. I did make some standing arrangements with my wonderful neighbour for Monday & Wednesday evenings that I would head out for a run around 7:30pm and she would be the official supervisor while my kids just played outside. But with my aforementioned busy schedule, it has just never worked out (Well, that and the insane heat wave we had not that long ago. There was just no way I was running in weather that, with the humidex was 47C {116.6F}).

I suppose I could go out here and there on weekends if I really wanted to. But with weekends away, and lots of family activities and other things to fit in while we're actually all together for such limited time...well, it just doesn't happen very often.

So the ugly truth? I've been slacking....and I've been enjoying it {gasp!}.

However, the other part of the ugly truth? I've been gaining.

Not a lot, mind you. But enough that it gets me worried. If you remember, my five pound window used to be 138-143 pounds. And back at the end of April I reached the unfathomable number of 145 pounds. And I freaked out! So I busted my butt and did my 6 Week 6 Pack challenge...and at the end of all of that, I was happy to have gotten back to 141.2 pounds.

But it was only a couple of weeks later that I was back up to hovering between 144 and 145 pounds. And now? I'm ashamed to say that on some mornings (not on an official Friday weigh-in day though), I even got as high as 146.6 pounds - although this morning I was back down to 145lbs.

The biggest problem with that was that I didn't freak out about it this time. And that is what worried me the most. Because with that outlook, it won't be long before I'm flirting with 150 pounds again...and then it has the potential to all go downhill. And I refuse to be one of those weight loss statistics who puts in all the work to lose the weight but then can't keep it off long-term.

So as much as I have been enjoying the break from all of the hard work it takes to maintain...I know what I have to do. I have to get back on the horse. I have to go guns a-blazing, as my friend said about herself this week. It may only be 5 pounds that I want to lose, but it's not going to happen carrying on the way I am. Like I said in my last post, the word "life" is in the word "lifestyle change" for a reason. {sigh}

Pepsi needs to be limited much more strictly, evening snacking needs to be a no-go, treats need to be exactly that - treats (not regular indulgences) and exercising needs to once again become a priority (however and whenever I can squeeze it in).

I may not like it. It even sort of makes me want to 'pack a tanty' (which is Aussie-speak for temper tantrum - a phrase I just learned it this week and am lovin' it).

But the ugly truth? It needs to happen. Before it's too late!

ask andi: part III

2011-07-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

Finally - the final installment of "Ask Andi" is here!

Do you feel thin? Or are you mentally feeling you are still carrying the weight yet the mirror says other wise?

Do I feel thin...that's a good question. Those of you who have gone from being officially obese to maintaining a healthy weight will probably relate to the fact that a lot of the time I would say "no" to that question.

It's hard when your mind plays tricks on you. In my head I know that I am at a healthy weight and I know that I am wearing small sizes of clothes. But sometimes the mind doesn't properly compute that. I don't know how to explain it. But there are still some days when I look in the mirror and see the massively over-weight girl that I was 2 years ago. I think that's one reason why I do my From-The-Inside-Out-Friday posts - so I can visually see in picture form what I look like. Some people might look at those posts and think I'm trying to brag or show off - both my clothes and my body. But it's really for my own mental benefit. To convince myself that I really am slim now.

But mentally I think it will always be a battle. And I wish I knew how to describe it so people could understand. But unless you've been there, I don't think you can really grasp what I'm trying to say. Like I've blogged about before though, there are even some days when I wish I was 200+ pounds again. Not because I really want to actually look that way again, but because it feels comfortable somehow. Familiar.

I could write a whole book on this topic and probably still not really get across what I wish I could convey to you all about this...

What would you tell girl in the picture in the left now looking back?

The picture this question is referring to is from the original 'ask andi' post that I did in mid-June. So what would I tell her?

This is a really good question. I'm not sure what I would say. I want to be able to say that I would tell her that she is beautiful no matter what. And while that's certainly always what Les thought of 'her', I can't in all honesty say I'm at that point where I could say that about that girl in the picture.

But I would tell her to give it her best. Tell her that every decision, every day, will be worth the outcome. To not give up. But I would also tell her that being thin isn't everything. Being healthy should be the top priority; losing weight is just a bonus. I would tell her to not get too obsessed about everything; to not let the scale completely rule her life. Success is measured in many more ways than just the 3 digit number staring you in the face every morning.

That's what I would tell her. Would she listen though? Hard to say....

What is your maintenance look like now?

To me, this question could mean 2 different things. Since the 'after' picture I posted in the earlier ask andi post was from last summer, it could mean what does your 'after' picture look like today?

Or it could mean what does your maintenance routine look like now; what do you do to maintain now that you have lost the weight?

So I will answer both questions just to make sure I'm covering all the bases. :)

This is what my maintenance looks like physically right now. This is the most recent picture of myself (full body) taken just last week.

As for my maintenance routine? Well...if I'm being completely honest (which is something I am determined to do on this blog, regardless of how hard it is!), I'm not really officially in the maintenance phase right now.

Up until spring I was staying in my 138-143lb window...but in the last few months I have been putting on a few pounds. I did lose those few pounds back in June when I completed my 6 Week 6 Pack challenge, bringing me back down to my official loss of 70 pounds, sitting at 141.2 pounds. But in Friday's upcoming post, I will reveal more hard truths about the past several weeks.

However - while I was maintaining my weight, this is how I did it: By working just as hard as I did while trying to lose the weight to begin with. It really is true what they say - that maintaining is harder than losing. It's a hard (and disappointing!) truth. Once you've reached your goal, you want to just be able to sit back and enjoy it and take a break from the hard work you did to get you there.

But you can't. It's that simple. The lifestyle changes I made to get me here are exactly that - lifestyle changes. The word 'life' is in there for a reason. It's long-term commitment, baby. Sad? Perhaps. But true. Very, very true.

Thanks for the questions. I think it was a good time for me to get some of these questions and get me thinking again more in-depth about my journey. I still have some mental hurdles to overcome - or at least work on, since they might never be fully overcome - and some goals to set for myself. Those of you who have been on a similar journey as me, I encourage you to take time every once in awhile to go back and remember the before, the during, and the after. Don't just forget about what you did and what you felt to get yourself to the end point.

ask andi: part II

2011-07-22T07:00:00.000-05:00

What got you started on this journey?
What got me started on this journey was when I realized that I weighed more than I did when I was 9 months pregnant with either pregnancy. (!!!) The highest pregnancy weight I reached was 206 pounds (which was hard enough to get used to being in the 200's, regardless of being pregnant). But to be 5 pounds heavier than that NOT being pregnant? That was a tough pill to swallow. I had hit 200 pounds a year or so prior to this point too, but I guess it was actually going above and beyond my pregnancy weight that really lit the spark under me. Enough was enough! I figured if I kept up the way I was, soon I would be one of those 400+ pound people that couldn't even get out of bed in the morning! Something needed to be done.

What was your motivation?
A few things motivated me over my journey. First of all, being accountable to others was a huge help! Starting up that local Biggest Loser competition was the best thing I could've ever done for myself. I can be pretty stubborn & competitive when I want to be. And this came out full force throughout this competition. I was NOT going to be the one to let my team down. And I WAS going to at least be my team's Biggest Loser (which I accomplished), if not overall (and I came close to the overall Biggest Loser too!). Had I decided to do this on my own, I doubt the results would've been as successful.

My family was also a big motivating factor for me. While Les NEVER made me feel unattractive even at my heaviest weight (love him for that!), he did tell me several times that he wanted me to get healthy. He didn't care about the way I looked, but he cared about my health. He would remind me that him and the girls needed me around for a long, long time! So that helped motivate me. Not only because I wanted to be healthy to stick around until I'm old and gray, but because I also wanted to set a good example for my girls. It would be heart-breaking to see them turn into over-weight teenagers and adults as a result of my poor example.

What was the hardest part for you on this journey?
I'm not sure that there was one specific hard part, other than just going through with it day after day after day...after day. I'm telling you, there wasn't a day that I didn't want to just give up. Especially at the beginning when I had SO far to go. It seemed insurmountable. But I tried to tell myself to just take things one step at a time. Not even one day at a time - but one decision at a time.

The formula was simple: Eat less. Exercise more. But deciding to follow through with it each and every day was a constant battle. And I wasn't perfect; I definitely made mistakes from time to time. But when all was said and done, when it was weigh-in day every Friday, I knew that I was proud of myself and I had done my best.

It was even tempting to give up as I got closer to my goal. I would try to tell myself, "You've done good enough. Nobody would blame you if you just decided to stop here. Afterall, 50 pounds is a huge accomplishment." But I made myself push through those times, since I knew my body could do more. I wasn't finished.

But I am finished this segment of 'ask andi' - and there are a couple of more questions left which will be continued...hopefully next week!

i'm still here...

2011-07-09T10:51:00.002-05:00

I know I haven't posted for the past 2 Fridays - but I haven't forgotten about this blog or the remaining "ask andi" questions that have thus far stayed unanswered.

More is coming...

I've just been spending less time on the computer lately (and struggling with a lot of personal things right now which is consuming a lot of my time, energy and thoughts). And the questions I am waiting to answer are ones that require a bit more in-depth thinking and not just off-the-cuff responses.

So if you can hang in there with me a bit, I promise I will respond to your questions.

But in the meantime, just as a quick update on myself and my weight loss/maintenance journey - things are so-so. Exercising has decreased substantially, unfortunately. This time of year I'm more than ready to stop with my videos that I've done all winter long and pick up running again. However, with hubby gone Mon-Fri now again - and me without a treadmill - running happens far too infrequently.

Eating, however, has been pretty decent which is what's helping me keep the numbers under control (although Pepsi intake is not surprisingly higher than what it should be). I have discovered though that I am just really tired of having to keep such a close eye on things. I want to relax a bit and just enjoy life (in fact, get this - yesterday I weighed myself in the morning and then not again until....the next morning!!). However, that needs a balance so that things don't get carried away, as can happen all too quickly.

So for now I try to keep things as balanced as I can, while trying to enjoy special occasions with my family to the fullest at the same time. It's a tricky business, but I'm getting the hang of it...

Till next week (hopefully)....peace out.

ask andi: part I

2011-06-24T08:18:00.003-05:00

Thanks for the questions that were submitted on my ask andi post two weeks ago. I'm going to break them up into sections to keep it from getting to be too long of a post! I'm going to start with the questions that are a bit more about what I did, and I'll save the ones that are more about the emotional side of things for next week.

1) I've always been curious what your workout routine consists of and how often you workout on a daily/weekly basis?

When I first started my weight loss journey (back in June 2009), I kicked it off with starting to run. Of course most of you know that I followed the Couch to 5K running program which I did very faithfully over that summer. I would run (or walk/run) a minumin of 3 times a week for about 30 minutes each time. From early July - late August this was the only form of exercise that I did.

When the program ended, I would still run occasionally but later into fall/early winter I backed off from running altogether (since I didn't have a treadmill, and I'm not interested in running outside in freezing temperatures) and had to rely solely on my work-out videos.

Throughout that first winter I would do either a Jillian Michaels' video or a Turbo Jam video - anywhere from 20-50 minutes - about 2-3 times a week.

When spring started again (2010) I picked up my running again and took a break from the videos. It was a bit of a slower start - and since I was finished my involvement in my Biggest Loser competition, it was hard to get re-motivated. But then I started training for the 10K run in my town which finally got me back into it. However, with my husband's work schedule over that summer (gone Mondays-Fridays), it was hard to squeeze in runs during the week. I did manage to get a few in, but it wasn't as consistent as I would've liked. So including weekends, I probably ran 1-2 times a week. I also would do a work-out video (again, ranging from 20-50 minutes) twice a week.

Over the 2010/2011 winter season, I slacked off majorly though. Once running fell off my radar again when the cold weather struck, my motivation fell off the radar too! I probably took about 3 months off from hardly exercising at all until I made a change early February. I went back to videos 2-3 times a week and finally started upping that to 4-5 days a week in March. And once April and May came around, I also started adding in the occasional run on top of that.

I did start to find that doing a video 4-5 times a week PLUS running 1-3 times a week was getting to be a bit much. So now I am down to 3-4 times a week with videos and running 1-2 times a week (as time allows, given my husband's insane work schedule yet again...).

A bit of a lengthy response, but it always varied through the seasons...

2) I'm curious, did you count calories? Did you watch carb intake? Monitoring of food or did you just increase your exercise?

I never counted a single calorie, or a Weight Watcher's point or limit my carbs in any way. This isn't to say I never looked at the calories on the packaging of any sort of food, although even that was rare. I would sometimes look at something to see it's calorie count to see if it was worth it or not. But I never added any calories up or anything. In fact, I don't even have the slightest clue what my daily calorie intake even should be!!

Nothing was off-limits for me (except for Nutella!) over the course of my weight loss - I just used moderation. I ate exactly the same foods as I always did, but was pretty strict about it. Pepsi really was just for weekends (with extremely rare exceptions - unlike how it is these days!). Evening snacking was a big NO-NO (unless my stomach was truly growling...no sense going to bed like that, so I would allow myself literally 4 crackers or something equally as small just to 'take the edge off'). Meal portions were incredibly controlled, and no second helpings allowed. Desserts were only for special occasions - and only if they rated a 9/10 or 10/10 on my "how much do I love it" scale. And even then, only a small helping.

The way I did things food-related was really the best option for me. I never felt like I was depriving myself of anything, as long as I kept things under control. With Nutella, the control was just not an option (not like it is now), so I had to completely stay away from that. I knew that if I let myself get out of control with something else that I loved, I would have to completely strike it from my repertoire too, and I didn't want to have to do that.

So I still ate pizza, drank Pepsi and enjoyed all of my other favorite foods. Just in moderation.

And yes, as for the exercising, I did increase it from what I was doing before I officially started on this journey. Previous to starting, I would go in spurts with my working out. A couple of times a week here, and then nothing for a long time, and then a bit more over there. Nothing was consistent and I certainly wasn't doing as difficult videos as the Jillian Michaels' ones I do now!

3) How many times a day do you weigh yourself now? ;)

As most of you may remember, I gave up my scale for Lent this year - allowing the Sunday weigh-ins part way through. When that was over, I wanted to keep my weight checks down. Not to once a week, but maybe to once a day.

It worked for a few days, but then I felt like I wanted the control back. I starting upping it to twice a day...then three times a day...and now I'm back to my 4-6 times a day just like before.

I'm not proud of that. But since I've been in a bit of a rut lately with my weight (ahem..which means I have NOT been in my 138-143 pound window much in the last couple of months), I feel like I have no choice if I want to keep myself from creeping up even higher!

I do hope to get back to a point one day where I can decrease the number of times I step on that scale though...one day!

recovery time

2011-06-17T09:01:00.003-05:00

(I was going to post the Q&A today in response to my first 'Ask Andi' post...but the questions that I got asked will actually need more thought and time to properly write out the answers. So look for the answers to come here and there over the next few weeks. And it's not too late to ask a question too if you have one! Thanks to those who have participated!)

This week was my recovery week. Recovering from what? you might ask. Well, recovering from my 6-Week 6-Pack challenge that I just finished last Friday of course. It's an unfortunate pattern that I have been noticing in myself: I give myself a challenge, work really hard at it and get some good results. When the challenge is officially ~ and f-i-n-a-l-l-y ~ over, I sort of collapse from what it all took out of me and I unconsciously (or sometimes consciously) give myself a 'week off.' You know...to recover.

The thing is, now I need to recover from my recovery! Vicious cycle, I know.

But after a week of hardly any exercise (in my defense, it was a really busy week which didn't really allow for a lot and with a hubby gone all week long, evening runs were not even an option), more eating than normal (again, in my defense, it was a week of uncommon get-togethers -- including our town's annual fair, a wedding, a family gathering, and some out-of-country guests), more evening snacking than I've done in a long time (ahem...yes I have a defense for this too -- sort of. I was getting used to the long, lonely evenings of being hubby-less all week. Emotional eating kind of reared its ugly head)....and not to mention that 'special' time-of-month...it was not an ideal week for maintaining the loss I had incurred over the past 6 weeks.

But I know that I will get back on the wagon. And soon. As in N-O-W! Because while I don't really miss the actual act of working out and while I did enjoy more freedom with my eating...I do already miss feeling more toned and I do miss the way it feels to have conquered an awesome work-out.

So, Recovery Week Phase I is thankfully behind me and I have Phase II of recovery still ahead of me....

ask andi

2011-06-13T20:55:00.004-05:00

This coming Sunday marks my 2 year anniversary since I strapped on my official Weight Loss helmet and embarked on the ride of my life! It was a ride I will never forget ~ and quite honestly, a ride I never really thought I would take.

But I did.

And words seriously can not express the feelings that I went through ~ and still go through ~ when I look back at my journey. I won't get into all of that now, though. That's for another day.

Now is a post to celebrate that it's been 2 years since I started...and I will spend the rest of my life completing the journey, as it is something that I need to consistently work at every single day. But I think I have done really well, since I have pretty much been at my goal weight (give or take 5 pounds) for almost an entire year already! That goes to show that no matter how hard maintaining is, I have found out how to do it if I have already lasted a year.

This Before picture was taken June 2009 at my heaviest weight of 211 pounds. And the After picture was taken July 2010 at 147 pounds (which is 5 pounds heavier than what I am currently sitting at).

Anyway, the point of this post in celebration of the 2 year mark is to put out the first 'ask andi' segment on this blog. It might be the first and last one depending on how it goes, but I wanted to throw it out there and see what happened. I get asked (in person and via email) A LOT of questions about my journey. Specific questions that I might not have answered in my personal how-to post that I have previously written. A lot of times the questions asked are similar, so I repeat myself a lot. Which is fine, but I figured I could maybe kill a few birds with one stone this way.

So ~ if you have a question about what I did to lose my 70 pounds, or anything regarding weight loss, feel free to ask it here! I don't pretend to be an expert, but I can tell you what worked for me personally. Either comment on this post or send me an email if you want it to be anonymous to andi.andi@live.ca . The plan is to post the Q&A's on my regular Friday post, since that will technically be 2 years of Fridays since I began the journey!

6-week 6-pack: conclusion

2011-06-13T08:00:00.000-05:00

Some of you may be very curious as to my weigh-in results from the past 6 weeks. So without further ado, here's the info on how it all went down over the past six weeks.

Week #1: I killed it this week by sticking very firmly to all of my rules (with very few exceptions) and it showed on the scale. My weight when I started this challenge was 145 pounds -- a full 2 pounds over the highest end of my 5 pound window (eek!!) but by the end of the first week, I was down to 142.4 lbs! It was a lot of hard work, but man did it feel good when I saw that number on Friday morning!

Week #2: This was a bit of a tougher week as some out-of-the-ordinary things were tossed my way (in the form of Mother's Day and a movie night with a girlfriend) that aren't usually on the schedule. Exceptions were made this week (probably more than what was really necessary) and I ended the week off with a small gain, bringing my weight back up to an even 143 pounds -- but still within my 5 pound window. Phew!

Week #3: After a weekend away visiting family -- which consisted of a lot of eating and very minimal movement to counteract it all -- I was terribly nervous about what my Monday morning weight would be. But much to my surprise, it only was up 1.4 pounds from Friday. This happens on a regular weekend (and then some), nevermind a weekend with 2 trips to McDonald's and lots of afternoon and evening snacking (and desserts!) thrown into the mix. I was very fortunate. I didn't take that for granted though...I kicked off the week with good strong work-outs and back-to-back evening runs. Afterall, I had to do what I could to fight off the "time of the month" that hit as soon as we returned home. But, much to my disappointment, the 144.4 pound weight that I started off with on Monday didn't decrease as I was expecting...rather it increased slightly to 144.6.

Week #4: This was a challenging week for me, mentally. With all of the working out I have been doing these last several weeks (way more than what I ever have been doing throughout the rest of my weight loss journey) and doing fairly decently with my food choices on top of it all, to only be down 0.4 pounds half-way through this challenge was very disheartening to me - especially after the killer start I had. I started to tell myself that what mattered most was that I was giving it my all and that the number on the scale didn't necessarily reflect the work I was putting in. Surely I'm gaining muscle and not fat with how much I've been working out and running. I'm certainly feeling stronger than ever. But with that sense of confidence comes the concern that I'm going to start letting things slide. It's a slippery slope, afterall. But after a week of more Pepsi indulgences than I should've allowed myself, not to mention too much evening sancking -- and my week of the least working out in all 4 weeks so far -- I lost 1.6 pounds, bringing me back down to within my window at 142.8 pounds.

Week #5: This was a bit of a hot & cold week for me as far as following my rules. A couple of days were near perfect, and there was one particular day (my evening outing with my Mom & sisters) that was a total write-off. I started off with a pretty decent weight after the weekend, so I was sure that I would have a loss at the end of the week. But with that one BAD day on the Wednesday, it sort of ruined all chances of that possibility. I gained a small 0.2 pounds to bring me back to 143 pounds. I didn't let myself get disappointed about that though. I need to be able to have special outings like that and let myself enjoy it. Still in moderation though, of course. And I think I did that. I had a chicken ceasar salad & water for supper at the restaurant, and a fairly limited amount of popcorn & Pepsi at the movie theatre, and only 1/2 of my already mini-sized blizzard. But with that all added up -- and being gone from morning to night to not be able to fit a work-out in to counteract all of the eating -- it didn't help my weight. But I can't go through life not being able to enjoy these special outings. And yes, for the most part, special outings include food.

Week #6: With my goal of being in the 130's at the end of this week still 3.2 pounds away, I did not start the week very hopeful. That being said, I wasn't discouraged about it either. I had decided probably half-way through this challenge already that the end weight result wasn't going to be the most important thing. Sure, I still wanted to strive to achieve it, but it wasn't going to be the end of the world if it didn't happen. I was not going to let the scale be the reflection of how hard I have worked over this last month and a half. The important thing was to stick to my challenge as best as I could. I was not going to give up on completing the challenge, even if it didn't give me the numbers I had originally set out to achieve. So by Tuesday morning -- when I am usually still fighting off the weekend's gain, but was instead already showing a 1.6 pound LOSS -- needless to say, I was re-inspired that reaching my goal weight was actually a possibility. But something happened between Tuesday morning and Tuesday evening (still not sure what exactly it was), and by the next morning I was back UP to 143.8 pounds. This meant that I had Wednesday and Thursday left for me to lost a total of 4 pounds to get me to 139.8 pounds. I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E. At first, when I realized that reaching my goal really was completely out of reach, I wanted to just relax then for the last couple of days. But I didn't take on that attitude for very long and I figured that just because I wouldn't finish the challenge reaching my target weight (as I had figured already half-way through the challenge), I still wanted to finish it strong and know that no matter what, I didn't give up. So I pushed myself and was determined to be happy with my effort if nothing else.

So my final weigh-in result at the very end of the 6 week challenge was...............................

141.2 pounds!!

Yes, I was still 1.4 pounds short -- but this 141.2 pound number actually means just as much to me as a 139.8 pound number would have. And that's because I finally got back to my 70 pound loss again. For quite some time, I have been hovering between 142-145 pounds which means that I could no longer say that I had lost an even 70 pounds. But now I can again!!

So where do I go from here? Well, that's an entirely different post for another day....

6-week 6-pack: week 6 (a.k.a. "The Finale")

2011-06-10T12:00:00.000-05:00

We are getting down to the wire now. This is the final week of this 6 week challenge that I set up for myself. It's been six l-o-n-g weeks of hard work and dedication. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy that it was all over!!

Here's the run-down on this finale week:

Friday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) Evening snacking permitted ~ but I didn't!
3) Pepsi permitted ~ of course!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ ...I had a teeny-tiny Nutella-relapse. But honestly, it was very teeny-tiny.

Workout of the day: Day 6 of Level 2 of 6-Week 6-Pack...only 3 more days of this left. I think I can...I think I can...I think I can....!!

Saturday & Sunday:
Typical weekend, as always. Although I actually didn't do any evening snacking on the Saturday...but that's probably because I was at a potluck supper which the eating only began shortly after 7pm. I did zero exercising over the weekend, which isn't totally surprising although I do like getting out for at least one run over the weekend. But with Les away on a fishing trip, it just wasn't a possibility this time.

Monday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ ummm...don't ask!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Workout of the day: Day 7 of Level 2 of 6-Week 6-Pack AND a 5km run in the evening. No records broken this time (not even close!)...although it was almost a record for WORST run of the year! But with not having run in almost 2 weeks (!!!), and the weather being hotter than I'm used to and having a painful stitch in my side for the duration of the run, I'm just happy that I finished it!

Tuesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ I had Pepsi at supper
4) No desserts ~ I had chocolate-chip cookies for lunch at my cousin's house
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Workout of the day: Level 2 of Jillian Michaels' Yoga Meltdown (ouch!!)

Wednesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ I had Pepsi at lunch
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ My cousin was over for the afternoon, and we did indulge in a cookie each and some Ketchup chips (which are a rare -- and very expensive -- treat down in Mexico where she's from)

Workout of the day: Day 8 of Level 2 of 6-Week 6-Pack AND a 2'ish km bike ride (combined) to and from Joelle's soccer AND a 5km run in the evening.

Thursday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ I had 1/3 of a Pepsi at supper with our tacos
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Workout of the day: Day 9 -- the FINAL day -- of Level 2 of 6-Week 6-Pack AND a 2'ish km bike ride (combined) to and from Malia's soccer

I can not even begin to tell you how happy I am that I am finished with this challenge. The work-outs were TOUGH and I am incredibly proud of myself for doing them without fail.

It is clear by my documentation of my 5 rules that Pepsi is still by far my weak point in the whole weight loss battle. I did often indulge during the week, but in my defense it was often 1/2 or even 1/3 of a can, as I would share with the girls. But there were also too many FULL cans being enjoyed. It's definitely going to continue to be a struggle for me.

As for whether or not I reached my weight loss goal over the past 6 weeks by getting back into the 130's...I will do a re-cap post on Monday with all of my weekly results from the past 6 Fridays. Stay tuned....

6-week 6-pack: week 5

2011-06-03T10:00:00.001-05:00

Well, this week didn't allow me for ANY runs. With my busy schedule and the weather, it was not a good combination to get me out there. Unfortunately.

But I did have some good days where I was paying close attention to the rules...and one really BAD day. But I'll let you read about it below if you are so interested.

Friday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) Evening snacking permitted ~ check!
3) Pepsi permitted ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Day 3 of Level 2 of 6-Week 6-Pack

Saturday/Sunday:
I feel like I did fairly well this weekend, actually, in terms of eating (and Pepsi intake). I will often have Pepsi twice a day every day on the weekend, but this time I only had 1/2 a can on Saturday and 1/2 a can on Sunday. Yay me!! I did zero exercising this weekend though, and usually I try to get in at least one run. Oh well..there's always next time! I also did my usual weekend evening snacking.

Monday: (This was about as close to perfect of a 'good choices' day as possible!)
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check! 2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Workout of the day: Day 4 of Level 2 of 6-Week 6-Pack

Tuesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check! 2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ Fresh chocolate-chip cookies baked by my Mom were eaten today. Four of them in total - one in the morning, two at lunch and one at supper!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Workout of the day: Day 5 of Level 2 of 6-Week 6-Pack (I did back-to-back days of this work-out this week because I'll be gone tomorrow from morning till night and won't have a chance to get a work-out in at all)

Wednesday: (Today was a rough day in the healthy department since me and my sisters took my Mom out for a belated Mother's Day gift. Dinner out, a movie and out for ice cream. 'Nuff said.)
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ I was out of the house from 8:30am to 11:00pm today...so sadly no work-out was done today to counteract the poor eating!
2) No evening snacking ~ I had a few handfuls of popcorn & some pepsi at the movie theatre AND 1/2 of a mini blizzard at Dairy Queen. Yikes!!
3) No Pepsi ~ Not only did I have some Pepsi at the movie theatre...but I also had Pepsi for lunch at work. Sheesh...what a bad day!
4) No desserts ~ Well, the blizzard at DQ of course...
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ Ah...finally a check!

Workout of the day: Nothin'.

Thursday: (I seem to have made up for yesterday's write-off with today's choices, thankfully!)
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ I had about 5 crackers
3) No Pepsi ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Workout of the day: 1/2 of Jillian Michaels' "No More Trouble Zones" (approx 30 minutes)

I have one week left in this 6-Week 6-Pack challenge, and I gotta say I'm ready for it to be done. I'm ready to go back to just doing whatever kinds of videos I want to do during the week. Although on the other hand, it has been nice to steadily work at one video and see strong progression over the weeks.

6-week 6-pack: week 4

2011-05-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

After a week like I had with more Pepsi indulgences than I'd like to admit (but I will admit each and every one...) and less exercising than the past many weeks (still did my video work-out every day, but very minimal running), I was unsure of what my Friday morning weigh-in outcome would be.

Here are the weekly details of how my week went -- including a HUGE milestone that I accomplished on Tuesday!

Friday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) Evening snacking permitted ~ but I didn't!!
3) Pepsi permitted ~ I shared a can with Malia at lunch and then had my own can at supper
4) No desserts ~ I had a piece of ice cream cake at my parents' place
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Day 9 of Level 1 of 6-Week 6-Pack...THE FINAL DAY!! Moving on to Level 2 on Monday!! AND approximately 3 miles of biking around town running errands, going to playdates, etc.

Saturday & Sunday: Typical stuff happening over the weekend again here. Pepsi, pizza, evening snacking and a break from exercising. It rained all day on Saturday which translated into no running. Sunday I could've gone for a run but was too lazy.

Work-out of the weekend: A 2 mile bike ride with the family

Monday: (Since today was a holiday, I sort of seemed to mix my weekday and weekend rules together)
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ I had some ice cream with homemade chocolate sauce
3) No Pepsi ~ I nursed a can of Pepsi from afternoon through till evening
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ I had a few spoonfulls of Nutella. But in my defense -- this jar has been in my house for two full weeks and so far all I've used it for is on toast. This was the first time I consumed some just for the sake of eating it.

Work-out of the day: Day 1 of Level 2 of 6-Week 6-Pack. The sweat pouring out of me was incredible! I can hardly imagine having to do this 8 more times over these next 3 weeks. EEK!!

Tuesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ I had some ice cream with homemade chocolate sauce
3) No Pepsi ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Level 1 of Jillian Michaels' Yoga Meltdown AND a 3 mile run in the evening. It's worth mentioning that I beat my ALL-TIME fastest record in this run -- 3 miles in just under 30 minutes...29:51 to be exact!

Wednesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ I had 1/2 a Pepsi at lunch and 1/2 a Pepsi at supper
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ I had a few crackers with a bit of cheese

Work-out of the day: Day 2 of Level 2 of 6-Week 6-Pack

Thursday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ I had some fruit salsa & cinnamon chips at a friend's party
3) No Pepsi ~ I'm embarrassed to admit that I had a FULL can of Pepsi for lunch *and* a FULL can for supper too! EEK!!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: I took it easy today with a 20 minute Turbo Jam ab video. Still a good core work-out, but next to no sweat which goes to show it's a lot easier than any Jillian Michaels' video (which I've done in some sort of capacity for 5 days a week over the last 10 weeks by now).

I am now 4 weeks into my 6 week challenge...only 2 left! The end is in sight!!

6-week 6-pack: week 3

2011-05-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

This week I have really been noticing my strength improving in my work-outs. Well, I've been noticing it steadily increasing for weeks already but I've been patting myself on the back for it a lot this week in particular.

Last week I actually did something for the first time that I have never been able to do up until now. In Jillian Michaels' "Banish Fat Boost Metabolism" cardio video, closer to the end of the video is an exercise called scissor kicks. You start with your feet wide apart, go into a squat and then jump up, scissor-kicking your feet at the height of the jump and returning to the floor in the squat position. Over and over again. I have always had to alter this particular move to a regular jump squat until last week. I could do the scissor kicks each and every time! That feeling of victory was so sweet.

Also, in the 6-Week 6-Pack video I am currently working through 3 days a week, I can notice improvement as well. Specifically in the side plank with a lower leg lift. The first few times doing this were really rough; and now I can complete each set of these with noticeable improved strength. It's really exciting to see changes in what my body can do.

Now onto the details for those of you who are curious as to how well I did with sticking to my rules. I'll give you a head's up...it wasn't the greatest week in the form of eating, but my working out was pretty incredible!

Friday:
Well, today was pretty much a write-off. We left late morning for a 6 hour drive to visit family for the weekend, and I kicked off my morning with a piece of carrot cake. Not to mention stopping for lunch an hour and a half into our drive at McDonald's with a full meal (yes, with Pepsi of course) and including an apple pie. Oh, and have I mentioned that when I am in the vehicle for long trips, it's a complete necessity that I consistently snack? Not to mention the 2nd Pepsi I had in the evening to accompany my snack of chips & salsa...and perhaps even a Monster Cookie made its way into my mouth. Uh, yeah. So like I was saying, today was pretty much a write-off.

Work-out of the day: Nothing. Other than the work-out my arm got from loading chips, crackers, cookies, etc. into my mouth. :)

Saturday/Sunday: Another 2 days of 'Weekend Write-Off' as the weekend was spent eating, drinking pop and doing a lot of sitting around and visiting. That translates into a lot of calories being consumed, and very minimal being burned off. Sunday afternoon also included the drive home...which as I'm sure you remember means more snacking. Not to mention that we had to eat at McD's again on the way home. The plan was to eat at Subway, but when we got to the town where we were going to eat, we discovered that the Subway had closed down and we were only left with fast-food options. Oh, and a Dairy Queen blizzard just to keep things interesting!

Work-out of the weekend: A 2-mile light/moderate walk on Saturday

Monday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ I cheated on this today. I got my Subway intake today on my lunch break at work, but of course I made it a meal and had a fountain drink with it. I didn't finish it, but I definitely had more than what I should've.
4) No desserts ~ Not sure if this falls under the dessert category or the evening snacking category...but either way, I had 3 Hershey Kisses and 1 small chocolate easter egg shortly after supper.
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Day 7 of Level 1 of 6-Week 6-Pack AND a 5km run in the evening. No personal records broken this time, but I felt strong and had a good run.

Tuesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ I shared a can of Pepsi with both of the girls at supper time (which means I had a teensy-tiny 1/3rd of a can). Enough to get the necessary taste to go with the pizza buns I had made, without downing an entire can!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ I had a few...okay, several...bites of my chocolate easter bunny. Darn those Easter treats!!

Work-out of the day: 1/2 of Jillian Michaels' No More Trouble Zones video (approx. 25 minutes) AND a 5km run in the evening.

Wednesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ I had a small helping of crackers & cheese at 8:00pm
3) No Pepsi ~ I failed on this one again today. My Mom and I took the girls out for lunch on their lunchbreak at school. To a pizza joint. 'Nuff said.
4) No desserts ~ I also indulged in an ice cream cone after the pizza lunch. My bad.
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Day 8 of Level 1 of 6-Week 6-Pack AND a 2(ish) km bike ride (combined) to and from Joelle's soccer AND a 5km run in the evening. That's three 5km runs in a row, in case you weren't keeping track!

Thursday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ I had 3 bites of my chocolate easter bunny and 2 bites of Les' ice cream and chocolate sauce
3) No Pepsi ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ see #2 above...not sure which category it fits into, but I'm sure I don't have to count it TWICE...do I??
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Level 1 of Jillian Michaels' Yoga Meltdown AND a 2(ish) km bike ride (combined) to and from Malia's soccer.

I was pleasantly surprised by my pretty insignificant amount of weight gain after the weekend's festivities...but I think it just took a couple of days for it to catch up to me. That combined with the "time of the month" munchies made for a week of struggling. Hence the 15km's of running I did on top of my daily work-out videos!!

I am half-way done this challenge...but am I halfway to my goal of losing 5.2 pounds to put me back into the 130's? You'll have to wait to find out!

6-week 6-pack: week 2

2011-05-15T20:36:00.001-05:00

[Due to Blogger being down on Thursday & Friday last week, I couldn't get this post done in time. But better late than never!]

Friday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) Evening snacking permitted ~ check! I went a bit over-board with the evening snacking tonight, I'm afraid...
3) Pepsi permitted ~ check! [twice again...oops!]
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Day 3 of Level 1 of 6-Week 6-Pack

Saturday & Sunday:
As per usual, I let loose and enjoyed my weekend...perhaps a bit too much! Evening snacking, pizza, pepsi...ohhh it was good!

Work-out of the weekend: 5km run on Sunday evening [another 30 seconds faster than my previous best time of the season!]

Monday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check! [well...if I'm being perfectly hones, I did have a teeny-tiny spoonful of cream cheese icing]
3) No Pepsi ~ I wasn't planning on having any...but someone had a 2L of Pepsi at work that needed finishing off. You know, before it got all de-fizzed and went to waste! So I had one small glass at lunch.
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Day 4 of Level 1 of 6-Week 6-Pack

Tuesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ I did have a piece of the carrot cake I had made on Monday at my Mom's Mother's Day celebration. But my rules state that I am allowed if it rates a 9/10 or 10/10 on my "How much do I love it" scale...and it does!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ Uh...I had a piece of leftover pizza. In my defense, I was actually hungry and not just eating for the sake of eating.

Work-out of the day: Half of Jillian Michaels' "Banish Fat Boost Metabolism" cardio video (approx. 30 minutes) AND a 5KM run in the evening [during which I shaved yet another 55 seconds off of my time]

Wednesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ I had a friend over for movie night and she brought Doritos. Need I say more??
3) No Pepsi ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Day 5 of Level 1 of 6-Week 6-Pack

Thursday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ I had 1/2 a Pepsi at the Mall food court for lunch, and 1/2 a Pepsi at home for supper
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Day 6 of Level 1 of 6-Week 6-Pack [I did two back-to-back days of the 6-Pack video because I knew I wouldn't have time for a video tomorrow...more on that in next week's post]

This week had a few more exceptions in it than last week, and at first I was disappointed and discouraged about that. But then I just realized that life is like that. Some weeks it's easier to stick to your plan and some weeks are harder -- with Mother's Day dinners and movie nights, etc. The REAL plan is that when such exceptions are thrown in my way, to be sure to deal with them appropriately [a.k.a. in moderation] and get right back 'on the horse' again!

Overall, I am proud of the work I did this week and the fact that I still did my work-outs the minimum 4-5 days a week [and then some!].

6-week 6-pack: week 1

2011-05-06T09:00:00.000-05:00

Well, I completed Week 1 of my newest 6 week challenge and I'm here to give the 4-1-1 on how I did. I'm not only reporting on the Jillian Michaels' video program I am doing, but also on the 5 items in my plan that I put into place a few weeks ago. The hope in all of this combined is that I will get noticeable results on my abs and "love"-handles and bring my weight back down into the 130's again.

I have to say something that I noticed immediately after doing the 1st day of the 6-Week 6-Pack video though. I have only done Level 1 of this video maybe 3 times before. And I'll admit that only 1 of those times I actually completed the entire thing. The other 2 times I quit halfway through. It's only a 35 minute video, but it is h-a-r-d! And while doing it on Monday for the first time in months, it never even entered my mind to quit. It was hard, don't get me wrong. But after the last 7 weeks of doing Ripped in 30 and 30 Day Shred, I can tell I am getting much stronger and that was great to notice right away!

Okay, now on to the daily details.

Friday: (This challenge officially only started on Monday, but I want my report to be from Fridays-Thursday)
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) Evening snacking permitted ~ check!
3) Pepsi permitted ~ check! [twice...oops!]
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: The final day of Level 3 of 30DS!!

Saturday & Sunday:
I enjoyed my weekend with Pepsi, some late-night snacking, some afternoon snacking and a break from working out. But I am proud to say that even though I was 'allowed' Pepsi on Sunday, I didn't indulge. Yay, me! Sundays are also supposed to be part of the "no evening snacking" rule, but I did partake of some ice cream with fresh home-made chocolate sauce. A small helping, but a helping none-the-less. So there were successes and, uh...non-successes throughout the weekend.

Monday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ Oops! I did indulge in some mini-eggs at work.

Work-out of the day: Day 1 of Level 1 of 6-Week 6-Pack AND a 5km (3 mile) run in the evening.

Tuesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ check!
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: Level 2 of Yoga Meltdown

Wednesday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ I had 1/3 of a can of Pepsi [I shared it with the girls at supper...in my defense, we had tacos so it's pretty much a requirement!]
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ Hmmm...what is it with work and mini-eggs?

**I do need to make a confession for Wednesday though, even though it's not on the list. I had forgotten to eat breakfast before leaving the house for work, and I knew I could not make it till my 1:00 lunch. The plan was to grab a muffin at Tim Horton's, but seeing how busy it was [and that I was already 1 minute late for work]...uh...I got a McDonald's breakfast consisting of an Egg McMuffin and a hashbrown and orange juice. Triple OOPS!!**

Work-out of the day: Day 2 of Level 1 of 6-Week 6-Pack

Thursday:
1) Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day ~ check!
2) No evening snacking ~ check!
3) No Pepsi ~ I had an entire can of Pepsi while having lunch at my sister's. And it was delicious.
4) No desserts ~ check!
5) No afternoon snacking [unless it's healthy] ~ check!

Work-out of the day: No More Trouble Zones [half of the 50 minute video] AND a 5km (3 mile) run in the evening...1 1/2 minutes faster than Monday's time, thank you very much!

As you can see from the check-lists above, I actually did really well this entire week with following my plan. One thing I want to work on during weekends though is my sense of entitlement. And by that, I mean that I want to work at not indulging in something just because it's the weekend and I'm officially allowed to. I don't want that to mean a 'free pass' for anything and everything.

If I realize mid-evening on a weekend that I haven't had a Pepsi yet, it doesn't mean that I need to immediately crack one open before bed to make sure I get one in yet before the day is over. I'm proud to say, actually, that exact thing happened on Sunday. And I resisted! Same thing with evening snacking. Just because I can snack in the evenings on weekends, doesn't mean that I have to.

All in all though, I am very happy with my progress this week. I am already noticing a huge improvement in feeling more toned in my core area. There is cardio in the 6-Pack Jillian Michaels' video, and I did get in those two 5km runs this week ~ but my main focus this week was on strengthening and toning my core [and the rest of my body too]. Which is why on the in-between days, I did yoga and strength training. The difference just from Monday to Friday is undeniable. Not only do I feel more toned, but I can already visibly notice too!

One week down...five to go!

6-week 6-pack: introduction

2011-05-02T17:22:00.007-05:00

After Friday's fiasco of a weigh-in, I'll admit ~ I felt pretty defeated. I feel like I have a reputation to uphold and that after one bad weigh-in that I had failed. Miserably. Failed myself and anybody else who may be using me as inspiration.

But to that I now say "Bah-Humbug"!

My measure of success isn't simply noted by achievements in weight loss, but it's also based on how I conduct myself when I hit a low point. I can choose to wallow in my self-pity ~ which would likely just bring me down further and further as I would undoubtedly start eating for comfort again, and we all know where that road leads ~ or I can pick myself up, dust myself off and not let this bad week conquer me and all I have worked so very hard for.

So I am taking on a new personal challenge. Aside from still attempting to follow "the plan", I am going to be doing Jillian Michaels' "6 Week Six-Pack" exercise video. For the full 6 weeks. Yikes!!

I am coming fresh off two other Jillian Michaels' programs ~ Ripped in 30 and just now the 30 Day Shred. I didn't actually do the work-outs 30 days in a row, but rather I modified it to better suit me. I did each level [there are 4 levels in RI30 and 3 levels in 30DS] 4-5 days a week before moving on to the next one.

This one will be a bit different. There are only 2 levels on this DVD and I honestly can't see myself doing Level 1 for 4-5 days a week for 3 weeks before moving on to Level 2 and doing the same. So I'm going to mix things up a little bit. The plan is to do Level 1 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for the first 3 weeks ~ with other videos thrown in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Perhaps a yoga video, or a hard-core cardio video or some good ol' strength training. Then once the first 3 weeks are up, I'll move on to Level 2 and do the same thing ~ doing it Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays with other videos on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

This way I get variety so I don't bore myself to tears. Not bored in that the work-out isn't challenging anymore [trust me, that wouldn't ever be a problem with Jillian videos!] but I just get bored of doing the same thing over and over again. So by breaking it up this way, I can see myself actually sticking with it for 6 weeks.

So what is the purpose? Well, to get a six-pack obviously! Ha ha...no, don't worry; I'm not disillusioned in thinking that I will actually get a six-pack in 6 weeks of doing this work-out. But I do know that it is exactly my mid-section [the tummy and those stinkin' love-handles...whoever named them that anyway??] that need the most work, so I figured this was a good way to target them. There is also a lot of cardio in this video, so I won't just be working on my abs but I will also be burning major calories.

I will post every Friday about how the week has gone ~ BUT ~ I am not going to report my weigh-in results for the next 6 weeks while this challenge is going on. I last publicly weighed in on this blog at 145 pounds on Friday, April 30th, and my goal is that at the end of these six weeks, I will be back in the 130's. That means I need to lose a minimum of 5.2 pounds in the next six weeks.

Will I do it? You'll just have to stay tuned to find out....

the details

2011-04-29T11:21:00.006-05:00

So, Lent is over and I'm back to being allowed to weigh myself whenever I jolly well please. I have only stepped on the scale twice a day this week though, and I'm hoping to actually get that down to once a day in the very near future.

I'm betting there are at least a few of you who are wondering what my weigh-in's were on the Sundays that I checked, though. So here are the actual results of my last several weeks.

The last Friday that I weighed myself before Lent was on March 4th, at which time I was at 142 pounds. Then I didn't weigh myself again until Sunday, March 27th. I made the decision the week prior that I was going to start allowing myself to check in on Sundays throughout Lent, so this was the first time stepping on the scale in 23 days! I kept the results to myself though, as the point was not to be drawing attention to the numbers on the scale. But on that first Sunday, my weight was 144.6 pounds.

I was pretty pumped about that, since Sunday morning weights are always substantially higher than Friday morning weights at the best of times....nevermind when I've gone 3 weeks without checking in to keep me accountable!

The following week, I decided that I hadn't been giving it my all though, and that was going to change. I worked really hard, and that next Sunday ~ April 3rd ~ I was 144.8 pounds. Up slightly from the week before, which was a little disheartening, but nothing I couldn't overcome.

The week after, I posted about my plan. Specific rules and guidelines I was determined to follow to increase my success. And on that Sunday's weigh-in ~ April 10th ~ I had dropped down to 143.2 pounds! Amazing how following a formulated plan can offer such success!

The next week was really tough since I put my back out and could do absolutely nothing in the form of working out. I started out that week by still trying to watch my eating, but it didn't take long before I just decided to write off the week and pick up again the following week. Bad attitude, I know. But the scale didn't reflect any of this, as I maintained my 143.2 pound weight that Sunday ~ April 17th.

The final week of Lent was a mish-mash. My back had healed and I got right back into my regular work-outs again [which felt GREAT, by the way], but I was not careful with my food & Pepsi intake. I think I had sort of decided that I was going to just enjoy this final week of freedom from the scale before "getting back on the horse" on the Monday. So, I was shocked on Easter Sunday ~ April 24th ~ when my scale showed the lowest it had in all of my Sunday check-ins with a weight of 143 pounds even.

It was a good feeling, thinking I had overcome the challenge of losing my daily safety-net and still managed to maintain. And actually probably even lose weight, since Sunday mornings it is not uncommon for me to be up 2 pounds from the official Friday morning weigh-in. That would've put me approximately at 141 pounds on that last Friday [although I'll never really know for certain]. I felt great knowing that I was starting off a bit ahead now and that going back to allowing myself to check in would only inspire and motivate me to be able to report a really good first official Friday weigh-in again today.

But instead, I am wearing a bag over my face in shame and embarrassment. In fact, I wasn't even going to post today's weigh-in results. I was going to post about not doing weigh-in results anymore in the interest of keeping the focus off of the numbers. Even though I would regularly check them myself, I was going to say that I was no longer going to publicly report them.

And I might still end up doing that.

But I didn't want to do it for the main reason of not having to report today's number. I didn't want to be a coward; I wanted to be honest and upfront with the number that greeted me this morning. With the number that greeted me almost every morning this week.

This is my first Friday weigh-in of being over my 143 MAXIMUM weight since I gave myself that 5 pound window back in fall. In fact, the last time I was this heavy was back in July of last year. I weighed in this morning with a nasty-looking number of 145 pounds.

!!!!!!!!!

I'm really not sure how this happened. Granted, I have always thought that sometimes it takes a body time to reflect some previous decisions and actions. And given that it was just Easter weekend [mmmm....chocolate!], not to mention "that time" of the month could be the reasons behind it. Well, okay...and the fact that I jumped back on the Pepsi over-load wagon a couple of weeks ago and can't seem to get myself off of it again. But if my estimation is close to correct that I must've weighed around 141 pounds last Friday...that's a FOUR POUND gain this week? How in the world does that even happen???

But I am regularly exercising [4-5 days a week of hard-core Jillian Michaels, with the very rare run sprinkled into the mix] and generally feeling good about myself. And that's supposed to be what matters right?

But I will buckle down this week and hopefully have a significant loss to report next Friday. And after that, I will decide if I'm going to continue to post my results every week or not. It's such a fine line because while I no longer want the spotlight shining on the numbers on the scale [Lent or not], I also obviously don't want to lose all accountability which then makes it much easier to start putting the weight back on.

I really, really, REALLY want to just be content with where I am at right now. But the truth is, I'm not. I say I'd be okay with it if I never actually shed those final 10 pounds but I know that's a lie. I want to be comfortable in my own skin at 142 ~ or even 145 ~ pounds. But the reality is that I'm not.

How do you get to that point? And is it even possible? Or will I bust my butt to eventually get rid of those last 10 pounds only to want another 10?

Anybody have the answers out there...??

get 'er done: part III (conclusion)

2011-04-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

This is the conclusion of my "get 'er done" trilogy that I started 3 weeks ago after I made the decision to step on the scale on Sundays for the remainder of the Lent period instead of going the entire time. The decision was to crack down and get back to business in the hopes of seeing some noticeable improvements in both inches and pounds on Easter Sunday. Get 'er done!

Sadly, I don't think I will have succeeded in that goal since the majority of what I "got done" was rebellion.

If you'll recall, I was down for the count exercise-wise last week with my back injury. Thankfully things healed up by last weekend, which meant that I could jump right back in with my 30 Day Shred video (Week 2) on Monday. I was very successful with completing this work-out every day this week.

But that's pretty much the extent of my successes over the past 7 days since my last post.

I think ~ no, I KNOW ~ that last week's set-back had an impact on this week too. Not physically, but mentally. It's so hard when you've experienced a set-back [especially one that's entirely out of your control] to get back into the swing of things.

And on top of that, I know I was purposefully rebelling because it was my last week of 'freedom' from the scale. Now, I certainly hope that I have learned over the last 40 days that I do not need to be as obsessive with my scale as I had been [weighing in 4-6 times a day and all], but I do know that I will at least do daily morning weigh-ins starting on Monday morning again. And I know that the accountability that will provide me will work in my favour.

But in the meantime, I sort of wanted to throw caution to the wind this week and enjoy an excess of Pepsi, and some Easter chocolates in the afternoon, and some evening snacking.

Ouch, ouch...and OUCH!!

But the good news is that the freedom from the scale really was exactly that ~ freedom. Not just freedom from not having to know if I gained weight, but knowing that weather I gained weight or not [and I had/have no idea what this week has cost me...yet] it didn't stop me from feeling great about myself. Not physically, perhaps. I know I felt bloated and over-full more times than what I should've...but mentally it didn't make me feel down about myself and stress about not being able to check the potential damage on the scale.

I know there's a healthy balance in there somewhere...between once-a-week weigh-ins where I take a break and throw caution to the wind ~ and where I step on the scale multiple times a day, obsessing about what might result from any poor choices I have made...and I think this Lent period has put me on the path to finally discovering it.

[Actual weigh-in results will be making a re-appearance in next Friday's post!]

get 'er done (sort of): part II

2011-04-15T14:11:00.000-05:00

Friday:
I was thankful for the weekend to officially be upon me and to be able to indulge in things I had been abstaining for all week long (very successfully). I love Fridays!

Work-out of the day: Unfortunately, I put my back out this morning and was walking around hunch-backed all day. No work-out for me...sad to have had to miss out on what was supposed to be my last day of Level 1 of the 30DS.

Saturday & Sunday:
Regular weekend eating on Saturday. However, I got ill Saturday evening and was in recovery-mode on Sunday, eating minimally.

Work-out of the day/weekend: Sadly, the back (and my not feeling well) prevented me from doing any form of exercise this weekend. I was really disappointed since the weather was perfect for running. I'm really hoping to get back to 30DS tomorrow.

Monday:
With my back still 'out' and exercising not even a possibility, it's tempting to throw all of the other 'rules' out the window and write this week off and start fresh next week when I am back to normal. But I'm determined to ride it out as best I can and not sabatoge the things that are still within my control.

Work-out of the day: Nothin'.

Tuesday:
I've been proud of my eating choices even though I can't work out...still. It's frustrating when you're on such a good roll and then something gets thrown in the path wrecking what you have been working so hard for.

Work-out of the day: Do I even need to say it?

Wednesday:
Big cheat day! Les' birthday was today and the girls and I took him to Montana's! I feel like I didn't really over-eat with my quantities of food (I had a small side caesar salad, a side of mashed potatoes with gravy and 4 chicken wings) yet I was over-the-top stuffed when it was all said and done! Okay, okay...and one glass of Pepsi. Then when we got home in the evening, I had a small piece of the ice cream cake I had bought for the celebration.

Work-out of the day: Sigh...

Thursday:
I was hoping this would've been the day for me to make a come-back with my working out, since my back was feeling remarkably better yesterday evening already. I even had a rare kid-free day to myself (which turned out to only be a morning to myself as I had to pick Joelle up from school when she wasn't feeling good), so the hope was to do a 5km run in the morning and start Level 2 of 30DS in the afternoon. But after having been up and around for an hour in the morning, I realized I was still feeling some twinges in my back and I want to wait until I am 100% healed before I do any sort of working out. I'd rather wait a few extra days then start up too early and take 2 steps backwards!

I will admit to over-indulging in food today while enjoying my solitude. I had a few Doritos mid-morning while catching up on some of my TV shows (but only a few) and I had Pepsi for lunch and...a Reese Peanut Butter cup chocolate bar. All 3 cups..for shame! I feel full and gross now though, so that just goes to show me!! I still have the rest of the day (afternoon, supper and evening) to make better choices, so I'm not writing off the entire day just yet!

Work-out of the day: Nothing, of course.

I can't even begin to tell you how frustrated this back issue has been for me this week. After last week -- my first week really getting back to business -- I noticed such a change already. I was excited to give it my all for the last 2 weeks of Lent (and then keep going, of course)...so this set-back is really discouraging. I am determined to pick things up as soon as I am able to though. And really, I know I will be struggling back-and-forth with these last 10 pounds probably for the rest of my life. I have no deadline or anything, so as long as I am able to get back into the groove after a set-back like this has been thrown at me, I should be okay.

get 'er done: part I

2011-04-08T16:57:00.000-05:00

Here is a quick run-down of my week trying to follow my new (again) rules:

Saturday:
Being the weekend, I did my 'normal' thing of consuming Pepsi and snacking in the evenings. BUT the key thing about this particular Saturday is that I went for my very first run of the year!! I hadn't been running for about 5 months, and I headed out for my first 3.5km and it felt so good! Very hard -- and obviously slower than usual -- but it was a great start!

Monday:
Okay, here we go. Time to buckle down and be strict with myself. Today was a work day, and whaddya' know...the very first day going back to being hard-core and it was somebody's birthday. This translates into birthday cake! It just goes to show you that temptation will really be there around every corner. I am proud to say that I resisted!

After work, I made pizza buns for supper. This is usually a meal that 'requires' Pepsi, and I'm still not sure if I made this meal to prove to myself (and everyone else!) that i could do it without Pepsi...or if I made this meal early in the week rather than mid-late in the week, since I couldn't possibly cheat with the Pepsi on the FIRST DAY. Whereas, if I had made this meal, say, on Thursday, I might have been able to convince myself that I had done well all week and deserved an 'exception.'

Work-out for the day: Day 1 of Level 1 of 30 Day Shred (30DS)

Tuesday:
My second Pepsi-free day in a row!

I was tempted by chocolate while at my Mom's for lunch today. Malia had a few pieces of individually wrapped chocolates for dessert, and I thought I could maybe have just one -- it was DARK CHOCOLATE afterall -- but I managed to leave them alone.

However...I was a bit nibbly in the afternoon...oops!! Just keeping it real though. I was craving grapes, so I dug into those -- which is totally allowed -- but then the idea came to me that chocolate chips would go splendidly with said grapes. And they did. Yummy!! Small amounts of chocolate chips, mind you, but still...a bit of a lapse, admittedly. Then I mindlessly nibbled on a few pretzels that Malia had left on the counter in her snack bowl before heading out to dance class. STOP SNACKING!!!

Work-out for the day: Day 2 of Level 1 of 30DS plus I went for my first 5km run!! I was very sore after that!

Wednesday:
A co-worker was passing out Oreo's for dessert at lunch. How hard to resist...but I did!!

In the evening I made a special dessert for hubby & the girls...and indulged in a piece myself as my 'treat of the week' (which is a term I just made up now...hee hee!). It was MORE than enough though, as my stomach felt full (and a bit gross) when i was finished.

I am really starting to miss my Pepsi and am happy that I only have to make it through tomorrow and then I can celebrate with one on Friday! :)

Work-out of the day: Day 3 of Level 1 of 30DS

Thursday:
I had a few chips with my lunch today, but was proud of myself for limiting the amount.

I was invited to my parents' place for supper tonight, along with my sister, and this spelled T-R-O-U-B-L-E!! My mom served her scrumptious tacos, beans and rice meal and I relished every bite. I ate more than what I probably should've, but yet I didn't feel stuffed and over-full. The 2 'weak' spots were that I had an entire can of Pepsi to myself and I indulged in dessert. A small helping, mind you, but still. It was one small scoop of ice cream with strawberries and a small('ish) helping of delicious homemade chocolate sauce over top. Had it just been the ice cream (and probably even the strawberries) I would've declined. But the chocolate sauce was the clincher for me!

In the evening at home, I also had a very small piece (2 bites) of the dessert I had made earlier in the week.

Work-out of the day: Day 4 of Level 1 of 30DS

***********************************************************************

Overall I am very pleased with myself and my choices. I feel like I got a lot of work-out activity in, and having only 1 can of Pepsi between Monday & Thursday was huge for me. Before this week, I had been averaging between 4-8 cans in the same time period. So even though I allowed myself a few exceptions, I know that I have made great progress.

I believe that it will only get easier as these rules become habits once again. Right now it's still fresh and new again and hard to go from one extreme to the next. But I am determined to keep this up and see a difference (both on the scale and in inches) by Easter...which is only 2 weeks away!

the plan

2011-04-03T19:30:00.004-05:00

Since I seem to do well when I make lists -- and go public! -- I figured I'd put together a little post with some of the specifics of what I intend to do on my newest mission to drop those last 10 pounds. Some things are Sunday-Thursday, some things are Monday-Friday...so to help keep me on track (and for you to help keep me accountable):

1. Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes a day Mondays-Fridays

This is a guideline that I fully intend on following as precisely as I can. I realize there will always be exceptions, and some days it's just not possible. For example, if it's a day I have to go into work and then I have supper plans in the city and only get home in time to put the kids to bed. I suppose it's still always possible to exercise after 9pm...but it's just not realistic for me.

For the next 30 days, as I mentioned in Friday's post, I will be following the 30 Day Shred program. But I also plan on incorporating running into my repertoire again -- however sporadic that might be -- and any runs that I do manage to squeeze in will be on top of the Monday-Friday video work-outs.

2. No evening snacking from Sundays-Thursdays

I know Sunday is technically still part of the weekend, but I feel that if I allow evening snacking 3 out of 7 days a week, it just might be a bit much. This is not to say that there will never be exceptions on Sunday evenings -- or other weekday evenings for that matter -- but it is, again, a guideline that I am going to do my best to follow on a regular basis.

If I am at a girl's games night, for example, and it's a Wednesday evening...I will allow myself small indulgences in the provided treats.

3. Pepsi is limited to Fridays, Saturdays & Sundays

This is an area where I am definitely including Sunday. :) See how I tailor-make these decisions to suit my life and what I believe to be reasonable?

And as always, there are exceptions to this...surprise, surprise! At home I am going to do my very best to make this a hard-and-fast rule (no matter what I am making for supper). But if I am at my parents' place mid-week and my Mom makes her ~~world famous~~ family famous beef enchiladas -- you know, the ones that just s-c-r-e-a-m "I need a Pepsi with this!" -- there may be some slack on the rules. I do hope that when this kind of situation presents itself, I will only share a Pepsi with one of my girls or something, rather than having a whole one. But time will tell, I suppose!

4. Desserts need to be a 9 or a 10 on the scale!

We don't very often have dessert at our house -- at least not during the week. So this one won't be too difficult to follow. Unless, of course we are at a parents' place. If my Mom is serving a delicious cheesecake or something else equally as delectable to my taste-buds (in other words, if it ranks a 9/10 or 10/10 on my "I love it" scale)...I will let myself have a small portion of the served dessert. However, if it's simply a bowl of ice cream or cookies -- not that those aren't yummy, but not my top favorites -- I will decline.

Weekends (Fridays & Saturdays) are another story though! :)

5. Afternoon snacking is kept to a minimum...and healthy.

Two days a week (Mondays & Wednesdays) I am at work from 9-3 and I never snack in the afternoon on those days. So this leaves me with Tuesdays & Thursdays to follow this rule. I am not permitted to get a big handful of chocolate chips to munch on, or break open the newest bag of chips in my pantry anytime between lunch and supper.

I may, however, have carrot sticks or grapes or the like. I would even be okay with a small handful of crackers. And yes, the occasional teeny-tiny-itty-bitty handful of chocolate chips might find their way into my mouth at 3:00pm in the middle of the week from time to very rare time...but for the most part, stuff like that is a big no-no!

So those are my 5 main rules & guidelines to whip myself back into shape. Feel free to keep me accountable if you are a witness to me abandoning the items on this list. Like I said, exceptions are bound to occur...but there's a fine line between exceptions, and exceptions-becoming-more-the-rule-than-the-exception. Know what I mean? So no offense will be taken if you say to me, "Uh, Andrea...it's Tuesday afternoon and you are having Pepsi and there are none of your Mom's enchiladas in sight." I would be BUSTED and I would want you to call me on it.

When I do my Friday posts, I plan on going through each of the 5 items and reporting on how I did. I'll tell you right now -- I will fail from time to time. I by no means expect perfection from myself. But I do want to be able to tell you all (and record for myself) that I did the best I could each and every week.

Summer time's a-comin' (not like you'd know it at all by today's terrible weather), and I want to be comfortable in my bathing suit again this year! And sticking to this list is going to insure that I get there!

the buck stops here

2011-04-01T16:44:00.003-05:00

I am finished passing the buck; it stops here. Yup, this is it, I'm tellin' ya! I have been allowing myself excuses for the past 6 months and I'm ready to put a stop to it!

It's not good enough anymore to say that after 18 months of consistent weight loss, I deserved to take a bit of a break.

It's not good enough anymore to say that I'll always be unhappy with my tummy area, whether I maintain my current weight or drop another 10 pounds.

It's not good enough anymore to say that I want to keep things as is in order to keep my new wardrobe fitting the way it is.

It's time that I go back to all of the same habits I had while participating in The Biggest Loser, and the rest of the time I was losing weight after that. So what does that mean?

That means weekends are my 'treat days' again and weekdays are 'strict days'. Which translates into no evening snacking, extremely limited Pepsi intake, healthy -- if any -- afternoon snacking, and regular exercise from Monday-Thursday. It's only 4 days in a row of going hard-core before I get to relax the rules for a couple of days before getting back into it again.

I may have been doing the regular exercise thing over the past few weeks hard-core, but that was it. And I have always preached that your diet & exercise go hand-in-hand. You can't just do one or the other; at least not to get maximum results. My Pepsi intake has gotten back to its all-time high (*hangs head in shame*), snacking both in the afternoon and evening has become more the rule than the exception (oops), and basically my head just hasn't been 'in the game' so to speak.

But after taking my measurements before & after completing Jillian Michaels' "Ripped in 30" DVD challenge and seeing absolutely zero difference...it was discouraging (I know I said I wasn't going to take my measurements until after the Lent period, but I decided I wanted to know the before & after directly upon finishing the DVD series). The way I was pushing myself in those work-outs, and the amount of sweating I was doing...if only I had been paying attention to my food & Pepsi intake at the same time, I could've had some killer results.

Instead, my stomach has never felt flabbier. Well, not never -- but certainly not since I've been 'maintaining' since mid-September. All of those Pepsi-related calories just go directly to my waist, and since that's my least favorite part of me at the best of time, you can only imagine how insecure I am now that I let so much damage occur over the past several weeks.

It's not like I've even really gained anything (my Sunday weigh-in last week gave me a rough idea of what I would've been had I weighed in on my regular Friday), but I've realized it's not just all about the number on the scale. Pounds and inches don't always measure up the way you might think. You could be busting your butt and not notice anything on the scale, but see the inches melt away. And vice versa -- you can be 'letting yourself go' in the food area and not see a gain on the scale...but your inches might be expanding.

So, the time has come. Actually, the time came and went a long time ago. Several times over. But sometimes you just need to get to that place on your own before things really kick in for you. And I have arrived at the much-needed place again to get things back on the right track. I will enjoy my weekend as a 'typical' weekend, and get back to the swing of things on Monday.

I am also going to be trying the 30 Day Shred in its entirety (never done it before) right on the heels of Ripped in 30. And this time, with the other changes I am going to be making, I will notice a difference when all is said and done -- which will conveniently be right at Easter time when Lent is over!

decisions, decisions

2011-03-25T08:13:00.004-05:00

I have made a decision this week. Actually, I tried to make this decision last week already -- but after presenting the idea to someone and it was met with a not-so-positive reaction, I ditched the thought.

Until I realized that by letting someone else's opinion control my decision (a decision that affects me and me alone), I was still being swayed by what other people might think of me. And since the whole point behind giving up my scale for Lent was to learn to NOT have that be my truth...well, I revisited the decision.

So after much thought, prayer and reflection -- until I reached the point of being completely at peace with this idea no matter what other people would think of it -- I have decided to start allowing myself to weigh-in on Sundays.

Here's why.

I may be doing extremely well with ignoring the scale -- in fact, I am amazed at how much I have changed in these two-and-a-half weeks already. I was being honest in my last week's post when I said it was great to not have to constantly be ruled by the number on the scale. I definitely am well on my way to not contributing the scale's number to my self-worth.

But on the other hand, I don't want to sabatoge all -- or ANY -- of the work I did over the past almost two years to get to this point.

So I am trying to make a distinction between the two. I'm not saying that if I were to gain weight over the course of Lent (without weighing myself at all in between), I would go back to letting the number control me again. But I don't think it's wrong of me to still ensure that I don't gain weight.

Since I've been maintaining (as of September), I have found that even with my multiple-checks-a-day on the scale it was hard to not go up a pound over the course of a week (before working it off the next week only to have to try to not let that pound creep back up on me the following week again). So my fear is that even while I'm working hard with regular work-outs (about twice as much as I was doing before this Lent decision) and trying to keep my eating habits the same (although I know I have been slacking a bit in this area)...without ANY checking up on the scale, it's quite possible that I could gain 1-2 pounds in a week.

With that math, over the course of a 7 week Lent period...the possibility of a 7-14 pound gain was just not something I was willing to face. Chances are it wouldn't have gotten that bad, but I didn't want to risk it.

I am quite confident that I can do both things at once -- give myself a weekly check-in to keep me on track and continue the journey of discovering where my self-worth comes from.

I will not be posting any weigh-in results during the remainder of the Lent season though. These Sunday check-ins will be between me and God. And in fact, I was considering keeping the whole checking-in part between me and God as well -- but I wanted to be honest and up-front with what I was doing.

So that is my decision this week. It was a struggle to get here, but now that I have arrived I feel really good about it. Thoughts are welcome...

the number game

2011-03-18T10:25:00.003-05:00

Well...I am into Day 10 of not weighing myself, thanks to my Lent sacrifice. And while I still do have moments of extreme curiosity where I can't help but wonder what I weigh, for the most part it has been very free-ing to be clueless in this area of my life.

It's so nice to not be controlled by the number on the scale; to not let it rule nearly every aspect of my day.

I have been continuing to work-out on a very regular basis: Tues-Fri last week, and Sun-Thurs this week so far (with plans to get a work-out in later today yet as well). I've been pushing myself hard-core with the Ripped in 30 work-out DVD, ready to start Level 3 on Monday. And feeling a lot stronger and more toned as a result of that.

My eating habits seem to have stayed the same, more or less, although there are some days when I feel like I have been over-doing it. Whether that's the truth, or whether I just feel that way because I have no indicator on the scale is really unknown at this point.

But I still feel confident in my body and in my health. So I have no doubt that this has been a great decision for me, to not weigh myself for these 46 days. I am trying to get over the fear, however, that the scale might reveal a gain on Easter Sunday. The whole point of this is to not put my self-worth in the scale, so I need to be okay IF the number that greets me at the end isn't what I want it to be. And to keep reminding myself of the purpose behind this.

I have been learning to just trust in God's love for me, no matter what. And to know that my family and friends also love me the same, no matter what my weight is. If I weigh in at 138lbs or 145lbs, it won't make any difference. In fact, nobody but me would even notice the difference either way.

So on this day -- my 2nd official weigh-in day in a row without a weigh-in to report -- I happily continue with my day without having to play the number game with myself!

flying blind

2011-03-11T10:04:00.004-06:00

For the next several weeks, things are going to be a lot different around here! On my main Lifesong blog, I posted on Wednesday that I was giving something up for Lent.

My scale.

Eeek! I'm not sure if you really understand just how scary this whole idea is for me. That's 46 days of no safety net underneath me! And when I'm used to checking in 4-6 times a day (minimum!), this will be a huge thing for me. I will be flying blind!

I am going to use this time, though, as a reminder to myself of where my self-worth comes from. It doesn't come from the number on the scale, that's for sure. I know I often fool myself into thinking that it does...but it's a big, fat lie! My self-worth comes from my Heavenly Father, and this is what I'm going to focus on when I'm going crazy with temptation to find out what I weigh.

There are a few details about this whole giving-up-the-scale business that I've been thinking about over the past couple of days. One of them is: Do I allow myself to check in on Sundays, as that is often proposed to be the designated "day off" from whatever it is you are 'fasting' from, or do I go the entire 46 days straight? I had asked for a bit of feed-back from my regular readers on my original blog and I got mixed opinions.

But I have decided to go straight through the 46 days without checking in at all. I think if I allow myself to weigh-in on Sundays, it won't be nearly as big of a sacrifice (despite the fact that I'd already be skipping 20-25 checks throughout each week!). I think by going without it the entire time, it will allow me to have a deeper re-connection with God as I learn to rely solely on Him in this area of insecurities.

The other thing that was suggested to me that I considered was to have Les hide the scale on me. I thought about it (only briefly) and quickly decided against it. Here again, I don't want to take the 'easy' way out. Afterall, if the scale gets hidden on me, I'm not really choosing every day to stick to my decision; I'd be left without a choice. I want the daily reminder that I am deciding to give this up, and that each and every day I am following through with it. Not because I am forced to because the scale has been taken away from me, but because I want to.

So the scale will remain in the bathroom where it always is. A constant reminder for the next 46 days. And while I am already more than curious as to my current weight (especially given the fact that today is official weigh-in day!), I am already enjoying the sense of freedom this has been giving me.

Now, I can see this going one of two ways though. Scenario #1 has me enjoying the freedom a bit too much and slowly falling into bad habits that will result in a not-so-pleasant reunion with the scale on Easter Sunday. With nothing to really hold me accountable, this danger is certainly possible.

But Scenario #2 is what I'm going for. Where, yes, I enjoy the freedom from the scale...but where I push myself to still work hard so that I feel a real sense of victory when I step on the scale again after 46 days. Learning to look to God for my self-worth doesn't mean that I can abandon my healthy choices and let weight creep back up on me. Yes, I will still be worth just as much at any weight, but it doesn't mean that it's okay to start going back to old ways. It doesn't mean that I can't still fight for those last few pounds.

So with my new decision to increase my number of work-outs per week (see #5 at the bottom of this post), and having just acquired Jillian Michaels' new Ripped in 30 DVD...I am equipped with what I need to have success at the end of this 46 day period.

I took my measurements yesterday, and will re-measure again only after Lent as well. And who knows...I may even see myself getting back into the 130's when all is said and done!

I still plan on doing weekly posts on this blog to keep me accountable for the choices I am making and to post about how this is impacting me emotionally and spiritually. So be sure to keep checking back every Friday even though there won't be any actual numbers to report!

read it and weep...

2011-03-04T09:41:00.003-06:00

...with boredom.

Ho-hum and yawn. The scale stayed at 142 this week. I tell ya, it's more exciting watching paint dry than watching my weight ~~change~~ never fluctuate.

I suppose I should be happy -- ecstatic even! -- that I maintained this week, given the fact that it was "the time of the month" and that I've been having some back issues this week which translated into ZERO work-outs this week. Not to mention that there have been fresh home-made chocolate chip cookies making themselves at home in my kitchen...and in my tummy!

I'm starting to think though, that regardless of what factors come into play over the course of my weeks (girl's weekends, sore backs, etc.), my scale probably ain't gonna do much budging until I can get out on the pavement and pick up my running again.

Which these days, feels like it's n-e-v-e-r gonna happen...

bouncing back

2011-02-25T12:36:00.002-06:00

As I mentioned last week (after my 0.2 pound gain), I was embarking on a girl's shopping weekend which would involve eating out for all of my meals. I told myself that I was going to find a balance and still enjoy myself without going over-board. I was going to control my Pepsi intake at the restaurants and watch my portions.

Well...that didn't exactly go as planned.

I indulged in Pepsi numerous times, enjoyed a couple of (virgin) margeritas and ate a lot of pizza, tacos, bread and fries (among other things). Oops!

So needless to say, upon returning home I was shocked to discover that my Monday morning scale-stepping showed a measly 0.6 pound gain from all of that. Yup, that's right -- I left on Friday morning weighing in at 142.2 pounds and I weighed 142.8 pounds when all was said and done.

I realize I did a lot of walking around all weekend, but I was still expecting at least a 2-3 pound weight gain. Needless to say, I did a bit of a happy dance when I got better news than I was expecting!

So, after all was said and done this week, I am once again back to 142 pounds even. Those 0.2 pounds seem to keep bouncing back and forth like a rubber band. I am continuing to exercise on weekdays that I am not at work (which translates to 3 days a week), pushing it really hard with various Jillian Michael's DVD's and continuing to try to focus on making good food decisions (always a constant struggle!).

I still can't wait for spring to visit so I can dust off my running shoes and hit the pavement full-force. I know that will bring about some good weight loss in short order, so I am counting down the days!

back and forth

2011-02-18T10:35:00.003-06:00

Not much to say this week ~ nor much time! ~ so I'll just say that those 0.2 pounds that I lost last week found me again this week.

I'm back up to 142.2 and I'm okay with that, especially considering the week that I've had. The busyness which resulted in only one short work-out and the stresses that brought about a little bit of emotional eating (like the giant chocolate bar I indulged in last night!). I'm just happy it wasn't more of a gain.

Next week will involve some hard work as I will be recovering from whatever gain I will acquire while on my girl's shopping weekend...leaving in 1.5 hours!!

and so it begins...again

2011-02-11T14:03:00.003-06:00

Week #1 of getting back on the "losing weight" train has come and gone. I may not have done as well as I would've hoped, but I did go down from 142.2 to 142 even.

I made some really good decisions this week ~ mainly NO snacking after supper (other than about 5 multi-grain tortilla chips I had at a girl's night on Wednesday night) and I did Jillian Michael's work-out videos 3 times. I've been having fun mixing it up from yoga to abs to cardio to weights over the last couple of weeks. My body is certainly feelin' it after not having done much over the last several months...but on the other side of things, my body is certainly feelin' it if you know what I mean!

I feel stronger already and I feel more fit. And that, to me, speaks louder than a 0.2lb loss on the scale this week.

On the flip side, I know there were some bad decisions that I made over the course of this past week too. First of all, we were on a Young Adult's retreat last weekend, which of course called for evening snacking (okay, so my NO snacking after supper really only started on Sunday night -- but still!!) and just not as healthy decisions. Although I did get in some activity in the form of ice skating and ping-pong! And don't laugh when I say ping-pong...with the way we were playing it, there was a lot of running around involved, complete with huffing and puffing! If I would've had a calorie-burner-counter at my disposal, I think I would've surprised you with how many calories I burned doing that activity.

Two other bad decisions that I made more than once this week were my Pepsi intake and...well, let's start with the Pepsi first. I had at least a little bit of Pepsi every single day this week. Ouch!! A full can on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Thursday. Tuesday and Wednesday were half-cans. So yeah, I definitely slacked off in the Pepsi area this week.

The other area of so-called failure is the fact that I have allowed Nutella into my home again. It all started on January 18th where I had convinced myself that I had learned good enough habits over the past 18 months that I would be able to enjoy this delightful treat in small, moderate doses. I did better than I have in the past, and in just less than a month I have gone through 2.5 jars of it (the small 400g jars). In the past, it would take me 2-3 days to polish off one jar, which would mean that 2.5 jars would've only taken me a grand total of 6-9 days. But I have had Nutella in my house almost every day since January 18th and have been learning to use it in moderation. I did have a bit of a relapse with it this week, however, and I am debating on whether or not to put another Nutella-ban into effect. I am wondering if I keep regularly stocking it in my house if the novelty will wear off...hopefully sooner rather than later. But is it worth the risk to find that out? We shall see.

Anyway, so with a combination of good and bad decisions this week, I am coming out ahead (barely)! Next week is a week where I am busy every single day, which leaves little room for working out. But I am determined to cut down on my Pepsi intake to make up for it! I also have my annual physical at my doctor's office on Tuesday, and I am looking forward to my chart reflecting my new weight once again! Last year it went down from 211lbs to 170, and this year it will go down from 170 to low 140's!! Love that!

it's official

2011-02-04T08:00:00.000-06:00

I am trying to lose weight. Again.

I know, I know...I just said on my Lifesong blog at the start of the new year that for the first time, I didn't have "lose weight" as something I needed to accomplish this year.

As it turns out, I was wrong.

Let me fill you in. Back at the end of September when I was in the best shape of my entire life (with my 10K training and all), my weight reached an all-time low of 138.2 one Friday. After that, I gave myself a 5 pound window to maintain within ~ from 138lbs - 143lbs ~ and as long as I was sitting nicely within that frame, I figured I'd be good to go.

And so far, every single Friday {my official weigh-in day} I have been within those boundaries, including today. In fact, I have never once even reached 143 on my Friday weigh-ins ~ and only occasionally did I even reach or slightly surpass that at any point during the weeks in between weigh-ins.

So what's the problem? Well, I had a bit of a scare this week. I have no idea how it happened, but things on the scale felt like they were getting out of hand. My morning weights during this past week were as high as 145lbs! I know you're probably going to tell me that's no need to get all bent out of shape, it's only technically a 2 pound 'gain' {since anything between 138-143 is 'maintaining' to me now}, but I had that 5 pound window for a reason. I was allowing myself the slight freedom to go up to 143 but anything above that was meant to be an extreme wake-up call for me.

See, if I start brushing off a pound or two, it's going to be just that much easier for me to be okay with a third or fourth pound...and then we start getting into major trouble. For someone who has been overweight {and even considered 'obese'} most of her adult life, it's a slippery slope and I need to be oh-so-careful to not let things get out of control.

And to me, this week was showing me that things were spiraling out of control. Afterall ~ one day my evening weight was {shudder} 147.2 pounds!! If you compare that to my ultimate lowest weight of 138.2 back in fall...that's a 9 pound difference. Way too much! Granted, the evening weights are always higher than the morning weights, but still. It was indeed a wake-up call for me.

So I am back in the "lose weight" mentality. I have been cutting way back on my Pepsi intake again ~ I only had it once since Saturday ~ and I have been saying NO to evening snacking again, which had become an almost daily thing once again. Plus, I have been more dedicated at working out. They are short work-outs, I'll be honest, but better than nothing. I do plan on working my way back up to longer work-out videos within the next week though {no! more! excuses!}.

And I have decided to change my 5 pound window. I am just not comfortable with myself sitting in the 140's. Especially when I inch closer to the high end of my current window, which puts me closer to 145 than 140. When I saw that 147.2 on the scale this past week, I almost had a heart attack! That meant less than 3 pounds until I hit 150 again and that is just never going to happen. Not ever!

So my new window will be 135lbs - 139.8lbs. I am hard-core determined to have my weight permanently in the 130's. The difference may not be visibly noticeable to those around me ~ but I know that I will feel better and I will look better {to me, anyway}. I can tell, without question, that while I have been 'maintaining' my numbers in pounds, my numbers in inches have been negatively affected.

I know previously I was using my wardrobe as one reason to be finished with my weight loss. And while this might have some effect on it, I think that the majority of my clothes will still suit me just fine when I reach my new goal. The pictures that I have been posting lately, in my 'From-the-inside-out' Friday posts are with me sucking in, or standing at the right angle, or using a cardigan or long scarf to help hide trouble areas. So yes, I think my wardrobe could handle a drop of a few pounds.

I guess, too, the thing for me is that my body never told me that I was finished losing weight. It's not like I was stuck at a certain number towards the end for week after week where I could convince myself that my body was comfortable where it was and that was that. I just decided at one point to be done. Maybe it was because of my wardrobe, or perhaps I was tired of the whole process, after 15 months of consistent weight loss, and I just wanted to be done. But whatever made me come to my decision to be finished losing weight, I think it was a cop-out.

For me to be in my healthy BMI range, my weight can be anywhere from 111lbs - 149.8lbs. I think 111 is a bit excessive for my body, but 130 pounds would be right in the middle, which means there's no reason why 135-139.8 isn't a reasonable goal.

And so it is my goal. And I know with 100% certainty that I will achieve it. Maybe not in the next month...but for sure by early summer after I have gotten back into running again. With my new mentality {again} and my new determination, I am ready for success!

So I am back to my public weekly weigh-ins in order to help make this more of a success. My current weight as of this morning {after thankfully working off those excess pounds that shocked me earlier in the week!} is 142.2lbs. Before I get back to my new 'maintain'-mode, I want to see 135lbs on that scale. Which means I want to lose 7.2lbs from where I am at today.

Wish me luck!

then and now

2011-01-08T20:28:00.003-06:00

At the beginning of January 2010, I posted some goals for the year (which you can find in the last 2 paragraphs of this post). I'll recap them for you here too:

1) To lose another 20 pounds (give or take) which hopefully translates into me being a size 7.

And the result? Success -- and then some! I had lost a total of 43 pounds when the new year began, and I made it all the way down to 73 pounds which is of course a 30 pound loss over the course of 2010. That was at my ultimate lowest, however ~ and realistically I am holding a 70 pound loss (which is still above & beyond the 20 pound goal).

As for the size 7 ~ another success! My wardrobe of pants consist of a variety of sizes starting down at size 2 and going up to size 9 ~ but the majority are sitting in the 5-7 range. It's still amazing to me when I go shopping that I can actually be looking in those smaller sizes. Sometimes I still catch myself automatically going to the 15/16 section before I remember that I don't need to do that anymore!

2) My running goals for this year are to run a 5K race in June and a 10K race in September, both here in my small town.

Again ~ success! With a slight twist. The 5K race I was intending to run in June in my small town didn't end up happening this year. I was very disappointed when I heard that, since that was supposed to be my 'practice' run for the 10K I was to run later on in the year. But, I did end up running in another 5K race with several of my neighbours in support of another neighbour battling colorectal cancer.

But the 10K race that I had planned went without a hitch. Well...I shouldn't really say that, since I was slightly disappointed in how things went. But I ran it, nonetheless, and was proud of myself for that.

My goals for 2011 are as follows:

1) Continue to maintain in my 138-143 pound window. So far ~ since I officially reached my goal weight almost 4 months ago ~ I am happy to say that I have indeed managed to stay within this 5 pound window. And for the majority of the time I am hovering between 139.8-141.

2) Run another 10K in September...in 1hr 5 mins. After my first long distance run in September, I wasn't sure that I really would ever want to do it again. But because I wasn't happy with my time (1hr 9mins), I want to prove to myself that I can do better.

3) Tone, tone, tone! This one will be hard to really track since it's not based on numbers of any kind. But I do need to work at toning. I took my measurements the other day, and while I can't find my old measurements to compare to see how things have changed in the last several months, I know that any changes there might be will be in the wrong direction. So it's my goal to tighten and tone up and perhaps take my measurements every other month to make sure I'm keeping things under control.

And there you have it.

something new is in the air

2010-11-26T11:28:00.004-06:00

So...I have still been having a hard time following through with my 3 somewhat simple goals that I've been posting about lately. Slowing down on Pepsi, going back to very minimal snacking, and exercising 20 minutes, 3 times a week.

While I know I have proven to myself that I can still reach goals doing things on my own -- there is definitely something to be said about having friendly competition. Or at least people to keep you accountable.

Lately I have also been hearing about a lot of other people who are struggling with their goals and motivation to continue to lose weight or maintain where they are at. So you know me...I wanted to step in and become a motivator once again.

I have started a new Facebook Challenge. It started out with me wanting to give up Pepsi for one week and I put the shout-out on Facebook to see if others wanted to join me be giving up one fo their food/beverage addictions for the week together with me. Before you know it, I had 20+ people wanting to participate. So that got the wheels turning in my head...

I am now going to be heading up regular Facebook "Pop" Challenges as my new way of motivating healthy habits and weight loss results! It's going to be a lot simpler than the Biggest Loser competitions that I ran last year -- but hopefully just as successful! There will be no teams, no money involved...basically no rules whatsoever. All I will do is post a random challenge from time to time -- and whoever wants to participate can. People can join in as they want, drop out as they want...pick and choose which ones they want to do and which ones they don't.

Nobody other than yourself will be affected if you choose to sit out on a challenge. Or if you fail to complete one. You are doing this for yourself -- but with the added motivation of knowing there are other people doing it with you for support and encouragement.

Some of the upcoming challenges I have already dreamed up are: Drink 8 glasses of water a day for two weeks. Or for every 1/2 hour of TV you watch, you need to do 10 minutes of exercise. Or for one week any snacking you do can only be fruits or veggies. Or no eating after supper (some people chose to do this as their food/beverage item they are giving up...but I think I'm going to make this its own specific challenge).

I'm hoping these "pop" challenges will help people form new habits. I know they say it takes 30 days to form a new habit and not just one or two weeks...but as long as I'm helping give people a head-start, they may possibly keep going with a challenge long enough to make it become a regular thing for them. I am also really looking forward to not only handing these challenges out, but participating in them all as well.

I think a lot of people will participate -- and benefit from it -- largely due to the fact that there is no long term commitment. You can participate as you choose. So here's hoping for a new bout of healthy habits and a lot of success stories.

walking the walk

2010-11-05T09:13:00.004-05:00

Last week I posted about three new goals that I wanted to strive towards. As a quick re-cap they were as follows:

1. Slow down on the Pepsi intake
2. Go back to making evening snacking a very rare exception
3. Exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes, 3 days a week

So how did I do on Week #1 of these new goals? Well, I shouldn't say they are NEW goals, as I have strived to do this all for the past almost 18 months already. But since reaching my goal weight, I have been slacking off.

Okay, so where was I? Oh yes...how did I do this past week with these goals. Not so well.

I can come up with excuses for all of them. With the emotional week that I had, indulging in Pepsi was a strong comfort for me (tsk, tsk). With the very specific time of year that we are currently in -- that being the week that Halloween falls in -- I just could not resist chowing down on multiple mini chocolate bars (and I mean multiple per day!). And as for the exercising...well, I did a minimum of 20 minutes TWO days a week. So I suppose it's not an entire failure of a week.

And even though I'm not officially weighing in anymore, I did weigh in this morning at 0.2 pounds lighter than last week. And considering all of the chocolate treats I consumed...I was not really expecting that (although as of yesterday morning, I was two entire pounds lighter...not quite sure how things took such a turn for the worse in the last 24 hours).

Anyway, I obviously need to continue to push myself to succeed in these goals from week to week. If I really want to claim I have made a lifestyle change, I need to make sure that shows no matter if I'm at my goal weight or not. No matter if I'm going through a stressful time in my life. No matter if it is a time of year when over-indulging is considered normal. Afterall, last year I managed to restrict myself to one -- yes, ONE -- mini chocolate bar during this same week of the year. And if I remember correctly, I powered through many a stressful week with minimal Pepsi intake. And I didn't use a busy schedule to talk myself out of regular exercise.

So once more I am reminding myself that if I'm going to talk the talk...I need to walk the walk.

it's time

2010-10-29T10:50:00.003-05:00

It's time for some new goals. It's amazing how much better I do when I have a specific goal to strive towards. And for me, this "maintaining" business isn't working for me since there's no actual progress to make or to be seen.

So, over the past several weeks -- since I officially finished losing weight -- I have found myself at a bit of a loss. My goal weight was reached, my goal of running the 10K was completed...now what?

I am happy to say that I have still maintained within my 138 - 143 pound bubble...thankfully never weighing in higher than 142 on a Friday, and usually hovering more around the 139/140 mark. But I do notice that I don't feel nearly as good. You know how you can lose inches but not see the numbers on the scale go down? Well, the same is true the other way. The scale isn't really going UP...but I can tell the inches are coming back on.

I haven't actually measured myself lately, but I don't even need to. I can see it when I look in the mirror. And I can feel it just in everyday life. I'm starting to feel a lot less toned and more flabby. I'm starting to feel less energetic and more lazy. Not good. Not good at all.

I will confess that in the past month, the only real forms of exercise I have had are running two 5K distances, one Jillian Michaels yoga video and one Turbo Jam video. That's it...in one entire month! For shame, Andrea!

I have also felt myself slipping in the area of food...and Pepsi. I indulge in Pepsi almost on a daily basis again (hmmm...sound familiar? That's the OLD Andrea-lifestyle...) and the exception of having a snack in the evenings have started to become more frequent. I can hardly call it an exception anymore. To be honest, I'm surprised I haven't gained 5+ pounds in the past couple of weeks.

So my new goals are not weight goals. Or distance running goals. But they are as follows:

1. Exercise at least 20 minutes 3 days a week. I say 3 days a week because with my work schedule, weekday single-motherhood, extra-cirricular activities, the girls' homework, etc...well, I just know myself and my schedule and I know what is a reasonable goal for myself.

Sadly, I think I am done running now until springtime. It was hard enough getting out to run while training for my 10K what with my hubby gone during the week. But now with the temperatures dropping and the darkness creeping in so early...yes, I am a wuss when it comes to running in the fall/winter. And I can easily admit it. So instead I need to return to my work-out videos. Thankfully I have a pretty good selection so I can mix it up regularly. The hard part is just going to be getting back into the routine of doing it from last spring.

2. Consume less Pepsi. This is going to be a bit harder because I don't want to give myself a certain number that I am 'allowed' each week. Sometimes that just makes me want to rebel. :) Rather I just want to make a conscious effort to go back to being more careful.

3. Less evening snacking. Again, I'm not going to tell myself I'm only allowed an evening snack a certain number of times a week. But I need to go back to ONLY snacking if my stomach actually feels hungry...and even then, a more controlled portion of something healthy.

And that's it. It's only three goals -- but it's enough to get me back to the basics. They are all common sense goals, and that's how I lost my weight to begin with. More exercising. Less eating.

if i can dish it out...

2010-10-10T20:01:00.005-05:00

...I need to be able to take it too.

I'm talking about advice. In fact, sometimes I'd even refer to it as lectures. At times these 'lectures' are given directly to people (if they ask for my opinion/advice) and other times I do it quietly in my head.

The specific thing I am referring to in this particular post is the whole lifestyle change thing. I have been frustrated on more than one occasion with people who claim they have made a lifestyle change, only to hear them complain about putting on an extra 10 pounds over the summer months.

That, I say, is not a lifestyle change. If you can put on 10 pounds over the short summer months, you can only really claim 'temporary lifestyle change...when it suits you.' In other words, it's no different than dieting to get good results, only to throw it out the window again when circumstances come into play that you're choosing over your 'diet.'

I had lots of opportunities to put on weight this summer too. There were several weekends away at the lake, plenty of hot days to indulge in slurpees, ice cream, freezies. Lazy, out-of-routine days of summer that stretched out before me. But rather than gain 10 pounds over summer, I lost 10 pounds over summer. How? By continuing in regular exercise and eating in moderation.

That, to me, proves lifestyle change.

Well, now that I'm finished tooting my own horn -- here's the tough part. I need to give myself that lecture now. Before it's too late and I go down that slippery slope myself.

As you know, two weeks ago I completed my goal of running in my first organized 10K event. Immediately after that, I lost all motivation to run. (Well -- truth be told, I lost motivation already one week prior to the big event.) From that day until yesterday -- two full weeks -- I'm ashamed to say that I ran 1 mile in those 14 days. Yup...one measly, pathetic mile.

Here's the problem I'm facing. I have reached my weight loss goal. I have successfully completed my 10K goal. So now what?! I have no desire to lower my weight loss goal. And I certainly have no desire to up my running distance.

But in order for me to be able to claim that I have made a real lifestyle change...I need to continue on as I was before. I may not have any more weight to lose, but that doesn't mean that I need to start indulging in almost-daily Pepsi's again, or start snacking in the afternoons. I may not have a 10K to train for, but that doesn't mean that I can't get back to enjoying my shorter 5K runs on a regular basis.

And that's exactly what I did this weekend. Two 5K's on back-to-back nights this weekend, and I feel terrific!

I may be at that point where I don't need to constantly be watching everything that I eat, or working out as hard as I was before -- but I still need to be mindful that I don't slip back into old habits. That I don't become another person to join the high statistics of people who lose weight only to gain it all back (and then some).

That I don't turn into a hypocrite.

i have a confession

2010-10-08T10:06:00.002-05:00

I'm a wee bit selfish. I know, I know -- everybody is right? It's human nature to have selfish tendencies so I'm not alone.

But I feel really guilty about this one. It has to do with running...and other people doing it. Apparently I have inspired many, many people to start running (most specifically the Couch to 5K running program that I did last summer). And while I should want to be that inspiration to other people, everytime I hear of yet another person setting out to accomplish what I did...well, let's just say I have mixed feelings about it.

Part of me wants to cheer them on and say Go for it! You can do it! Way to go! But another part of me -- and I fear, the bigger part of me -- thinks Really? You too?! For you see, the more people that accomplish this feat, the less of a triumph it feels like for me. I used to be the exception of my family and friends with this whole running business. And now it feels like every Tom, Dyck and Harry -- and their dogs -- are doing it too.

And it's robbing me of my glory. My thunder is being stolen bit by bit with every new jogger that hits the streets. It doesn't feel like nearly as big of an accomplishment anymore now that everybody else is realizing that they can do it too.

See? Told you I was selfish.

I'm trying to tell myself that just because they are doing it -- it shouldn't change anything about me and my accomplishments and the feelings of pride that I should still have about myself. But yet it does.

so this is what it's like

2010-10-01T11:30:00.003-05:00

I think I have finally grasped the concept of maintaining. My mind has finally seemed to catch up with the idea that I don't have to lose weight in order to not gain.

Last week was the first week I did not post my weight results in almost a year and a half. But since my last week's weight goes along with what I'm wanting to say today, I'm going to reveal the numbers anyway.

Two weeks ago when I last reported, I had lost another 1.2 pounds to bring me into the 130's with a weight of 139.4. Then in the week that followed, I somehow lost yet another 1.2 pounds, lowering my weight to 138.2 pounds. That was my weight last week.

And this week? I weigh 139.8.

So did I gain weight? Well -- technically, yes I did. The answer is obvious with the numbers, as 139.8 is clearly a higher weight than 138.2. But do I consider myself having actually gained weight this week? No. What I'm doing is maintaining. For, you see, maintaining doesn't mean you have to stick to the exact same weight week after week after week...it would be nearly impossible to sit at a constant 138.2 pound weight.

When I changed my final goal to be sitting between 140-143 pounds (instead of 136.2 --- a 75 pound total weight loss), I finally meant it. That, to me, is maintaining. Sure -- I somehow managed to creep below the 140 pound mark within the last couple of weeks, but in the realm of maintaining, that is likely to happen. Weight fluctuation on both ends. There will be weeks where I dip into the 138 pound marker (and perhaps even a pound or so lower), and there will be weeks where I surpass the 140 mark again (although hopefully not much higher than that!). I no longer consider those as losses or gains.

I am simply maintaining. And that feels so good to say -- and to finally believe.

10K running journal: the final entry

2010-09-25T17:33:00.003-05:00

Well...the day finally arrived.

I have been anticipating this event all summer long and it always seemed so far off in the future. But like anything else -- eventually it came.

Yesterday evening I was a distracted, anxious mess! Everything was feeling so real and was finally sinking in. I don't really know why I was so apprehensive about it all -- afterall, it's just running. I kept telling myself it's not like you're getting up on stage in front of hundreds (or thousands) of people to sing or play piano where there is a chance to really mess up. Nothing to be nervous about -- all you are doing is running. Putting one foot in front of the other. That's it.

I failed to convince myself.

I went to bed nice and early last night and surprisingly (and very thankfully) I fell asleep quite quickly and slept pretty soundly all night long. Until 6am when for some reason I woke up. My alarm was set to go off at 7am, but of course I didn't get any more sleep after I woke up at 6am and started thinking about what the day had in store for me.

I did stay in bed until 7:00 though, at which time I got up to shower and get ready for the day. I had myself some breakfast (not too much though -- my nerves were such that I could only have a tiny bowl of porridge and not even a full piece of toast), pinned on my number and posed for my pre-race picture before heading out the door.

Once I got to the race area, I immediately relaxed. My feelings turned from anxiety to excitement at what I was about to take part in. Not only was I about to run in a formal 10K run for the very first time -- but I was running in support of a very good cause (awareness for mood disorder, mental health and suicide prevention) that is dear to my heart.

At 9:00am (actually a few minutes before, according to some of my spectators who didn't quite get to see me at the beginning -- oops!), it was Go-time!

It was a bit slow at the start, since there were hundreds of runners all starting off together (some doing the 10K, some doing the half-marathon and some doing the half-marathon as a relay). In a way it was good to have that slower start so I had no choice but to pace myself early on -- but on the other hand...well, it slowed down my time of course.

Right after I completed 2 miles I had the privilege of following the route which took me down my very own street! It was cool to run past my house with Les and the girls cheering me on (along with several other neighbours along the stretch). It did happen to fall right in my 1 minute walking interval -- but I ran through it and did my walking interval as soon as I passed all of my watchful neighbours.

One thing that was different for me on this run too was that there were water stations along the way. I don't ever bring a water bottle with me on my runs, but I figured since people were handing them out, why not grab a sip or two at each station along the way? I think if I were to re-do it, I would choose to leave the water stations alone. I think that also slowed down my time, since you have to slow down to actually drink the water -- and to be able to grab it out of the volunteers' hands. I usually only ended up having one sip out of the cup anyway before throwing the rest away.

I should've zoomed in on this picture, but there I am in the green shirt coming down the home stretch! Probably 30 seconds to go till the finish line at this point. I was thinking I would get a last burst of energy to finish fast and strong...but that didn't really happen.

And here's a lovely shot of me just steps away from the finish line (the red blow-up thing is what I ran through at the very end).

I'm not sure what exactly I'm doing in this next picture -- but I think it looks like I'm looking back at that finishing line thinking "Did I actually just DO this? Yup, sure enough -- there's the finish line behind me!" :)

For some reason I really struggled on the run this morning. I was thinking (as I had also been told several times) that I would be so pumped full of adrenaline that my time would be faster than what I had run it thus far. But with the slow start, having to dodge around runners (especially at the beginning before things started thinning out) and the water stations...I was left with a slower time than I had hoped for. Not to mention that the run was technically 10.3K instead of an even 10K (which makes a difference, let me assure you!).

Bottom line: The official race results aren't posted yet -- but according to my GPS watch, my time was 1:09:50. Since my best time has been 1:06 (twice!), I was hoping to actually beat that time. So needless to say I was a bit disappointed about that.

But only a little bit. Because really in the end I should feeling nothing but PRIDE for what I have accomplished. Afterall, I just freakin' finished a 10K race in one hour and nine minutes!

10K running journal: part III

2010-09-24T09:32:00.002-05:00

It turns out, this 10K running journal will have very few excerpts, since this is only Part III and the big day is tomorrow!! I thought I had better quickly give my final update before the actual 10K run.

For starters, like I mentioned in Part II -- on Saturday, September 11th I participated in my very first organized running event. A 5K run with 6 of my fellow neighbours (a few canceled last minute due to health/family situations) in support of another neighbour battling colon cancer. Since the focus of the run was Colon Cancer, all runners were encouraged to 'dress up' their bottoms. So we did! We had matching team shirts (which I will not actually post, since they have our street name on it) and aside from that we each chose our own bottoms to wear.

Can you guess which booty belongs to me? :)

It was so much fun participating in my first organized running event, and it was a great way to ease my way into them. This run was very laid-back (no official times or anything), a short distance (5K) and not a very big crowd. It was perfect. I made it in pretty decent time and was proud of what I had accomplished.

But that was small potatoes compared to what's coming up this weekend!! I picked up my race kit yesterday afternoon and it made it all seem more real. That is, it made me start feeling really nervous and anxious! I keep trying to tell myself that there's nothing to be nervous about. It's not like I'm actually going to try to WIN the thing...I'm just running. Like I do many other times. Sure, there will be hundreds of people watching me throughout the race, but still...what's the big deal? I haven't quite convinced myself of that yet though...

As for my training lately...it's been pretty lacking, I'll admit. I did my second 10K on Monday, September 6th in the evening (and shaved 4.5 minutes off of my previous 10K run, which was done in a morning), then I ran a quick 3 miles the following Thursday, followed by my 5K run for colon cancer on September 11th.

After that, my next run was Thursday, September 16th -- my 3rd (and final) 10K run before the big race. I sent both girls off to school, and headed off for my run. This time it was in the morning again, of course (my least favorite time of the day to run!) -- but I had been up for a couple of hours already so my legs had gotten plenty of time to stretch and I had eaten breakfast. Another thing different about this run was that I ran the actual 10K route that I will be running on Saturday.

One thing that I attempted on this run was to run the first 5K of it straight through with no 1 minute walking breaks in between. I usually run 10 and 1 intervals, no matter what distance I do. But that day I wanted to see if I could improve my time by starting off powering through the first half of the run.

Well, I don't think I will ever do that again!

By the time I ran the first 5K straight, my legs were a lot more tired than what they're used to be at that point of the run. I definitely took advantage of my 1 minute walking intervals after that, but I am proud to say that I didn't walk a second longer any time. My legs were absolutely k-i-l-l-i-n-g me for the last couple of miles, but I powered through and completed it in 1:06:14 -- shaving a mere 7 seconds off of my previous time.

I figured that was pretty good, since my morning runs are typically slower than my evening runs. I was happy with it, but was curious how much I had negatively impacted that time by trying to be a hero and not take walking breaks in the first half. Oh well.

What I do know is that I could literally barely walk when I completed that 10K. Since I had taken a different route than usual, I had a bit of walking to do to get back to my house. I have never walked that slow in my entire life. It took every ounce of my will power to keep my legs moving one at a time to FINALLY bring me to my doorstep.

Ouch!!

And since that day I have not run a single mile. Yup, that's right. The big run is tomorrow, and I will not have ran for 9 days at that point. Oops! Part of it has been our busy schedule over last weekend, part of it was Les' work schedule at the beginning of the week, and part of it was the rainy miserable weather over this last half of the week.

And, I'll admit, part of it is that I just don't feel motivated anymore. I just want this to be over with. I had mentioned in my last jogging journal post that these long distances are starting to make me HATE running and I can't wait to just go back to my shorter 5K distances. Of course that's the longest distance I would've run this week anyway -- but I just felt absolutely zero interest to get out there this week. I wish my motivation would've hung on for one more week to get me PAST the race, and not get up and leave the week BEFORE the race.

So I'm unsure of what tomorrow will bring. Part of me is worried that I have screwed my chances of beating my 1:06 time by not running at all this past week. But I also hear (and believe it) that on race day you usually run faster with all of the adrenaline and people cheering you on. I'm hoping that is true!

I am planning on sticking with my 10 and 1 intervals for the most part. But it will all depend on where I am during that 1 minute walking time. For example, the route takes me on my very own street and there will be lots of my friends and neighbours sitting on their front porches cheering us all on. You can be darn tootin' sure that I am running down my street, no matter if it's during my 1 minute walking interval or not. And I'm sure I will see plenty of people I know all over the route, which will make me want to push harder and show them what I've got! So I'm not exactly sure how the walking intervals will come in to play. I just know that somehow I've got to work them in.

And I will be sure to let you all know how it went!

a milestone is a milestone

2010-09-17T13:05:00.004-05:00

Well...after Monday's post about me deciding to officially be finished my weight loss journey, I finally enjoyed a pressure-free week. For the first time in 15 months, the burden of having to see a loss on the scale was off of my shoulders. And it felt great.

Then why did the scale give me a 1.2 pound loss this morning??

That's right. I lost 1.2 pounds this week, which now officially puts me into the 130's -- 139.4 to be precise. I am confident that I was not consciously trying to lose any more weight, but I also have a sneaking suspicion that subconsciously I was not going to give up until I saw the 3 as my middle digit.

However it happened -- consciously or subconsciously, purposeful or accidental -- it happened. And I am going to celebrate this awesome milestone the way it deserves...with a cold Pepsi and a happy dance. :)

And I really am going to stop now.

it's my blog...

2010-09-13T14:38:00.003-05:00

..and I'll change my mind if I want to!

I've done it before and I'm doing it again. I know I said awhile back that I had made my FINAL decision on my ultimate weight loss goal. But guess what? I've changed it again.

Now before you start bringing out the lectures -- let me explain: I haven't lowered my goal this time. I've raised it! Yup, you read that right. And no, I'm not planning on actually gaining weight, but rather just staying exactly.where.I.am.

My goal of getting to 136.2 pounds (which would give me a few pounds wiggle room between that and 139.8 pounds) has changed to maintaining right where I am now: between 140 - 143 pounds. Wanna know why?

As I mentioned on my last Friday's weigh-in post, I really am perfectly content with the size and shape of my body -- other than my tummy area. But as I also said, I think losing another 10-15 pounds wouldn't even fix that problem; I think it's here to stay. So why continue pushing to lose weight when all it's going to accomplish is squeezing me out of yet another wardrobe?

Another thing I've been thinking about lately is that I don't want to be one of those people who will do whatever they can just to reach a specific number. I mean, really -- does it matter if I weigh 142 pounds or 139 pounds? Those few pounds difference is hardly going to be noticeable to the eye...I will likely be the only one who would know the difference -- and only because I'd see the number on the scale.

So, that's it -- I'm done. But while my weight loss journey may be over...my weight maintenance journey is not. So don't forget about me over here at mission: possible -- I'll still be around...

well, here i am...

2010-09-10T13:42:00.004-05:00

To be honest, even as late as yesterday I wasn't sure if I was going to be posting this Friday -- you know, with my new decision to only post when I reached my next (and last) 3 milestones and all.

Well, I reached one today.

I needed to lose 0.4 pounds this week to reach my next milestone of a 70 pound total weight loss. As it turns out, I lost 1 entire pound this week, bringing me to a 70.6 pound total weight loss. Bring on the fireworks!!

Next milestone: Another 0.8 pounds to drop me into the 130's (currently I sit at 140.6 pounds). Could be next week...could be next month...time will tell.

Moving on now to a bit of a dilemma that I have. This past weekend I got a lot more compliments about how good I look and that I *must* be at my goal weight by now. I would tell people that technically I wanted to drop another 5 pounds (to get me to my 136.2 goal) but that if I never actually reached it I would be content with this.

And I was telling the truth. I really and honestly believe that I am at the point where I am happy right where I am. Anything extra from this point on is just bonus. So where's the problem?

I don't know how to maintain.

Seriously...I certainly know how to gain weight (Ha...don't we all!?) and obviously I now know how to lose weight. But in my mind it's got to be one or the other, there's no in between. And so I seem to tell my mind -- and my body -- that I still need to lose weight just so that I don't gain.

But I want to stop losing weight now. In fact, I might not even want to get down to 136.2 anymore. My original goal of 139.8 (a mere 0.8 pounds away) would suffice just fine. Heck, even staying in the low 140's where I am today I would be okay with. I keep buying clothes and out-growing them (or under-growing them..??) before I even get the credit card statements. I worked hard at building and collecting a new wardrobe -- and I spent lots of money on it to boot! I don't want these clothes to get too big on me and have to start all over yet again.

I like the way that I look...for the most part. Yes, I still have a jiggly tummy. But you know what? I could drop another 15-20 pounds and still have it look this way. It's likely just going to be a permanent physical reminder of the babies that I had. Other than that little tummy issue, I really am perfectly happy with the size of everything else on my body. So why keep going?

I think that once I am finished training for my 10K run at the end of this month maybe that will help, but I'm not sure. I have gotten so good at training myself to eat smaller portions, to limit snacking, to watch my Pepsi intake...how do I manage to keep up those good habits without continually dropping weight almost every week?

I know some of you are going to think (sarcastically): Oh yeah...poor you. You've got quite the problem not being able to stop losing weight. But this isn't a physical problem -- it's an emotional problem. How do I get to that point where I am okay with slight weight fluctuation without immediately starting to freak out that I am GAINING weight??!!

There is a lot of emotional baggage that comes with a significant weight loss such as the one that I am experiencing. This is something I wasn't aware of -- or prepared for -- when I started this journey. I would've just thought that you work hard, you lose the weight and then you just maintain it. And that's that.

Turns out there's a lot more emotional involvement that goes into something like this. And I'm just struggling with all of it. I wish I could explain it better...anybody else out there know what I'm getting at?

10K running journal: part II

2010-09-09T20:32:00.004-05:00

Schedule, schmedule! Who needs it?!

Well, okay...I actually would've loved to be able to follow my chosen 10K Training Schedule very accurately. But as it turns out, with Les' out-of-town work stint this summer, I have been left with very little choice but to just roll with the punches.

So that's what I've been doing.

The last time I posted about my 10K training, I had just completed my first long run of 8 kilometres. And I felt fantastic! I completed it in about 57.5 minutes and was super pumped about my accomplishments. After one or two shorter runs, I tried the 8K again...and this time I somehow was able to chop off just over 5 minutes of that time. Yup, I ran it in just over 52 minutes. You can't even imagine how stoked I was over that improvement!

But along with those feelings of excitement and pride came the feeling of FEAR, since I knew that the next obstacle to face would be the actual 10K distance, YIKES!!

I attempted my very first 10 kilometre run on Saturday, August 28th. And it.was.brutal. Here's how it went down. First of all, I headed out first thing in the morning. I even set my alarm (on a SATURDAY!!) to make sure I got out at a decent time. Afterall, the run that I am training for is happening at 9am and I needed to get at least a few morning runs in (since running is a lot different on your body at different times of the day). I hadn't done a morning run of any length since last fall, so this was going to be tough.

So I woke up, used the bathroom, brushed my teeth and headed out the door. Yup, that's right. I didn't even eat breakfast. I would not recommend that! Not that I was almost passing out from hunger or anything, since I usually don't eat for at least 1, maybe 2 hours after I get up. But it would've given me more energy that's for sure!

So I started the run on an empty stomach, on very wobbly morning legs. I actually could hardly sleep the night before, I was so nervous about this run. It was crazy! But I stretched, and headed out the door in some really good running conditions weather-wise.

And guess what? I completed it! The entire 10K!! I ran my regular 10-and-1 minute intervals (10 minutes running, followed by 1 minute of walking) the entire time. My goal was to see if I could finish it in 1 hour and 10 minutes. The final time? 1 hour, 10 minutes and 50 seconds. Not bad!

You know what I thought as I finished the run? That I didn't ever want to do that again!! It's true. My legs were so sore, I was so exhausted, and honestly I felt like throwing up! Talk about a tough run. But knowing that I succeeded in that was quite exhilerating!

My legs continued to hurt (and I mean, they were REALLY sore) for the entire day and into the night. Thankfully by the next day they were getting better, and I even went out for a short 2 mile run the next evening, Sunday (which was recommended to me by some experienced long-distance runners).

Following that, I didn't run again until the next Saturday. This was also a morning run (although it was mid-morning after eating breakfast!), but it was only 2 miles again. We were out at Church Camp and I just didn't feel like being gone for very long. And added to that was knowing that I was hoping to attempt my 2nd 10K run on the Monday, two days later. I knew that I didn't want to over-tire my legs before that!

Well, the Monday came...and all day I was already telling myself that it was too windy to make it through an entire 10K. I would just do 5k, maybe 6k. I waited till early evening to head out, hoping that the wind would die down. It didn't. I was about 2 miles into my run (a 10K is equal to 6.2 miles for those of you who were wondering) when I had all but talked myself into stopping at 3 miles (5K). But before I knew what was happening, my feet took me in a different direction. The direction of my long route!!

Okay...this is it! My 2nd 10K, here we come! So I committed to it and really gave it my all. And you know what? Man, it was hard again! But I pushed myself like crazy -- and get this...I shaved multiple minutes off of my previous time. I went from 1:10:50 to...1:06:21!! That's 4.5 minutes faster than my previous time! I could not believe it!

Until I felt my sore legs again. Then I believed it!!

So there you have it. I have successfully completed two 10K runs already and my official 10K race is 2 weeks and 2 days away. I'm undecided if I will attempt another 10K run before the big day or not...but for sure another 8K run.

You know (side note here): I have realized something while training for this run. I don't enjoy long distance running. I really enjoy when I run 3 miles or less (maybe even 4 miles is okay). But longer than that and I just can't wait for it to be over. Earlier this summer, I had even considered the possibility of training for a 1/2 marathon next year (13.2 miles). But after running these 10K distances, I realize that I just don't want to.

It's not that I don't think I could do it, because I'm quite confident that with the right training, I most certainly could. But the desire isn't there. I never started running to turn into a marathon runner. I wanted it as a new form of exercise. A way to stay healthy, fit and lose weight (and inches). I have done all of that and then some, and that's enough for me. I like running for the enjoyment of it and not for training. Does that make sense? Anyway, so any and all aspirations of one day running a 1/2 marathon are pretty much in the past (and I say 'pretty much' because I have learned on many occasions to never say never...).

Also -- this coming Saturday (September 11th), I am actually participating in my first organized running event. Me and 9 of my neighbours are running in a fund-raising run for colon cancer -- on behalf of another one of our neighbours who is battling this disease. This run is only a 5K so it hasn't needed any training, but it will be great to get experience (and of course to raise awareness and funds for this type of cancer and support our friends).

So that's my update. I'll keep you posted with how the rest of my training goes -- and of course I'll fill you in on the big day (both of them!).

back and forth

2010-09-03T13:22:00.003-05:00

My scale greeted me this morning with another small loss -- 0.4 pounds, bringing my weight down to 141.6. And that's after enjoying a meal at McDonald's for supper last night (and only running 8 miles this week).

I'm going back and forth with what I want to do with reporting weekly weigh-in's. I know it's good for my motivation, to know that I am keeping myself accountable to my readers -- but on the other hand, sometimes I still feel too much pressure to have to report a loss each and every week.

I think I am going to do something in the middle. I have 3 more mini-goals that I want to reach before my journey is officially over. I want to hit a 70 pound weight loss (which is a mere 0.4 pounds away), and then I want to break out of the 140's (which is another 1.4 pounds) and then my final goal of a 75 pound weight loss (which is a total of 5.4 pounds from today's weight). I think I will only post my weigh-in's when I reach these goals and nothing in between. This way I still have the motivation factor -- 'cause I don't want to have to wait a month to post any of these results -- but the pressure might lessen a bit.

I also would LOVE to be at a point where I don't need to weigh myself every week (ahem...okay, every day...okay, okay, mutliple times a day), whether I'm reporting it to anyone or not. I really do hope to reach that point someday. But that's a mental thing that I will need to work on -- not a numbers goal that is more easily definable.

Please still check back on this blog though, because I plan on doing more updates on my 10K training (I should've done a post on this last week already, but I've been busy...) and other things health/exercise related. So don't forget about me!

another day, another weigh-in

2010-08-27T13:24:00.003-05:00

This past weekend was a camping weekend with the in-laws. Filled with s'mores, Pepsi and other snack food. The week was filled with falling back into old Pepsi habits -- as I think I consumed at least 1/2 a can (if not more) every single day. Oops!

My meals during the week consisted of a lot of pizza and tacos...another oops! I also welcomed (without any say) a monthly visitor. And I don't think I even ran a full 6 miles all week long.

I think you can all imagine what I would've seen on the scale this morning...

But you would be wrong! Yup, somehow with all those things considered, my scale felt the need to bless me with a loss this morning. I lost 0.4 pounds and am sitting at an even 142 pounds.

Oh -- and I think that I have finally come to a conclusion with what my ultimate weight loss goal will be. For real this time. Yes, I want to get into the 130's -- but 139.8 is just too close to that 140 line. So I thought I'd go for an even 75 pound weight loss which will put me at 136.2 pounds. That way I have a few pounds of 'wiggle room' to still remain the 130's. Any weight loss above and beyond that will be pure bonus.

That means I have 5.2 pounds left to go. I'm almost there...

weight watcher

2010-08-20T10:00:00.003-05:00

This week brought me down another 0.8 pounds. I am now a mere 2.6 pounds away from hitting my ultimate goal of getting into the 130's -- and only 1.2 pounds away from hitting 70 pounds of weight loss.

Some people have been wondering how I can possibly still be losing. It's smaller amounts, but it still appears to be happening on a pretty steady basis. Trust me, it often surprises me too!

But I think I know how I have been able to keep things under control this far into the process: I am a very strict 'weight watcher.' No, I have not actually joined Weight Watchers and no, I do not count points (or calories, or grams of fat or anything).

I literally just watch my weight very faithfully.

In December, I did a post where I confessed my addiction to the scale and how I felt it was getting to a very unhealthy point for me. Well...here's my next confession: I still weigh myself multiple times a day. The difference (in my opinion) is the reasoning & motivation behind it.

Last year when I was in the thick of my Biggest Loser competition, I was all about the numbers so that I could win. It was an obsession more than just a healthy lifestyle change. If I would step on the scale and see a disappointing number, it would completely stress me out and affect my mood for the entire day. It took 100% control of my emotions -- just ask my husband!

Now when I step on the scale, I use it to keep me in line with my food and exercise choices throughout the day. It's not like if I see a lower number than expected that I will go on a free-for-all eating binge or anything. Nor do I starve myself if I see a higher number than expected. But I do use it as a guide for a lot of my decisions.

For example, if I have plans to go to a fun evening get-together where I know there will be a lot of yummy evening snacks...I will weigh myself before I go to see what I will allow myself. If I am sitting at an okay spot for the week, I will allow myself to indulge just a wee bit. But if I am sitting higher than what I should be, I will be more strict to stick to a few veggies and pass on the chocolate and Pepsi.

I also use the scale to let me know if I need to do a little bit more movement in the evening before bedtime. Now that I have picked up my running again much more regularly, my at-home video work-outs have become pretty much extinct. But if I haven't been able to get out much during the week (due to hubby's out-of-town working stint this summer), I will do evening checks on the scale before putting the girls to bed. If the scale reflects that I need a bit of an extra calorie burn, I'll do stairs for a bit or a few segments of jumping jacks and jogging on the spot while watching TV.

Then there are times when I just have a plain ol' craving. My latest? Nacho cheese Doritos with salsa (drool...). Before I decide whether or not to give in to said craving, I check my weight. Sometimes the reflected number will give me the confidence that I can handle a small and controlled portion of the object of my desire...and other times, based on what the scale shows me, I need to find ways to keep busy and distract myself so that I stay away from the delicious snack that is calling my name.

The scale is also used just on my day-to-day meal choices. Do I allow myself an entire can of Pepsi with my taco salad? or do I split a can 3-ways with my girls? Do I have one scoop of ice cream with my family on 'make-your-own-sundae' night? or do I allow myself 2? Do I watch in envy as my family is sucking back slurpees on a rediculously hot summer afternoon? or do I join in the fun and the relief?

Now, you may still think I am obsessive and think that I am just coming up with excuses as to why this has turned from an unhealthy habit to simply a way of keeping myself on track with my numbers. Bottom line: What I see is what I get now. I refuse to let the numbers control my emotions -- but I do let it control a lot of my choices.

I have often thought about trying to go for a week without weighing myself. Afterall, I should be at a point where I have the balance of food intake and exercise all worked out. And maybe I do...but I'm not quite willing to risk it. Even a week of not checking the scale could suddenly result in a few pounds gain -- and I'm not prepared for that. Over summertime now, there have been a few times where I have gone an entire weekend without a scale while we've been away -- and that has been hard enough for me!

So, I will keep on doing what I have been doing. It's obviously working -- and I'm happy and relaxed at the same time.

try and make sense of THIS

2010-08-18T22:16:00.007-05:00

This post might confuse some of you -- heck, it even confuses me. But I'm going to do my best to explain my thoughts, although I don't know if I'll really do a good job of it. Here it goes:

Sometimes I wish I were 200+ pounds again.

See? I told you this would confuse some of you! Why on earth would anybody who just spent the past year and a bit working so hard to lose almost 70 pounds wish that they were overweight again?

The answer -- for me, anyway: Comfort.

When I was overweight, there was no pressure on me. That may sound backwards, but it's true. I wasn't overweight enough that people whispered and stared at me when they walked by. And I think I always dressed well enough to compliment my assets and to not draw attention to my...uh...larger size. So I feel like nobody ever looked at me with disappointment or disgust. I was free to be my size and that was that.

Nobody expected that anything was going to change for me. It just seemed to be taken for granted that this is how I was and always would be. My weight didn't draw attention to myself; I could sort of just fade into the background.

Now things are so much different.

I feel pressure every single day. I feel that I have become more the 'weight loss success story' and less 'just me.' I feel like I can hardly go anywhere without my dramatic weight loss being the center of conversation. I feel like every day I have to find just the right outfit -- the one that will live up to the expectations everyone now has of me; to look slim and fit. I feel like people are watching me to see if I can actually maintain this new weight, or if I will trip up and start gaining it back.

Don't get me wrong -- I love the compliments. They helped inspire and motivate me to keep going this entire time. I would be disappointed and hurt if I went through this whole big process and didn't get any recognition for it. So it's not like I want them to stop! And don't get me wrong -- I don't think the world revolves around me and my weight loss. But sometimes it all just feels a bit too much for me.

Of course I don't really want to gain all (or any, for that matter!) of my weight back. But sometimes I feel like I just want to put on my size 16 jeans, my extra-large sweatshirt and get back to that comfort zone.

Does that make ANY sense whatsoever??

10K running journal: part I

2010-08-13T10:55:00.004-05:00

As most of you may know, I am planning on running a 10K (6.2 mile) race at the end of September here in my small town. Not only is this a good opportunity for me to train and push myself, but it is in support of something very close to my heart.

A mother started this run 3 years ago in memory of her young adult son who took his own life due to depression/mood disorder (I would love to give you all the link for more information, but for security reasons for where I reside, I won't post it online. If you want more information, email me at andi{dot}andi{at}live{dot}ca and I can send it to you personally).

While I may not know anybody personally who has turned to suicide for their only way out -- I certainly do know first-hand the reality of depression and the effects it can have on not only the people suffering from it, but the people close to them. So it is with tremendous honour that I join this event in support and recognition of this cause.

You may remember back at the end of April, I was bound and determined to finally start (and complete) the Gateway to 8K program -- a follow-up program to my beloved Couch to 5K program, which got me started in my love of running to begin with. But after that post, I never blogged about it again.

It's not that I gave up. But rather I started running with other ladies from the street again, who tended to do a regular 3 mile route around town -- some running faster, some slower; some running longer intervals (i.e. 10 min running/1 min walking), some shorter intervals (i.e. 7 min running/1 min walking). I took advantage of this opportunity to run with friends again, and I found that I really enjoyed the motivation that came with running in a group again, rather than just on my own. It pushed me to try to keep up and not be the one they had to slow down for.

Little by little though, I ended up heading out on my own again. For awhile, I felt like I didn't quite fit into either of the natural groups that ended up forming. The 'faster' group was a bit too fast for me, but the 'slower' group was a touch too slow. Plus, with my husband's working hours, it didn't always work for me to head out with them. So I took to my solo-running again, but realized that I had gotten enough of a head start with the other gals to keep my motivation up.

I may not have been steadily working my way up to my 8K distance -- but I was regularly running 5K, and working at increasing my intervals and my overall pace.

Then, several weeks ago, I thought it was time that I treated myself to this beauty pictured to the left: The Garmin 305 Forerunner. Several of my running comrades owned one of these bad-boys already and raved about them. So I ordered myself one and do not know how I used to run without it!

It has a GPS in it, so it tracks exactly how far I run. It also tells me the amount of calories I've burned, how long I've run, what my pace is (fastest pace, current pace, average pace), and I can set it for intervals. So now I didn't have to constantly be looking at my watch for my 10 and 1 intervals -- I had a watch timing it out for me!

It comes with software too, so after every run I plug it into my computer and it loads the information of my run and lays everything out -- maps, graphs, a place for me to write notes about each run, etc. It is absolutely glorious and it was worth every penny.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago I finally decided it was time to seriously start my 10K training. I decided to use this program emailed to me by a friend (and experienced runner). However, since it is a 10 week program, and by the time I actually started my official training, there were only 8 weeks left until race day -- I started at Week 3.

I find, though, that it isn't working very well for me to accurately follow the program. This is mainly due to the fact that my husband has been working out of town during most of the weeks over summer, which leaves me stuck at home with the kids night after night, unable to 'hit the streets.' Added to this is the unpredictable prairie summer weather -- i.e. severe humidity and severe weather warnings -- and my running style is really getting cramped!

I have, however, learned to run in not-always-ideal weather circumstances. I don't use any slightly imperfect weather conditions as an excuse. I have learned to run in gusty winds, extreme heat & humidity, and rain. I do draw the line at lightning though!

Anyway, back to the running schedule for a moment. Starting off in Week#3 meant that I kicked off my training running a 6km distance (just under 4 miles). I had run 4 miles only twice before this -- and it had been awhile. It would seem like running just 1km more than my usual 5km wouldn't be so hard...but it still was a struggle. But I enjoyed pushing myself.

Week #4 kicked off with an 8km run. Yup, that's right. Eight entire kilometres (which translates into pretty much 5 miles). Not only did I attack this run with gusto -- but I did it in extreme heat, AND I did it at one of my fastest paces -- and I know this, of course, thanks to my fancy new watch. ;)

After I completed that 8km run, I felt on top of the world. My official run at the end of September is a 10km run, so to be able to run a full 8km already was pretty inspiring. Now at least I know that even if I don't get to follow the training schedule perfectly, I will undoubtedly be able to run my 10km. Because even after I finished my 8km run last weekend, I could have kept going if I had wanted to.

So that's sort of where I am at right now. I unofficially completed Week #4 of the training (and I say 'unofficially' since I didn't follow it 100%), and tomorrow begins Week #5, where my longest distance is once again 8km. The following week I will be tackling the entire 10km -- and past that, the schedule indicates that I will be running 11 -- and even up to 13 -- kilometres.

I will try and post somewhat regular updates -- not only for any curious readers, but also just for myself; a record of how I have done. So check back to see how I'm doing!

back in focus

2010-08-13T10:46:00.003-05:00

Well, after going UP from 144 to 144.8 last week -- I was just really hoping to not have to report 2 gains in a row. I'm okay with a little bit of weight fluctuation at this point, but certainly not with a consistent upwards journey.

So I can happily say that not only am I not reporting a gain, but actually a pretty significant loss (of course it's less significant after I subtract last week's gain). I dropped 1.6 pounds this week, bringing me all the way down to 143.2 pounds! That's only 0.2 pounds away from hitting what I originally thought was my healthy BMI range (you know...before I realized that I was actually an inch taller than I thought).

Of course that only translates to an overall loss of 0.8 pounds, when you figure in the 0.8 pound GAIN from last week -- but I am still very happy with it. Especially since my only focus was to maintain from last week and not worry about actually getting below last week.

Speaking about focus...I received some very good advice a few weeks back that I am trying very hard to put into practice. And that advice is to perhaps stop focusing so much on actual losses in numbers at this point -- and rather put more focus on just maintaining my healthy habits and my 10K training and the like. In other words: Stop obsessing about the numbers! Easier said than done with an overweight mentality like mine (it's always a constant nagging fear in my mind that I'm going to slowly start gaining it all back), but I'm sure gonna try!

it's been awhile

2010-08-07T15:16:00.004-05:00

Well, I need to report a gain this week. Unfortunately. I was up from 144 pounds to 144.8 this week, but I suppose it was bound to happen after the last several weeks of great losses that I had.

This week I started my hard-core training for my upcoming September 10K run I am participating in which feels good -- and has been getting me burning a lot more calories. But the downside to that is that running more often again -- and longer distances -- is making me more hungry when I get home!! I need to find a good balance for that.

I am planning on tracking my training progress for my 10K run on this blog, so check back for updates if you are interested. I hope to get started with these running reports in the next day or so.

Until then though, I'll just tell you that I ran 12 miles this week. Yay me!!

the final five...or is it??

2010-07-30T11:36:00.003-05:00

I'm almost starting to get weirded out with this weight loss thing. I dropped another 1.2 pounds this week -- which means I have lost 5.2 pounds of "the last 10 pounds" in only 4 short weeks. I thought this process of "the last 10 pounds" would be long and drawn-out and even discouraging at some points. I was anticipating this to take months and months -- with the possibility of never even quite reaching the finale.

So does this mean that these aren't really my last 10 pounds that my body is ready and willing to lose? Do I need to change my final and ultimate goal of 139.8 pounds to an even lower number? And how do I know what is the 'right' weight to shoot for?

I'm not just randomly spouting off these questions -- I actually would like answers! So if any of you have any input on this, please do tell.

I think part of the reason I did so well this week was because I was constantly going, going, going. And I mean c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y. Single parenting yet again, working 2 days, volunteering at our church's VBS program every evening...it was one thing to another all week long. I suppose when you're on the go that much, your body doesn't have a choice but to burn calories.

So here I sit -- at an even 144 pounds.

he loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...

2010-07-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

Did you know that since my dramatic weight loss, not a single day goes by without Les making at least one comment about it? I am constantly being told by him how beautiful and sexy I am and how proud he is of me for the changes I have made.

And I've had several people ask me if this bothers me.

And while that may seem like a silly question to some of you, I completely understand what they mean when they ask me that. They are simply wondering if that makes me feel like he didn't love me as much when I was heavier.

Well, let me tell you something about my dear hubby. He has always told me that I am beautiful. He has always looked at me like he ended up with the most beautiful woman in the world. Even when I didn't believe it myself, I knew that he really did.

So while the compliments about my new figure may be coming in a lot higher droves lately, it doesn't make me think for even a second that he didn't still find me attractive before.

Of course he finds me more attractive now -- that's only natural. And if he didn't compliment me more with the new way that I look, I think I would be hurt. Not to say that I did all of this for him -- because I believe in order to have true success at something like this, it has to be done primarily for yourself -- but I certainly did it for him to a certain extent.

I want my husband to be proud to have me on his arm. And while he never for one second has come across that he felt otherwise...for the first time, I actually believe it for myself too!

ummm...

2010-07-23T15:10:00.003-05:00

I have not had such a substantial weight loss in one week in a l-o-n-g time. And at this stage in the game, I truly am not even expecting one. But I got one.

2.4 pounds worth, believe it or not!

By Sunday afternoon I had run 9 miles already (from Friday evening), and even though I didn't get a chance to go out after that -- due to hubby working out of town -- I did keep myself really busy and was good with food for the most part.

I was still surprised (pleasantly, of course!) to see such low numbers, since at this point I've been telling myself I will be content with maintaining.

So for those of you keeping track (okay, it's probably just me...), I am now sitting comfortably at 145.2 pounds. I still have that 143 pound weight at the front of my mind though -- you know, the weight I thought I had to reach to be in my healthy BMI range when I thought I was 5'4" tall instead of really being 5'5" tall. Technically I reached my healthy BMI when I weighed in at 149.8 several weeks ago...but to me, I seem to feel like I still need to hit that 143 pound mark.

To be honest though...and this may sound strange...I'm not sure if I even want to lose any more weight. Tone up -- yes, definitely. But lose more weight -- I don't think I need to. The main reason for this, believe it or not, is my clothes! I spent so much time and money collecting a new wardrobe -- and some things are already getting too big on me. I'm not complaining -- afterall, it's a good problem to have -- but it's still somewhat of a problem for me. You know, since money doesn't grow on trees to constantly be buying new wardrobes.

I wouldn't complain if I hit the 130's, but I feel quite comfortable where I am sitting right now. Now the key will be to not get *too* comfortable where I start slacking off and gaining it all back! 'Cause all of my bigger clothes are out of my house, so I ain't spending money on a whole new wardrobe in a BIGGER size!!

tough love

2010-07-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

I get A LOT of emails from people struggling with weight loss since my successful journey. And I mean a lot. Some from people I know very well, some from people I am just somewhat acquainted with, and some from people who are complete strangers to me (who find me through my blog or from a mutual friend/family member).

They ask questions and they want advice. They want to know how I lost 60+ pounds and how they can do it too. They confide in me with their setbacks, their goals and wishes and their feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. And they also share with me their successes and triumphs.

And I feel very honoured and privileged that they would come to me with all of this.

One thing that seems to reign pretty popular among most of the struggles that I hear is, "I just wish I had the time." You know -- time to eat proper meals and especially time to exercise.

I try to be supportive, encouraging and understanding to these comments -- but I also feel that it is my duty to be honest and forth-coming. Afterall, they came to me for advice and my opinion right? So for all of you out there who are struggling with the whole time factor -- get ready for some tough love from Personal Trainer Andrea:

Stop using that as an excuse!

Seriously -- that's all it is. Just another excuse. I'm not saying we all have time for an hour or two at a gym every night. All I'm asking for is 20-30 minutes a day. And who can not fit that in? Do you spend a minimum of 30 minutes a day on the computer? Watching TV? Reading a book? I'm betting that there isn't a single person in this day and age who doesn't have an extra 30 minutes to spare for the benefit of their own health.

And I don't mean 'extra' as in AFTER you have frittered away your time on the TV/computer. Or AFTER you have lounged on the deck engrossed in a good book. If you are serious about wanting to lose weight, you have to make it a top priority.

I'm not saying you need to exercise BEFORE you indulge in any of your relaxation habits. But if you have time for those frivolous luxuries, then you have no excuse to not have time for a 30 minute daily work-out.

And stop waiting for the 'perfect' time to start this getting healthy thing hard-core. You will always have something that will get in the way. Either you're getting ready to move, or you have a big party to plan. Maybe you're starting a new job or you have your hands full with a very active 2-year-old.

I don't care.

Getting into shape -- and losing weight -- takes hard work and discipline. And if you're not willing to put in the time, I can't help you. I don't have a magic wand that I can wave in your face and melt off 25 pounds. It didn't happen that way for me, and it ain't gonna work that way for you. It may require you giving up some precious afternoon quiet time while your toddler is napping. Or you may have to set your alarm 30 minutes earlier in the morning. You might have to put off your evening TV-watching from 8:00 to 9:00 in order to fit it in. You may even have to pay a babysitter from time to time.

Another excuse that often seems to go hand-in-hand with the 'no time' one is: "I don't enjoy exercising."

And again, I say: I don't care.

Sure, it would be fantastic if we could all eat what we want and not do anything to counter-balance it while still maintaining good health and a fabulous figure. But how's that working out for you? You say you don't enjoy exercising -- but you are also not enjoying being unhealthy and overweight. So something's gotta give. Either you continue to drown in your helplessness and be unhappy -- or you try something new -- like it or not -- and shed a few pounds and feel better about yourself.

There are so many different ways to get a work-out in, I venture to say that everybody can find something that they can at least semi-enjoy. Take a kick-boxing class. Try the Couch to 5K running program (you know it's a favorite of mine!). Sign up for a fun dance class. Start a walking group (ahem...power walking, that is) with some neighbors. Try aqua-sizing. Even if all you do are jumping jacks, jogging on the spot, sit-ups/push-ups during TV commercial breaks...just. do. SOMETHING.

So get up off the couch and stop giving yourself excuses. The only thing you have to lose is...weight!

never say never

2010-07-16T11:46:00.003-05:00

This week was tough. And I mean r-e-a-l-l-y tough. If you recall, last Friday my weight had dropped 1.4 pounds to hit 147.8 -- and by Monday morning (even after a weekend of carrot cake with DOUBLE cream cheese icing), I was only 148.2. That's only a 0.4 pound weight gain over a weekend. Not bad.

However...it seems like my bad weekend habits (and the time of the month) didn't quite catch up to me until Monday & Tuesday. On Tuesday evening I was horrified to see the scale had crept all the way up to 152.4. That's almost FIVE POUNDS heavier than Friday morning. Heck, almost 5 pounds heavier than what I was on Sunday morning for Pete's sake!

And yes, I know I'm always heavier in the evening -- but I had gotten my morning weight to the point where I should be able to always be under 150 pounds now, no matter what time of the day. So to see that awful number was not a good feeling.

But -- never say never! I never once decided to just throw in the towel for this week. It was never an option for me to just say "Ah, screw it! I'll just start over again next week." I was bummed about what the scale was showing me, but I didn't let it negatively affect the choices that I made for the rest of the week.

And this morning I can still report a loss! A minimal one -- 0.2 pounds -- but it's still a loss. So my current weight is 147.6. Yay me!

This weekend there will be no carrot cake...BUT -- I will have Saturday & Sunday all to myself (hubby is taking the kiddos camping) and that could prove to be even more dangerous than a pan of carrot cake!!

huh. i guess i'm not quite finished yet.

2010-07-09T15:42:00.002-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I had said that I might start only reporting my weigh-in's on the first Friday of the month. That would've been last Friday, meaning that now I would wait until the first Friday in August.

However, my body seems to be telling me that was a pre-mature decision and that I should stick with my weekly reports. Are you wondering how I know that?

'Cause I lost 1.4 pounds this week, that's why!!

Yup, that's right. I went from 149.2 from last Friday down to 147.8 this morning!! Even after having only ran 6 miles this week and doing only one yoga at-home video. But I was really good with portion controls and next-to-no snacking to make up for it.

But on the menu this weekend? Carrot cake -- with DOUBLE cream cheese icing (to welcome back the hubby after he was working out of town all week). That could spell t-r-o-u-b-l-e....

it's all fun...and games

2010-07-05T20:08:00.003-05:00

My weight loss journey this past year has been quite a ride. And most of it was up's with very few down's (unless you're counting the numbers on the scale -- then it was a lot of down's!!).

But it's not just all fun. And I don't mean just the hard work to get these results -- of course that part isn't always fun, not even close. But even my results...Let me try to explain what I'm getting at here.

People always make comments to me like, "You must feel so good now" or "I bet you feel just incredible" or "How fun to have a whole new wardrobe." And yes, I do feel good. And incredible. And all of that shopping in a much smaller size was a lot of fun.

So yes, it's all fun...and games.

I'm talking about mind games. I'm talking about the psychological part of a previously overweight person. There's a lot of baggage that such a person carries around with them -- even when that 'baggage' is no longer physical. There's mental baggage that comes with the package.

See, there's a part of me (a quite substantial part of me, believe it or not) that still looks in the mirror and sees an overweight person looking back at her. I can look at all of the numbers. The facts. I can see on the scale that my weight is no longer 200+ pounds; that it is now under 150 pounds. And I can see on my BMI chart that I am now officially in my healthy weight range for my height.

But it usually isn't until I can see a side-by-side before & after picture of myself that I can really see the difference. My mind likes to fool myself into believing that it isn't possible that I could've changed this much. That it's all a fantasy and I'm making it all up. That I will always be overweight. Looking in the mirror isn't enough for me -- I need to see physical proof that I have actually come as far as I think I have.

And that is why I post so many before & after pictures of myself. Like the two that I am going to reveal to you today. They're not pretty, I'll warn you of that right away (well, the before pics aren't anyway). But I need these to actually convince myself that I truly am no longer overweight.

These before pictures were taken two years ago (August 2008) -- right before I realized that I had hit 200 pounds for the first time. And the after pictures were taken a few weeks ago (June 2010).

(When I made this next before & after collage, I actually was near tears when I realized just how big I had gotten...and was so overwhelmed with the fact that Les actually not only loved me then, but thought I was beautiful. He deserved so much better than having a wife looking like that...)

And this final before & after: The Before picture was taken August 2009 (after already having lost about 20 pounds) and the After picture was taken just a few days ago, July 2010.

**This post isn't to try and get sympathy comments, or more praise for how much progress I have made. It is just to try to explain my feelings; some things people who have never been overweight may not understand.**

well, whaddya' know?

2010-07-02T22:41:00.002-05:00

I had a loss this week!!

A small loss of 0.6 pounds -- but at this stage, that's actually a pretty big loss. It came at a really good time too, 'cause I was starting to think that hovering just under the 150 pound mark was going to soon turn into hovering just above the 150 pound mark. And who knows where that would've taken me...but it was starting to discourage me.

But I'm glad that I now have a wee bit more wiggle room as I now weigh 149.2 pounds. I am closer to 148 than I am to 150 and I feel like that just gives me a little bit more motivation. A little bit more confidence that I can actually still see the scale move in the right direction.

My goal right now is to get to a point in the 140's where no matter what time of the day I weigh myself, I am always in the 140's. Up until now, before I go to bed my weight has always still been in the 150's. I don't want to see that middle digit 5 ever again.

Of course having my middle digit be a 3 would be a dream come true -- but I just don't know if that's realistic. Well, I know that I could do it -- but I also know what I would have to do to get it to that point. And in my mind, it's not worth it.

I would have to run every single day no matter the time of night or the weather conditions. I would have to say no to enjoying a slurpee with my family on a scorching hot summer day. I would have to deprive myself of any form of treat. And then what?

I would reach my goal of being in the 130's and then go back to my current habits (which are pretty darned good already, I must say) which would only bring me back into the 140's. The way I choose to lose my weight is the way I need to choose to maintain my weight. It's as simple as that.

I can use drastic measures to lose another 10 pounds -- but then I need to keep up those drastic measures to keep off those 10 pounds. And that's not how I've been able to keep up my success over this past year, so why would I start that now?

No, I will just keep plugging along as I have been thus far. And I will keep celebrating with any loss that gets reflected on the scale, no matter how small. And I will continue to enjoy special treats in moderation with my family. And I will carry on with my running and other work-outs to keep my body strong and healthy.

It's worked for me so far!

maintaining

2010-06-25T10:27:00.005-05:00

Well, I weighed in again at 149.8 this morning for the 3rd Friday in a row. And I tell ya -- I'll happily take that! Of course I would've liked a loss, but even though I ran another 9 miles this week, I didn't do any at-home work outs AND I had Pepsi in the middle of the week (*gasp*) and the other evening I actually ate a chocolate chip cookie. Two hours after supper. That's almost unheard of around here (not eating a cookie -- but eating in the middle of the evening).

So I'm at a zero loss.

Sure, I'm in a bit of a slump. But I figure it's only natural after losing so much weight. Besides, now that I have reached the latest 2 big milestones (getting into the 140's and hitting my healthy BMI) and now that I have been weighing in for one year -- I gotta say, I'm ready for a bit of a break!

I'm debating about only weighing in on this blog the first Friday of the month. First of all -- with the weight loss being much slower these days, there's likely not going to be a lot to report week to week. And secondly, like I said, I need a break!

I'll still weigh myself on a regular basis (daily, in fact -- just to keep on top of things), but I just won't report it every week. At least that's the current thought I am entertaining. If I find myself slacking off too much doing it this way, I'll make the switch again very rapidly. But I might give it a go.

That would mean that I will still report my weigh-in next Friday, as it will be the first Friday of July and then not again until the beginning of August.

Make sure you still check the blog in between though. If I reach a new milestone I'll be sure to report it right away. Besides, I have a few other posts floating around in my mind -- and some new Before & After pictures -- that you won't want to miss!

let's talk numbers -- part II

2010-06-18T10:19:00.002-05:00

Happy Anniversary to me!
Happy Anniversary to me!
Happy Anniversary, dear Andrea...
Happy Anniversary to ME!!

Well, the day is here...it has been a whole year of Friday's -- 52 of them -- since I started my real and official weight loss journey. I have reported on this blog every single week my ups and downs all along the way. And I wanted to share a few of those numbers with you.

But before I do, I want to get my final weigh-in out of the way. By 'final' I don't mean that I won't be weighing in any more, but it is my final weigh-in of this past year. As you probably recall, last week was a HUGE week for me. Not only did I finally break into the 140's, but I also realized that I had f-i-n-a-l-l-y brought myself into my healthy BMI range (some of you who only check this blog on Fridays may have missed that post...)!!

But both of those milestones were just barely. I was only sitting 0.2 pounds below 150, and that was also exactly the weight I needed to be for my healthy BMI. So I had a bit of pressure this week. Any gain, no matter how miniscule, would put me back in the 150's and officially back in the 'overweight' category. Only barely, of course, but I still wanted to avoid it at all costs. Especially being my 'anniversary' weigh-in.

But along with the pressure this brought me, I also had my time of the month to deal with. Not a good combination! I worked hard during the week though -- made good food choices (after the weekend, that is...), ran 10 miles and did a few at-home work outs too. By yesterday evening I realized that no matter what the scale reflected in the morning, I was happy with myself. I had no regrets and I went to bed last night feeling confident in myself.

I woke up this morning and just barely squeezed out the same number as last Friday -- 149.8. Phew! That was close! Of course it would've been fantastic to have ended my year off with a loss of any kind, but this week all I was really aiming for was to maintain.

It is a bit discouraging that at this point it takes so much hard work to just stay the same weight. In the past, with doing less work than this I would've pounded off 2-3 pounds in a week. But I guess that's why they say the last 10 pounds are the hardest to lose!

Anyway, now on to some numbers from the past year. I also did a stats post back in October in case you're interested in a re-cap.

Some stats stay the same from October -- like my biggest weekly loss being 4.6 pounds (which happened twice, both times in August 2009.

As for my 5 pound milestones, I ended off in October with a 30 pound loss by Week #17. Here are the rest of my milestones:

Week #22 I had hit 35 pounds
Week #24 I had hit 40 pounds
Week #30 I had hit 45 pounds (on my 31st birthday!!)
Week #36 I had hit the BIG 50 POUND milestone
Week #40 I had hit 55 pounds
Week #50 I had hit 60 pounds

There were only FOUR Fridays where I had to report a gain of any kind.
Week #8 was a 1 pound gain
Week #15 was a 0.4 pound gain
Week #37 was a 0.4 pound gain
Week #41 was a 0.2 pound gain
That makes for a total of 2 pounds weight gain over the course of the past year.

There were also only THREE Fridays where I had a zero gain or loss. They were week#42, 43 and today -- week #52.

Which means that all of the other Fridays -- 45 of them! -- I was able to report a loss.

My average loss per week was 1.2 pounds.

My total weight loss is 61.4 pounds.
My total percentage of weight loss is 29%.

As for my measurements:
I lost just under 8" on my waist
I lost 4.5" on my bust -- Les is still not happy about this one... :)
I lost 5" on each of my thighs
I lost 2" on each of my arms

And as for my pants size -- I started off on this journey barely being able to squeeze into my size 16's. I now fit very comfortably in a size 8.

My goal is to be a size 6 and weigh somewhere in the 130's.

And those are the numbers, folks.

a new 'measure' of success

2010-06-15T16:33:00.003-05:00

I love hitting a new milestone. You know what's even better? When you hit a milestone 5 pounds earlier than expected!! I'll explain...

As you all probably know, I have been wanting to get into my healthy BMI range. It spits out a body fat measurement dependent on your height & weight information that you plunk into the chart. By this measurement, it tells you whether you are obese, overweight, healthy or underweight.

However...I have been using the wrong height! It has recently been discovered that I am taller than I thought I was -- go figure! Instead of measuring at 5'4" like I have been thinking I am, it turns out that I am actually 5'5". This was discovered after a girlfriend of mine were talking heights and we both said that we were 5'4" -- except one of us was noticeably taller/shorter than the other! This prompted us to both go home and get ourselves measured.

She was right. I was wrong.

Now, this works in my favour. How, you ask? Well, the shorter you are the lower your weight needs to be to get into that healthy category. Makes sense. So here is the difference this one inch of height makes to me.

Originally when I started -- weighing in at 211.2 pounds (ugh...it still pains me to say that!) at my assumed height of 5'4", my BMI was 36.2 -- WAY in the obese category (anything 30+ is considered obese).

With my corrected height of 5'5", my starting BMI was still obese, but it changed to 35.1.

My target weight to get to the highest range of my healthy BMI was 143 pounds -- which now I'm not even sure how I came up with that number, because even with my incorrect height, my goal weight should've been 145.2. Anyway, that weight would've officially put me into the healthy category. So I figured to still be about 6 pounds away from that.

However...drumroll please...measuring in at 5'5" tall with a weight of 149.8 pounds from last Friday's weigh-in puts me e-x-a-c-t-l-y at a 24.9 BMI. Which, in case you were wondering, is my healthy range for my height!

So not only did I break out of the 150's last week -- I also hit my healthy target range! Now, of course this is at the very highest end of my healthy range, so I don't need to get complacent and stop there. I don't want to stop at the minimum weight. But it is reassuring to know that not only am I not obese anymore, I'm not even considered overweight anymore!!!

Exciting hey? It even made today's paper...

let's talk numbers

2010-06-11T10:05:00.005-05:00

This is the week I have been looking forward to -- and dreading, all at the same time. It means I have reached a certain milestone, but it also means that I am going to be revealing my actual weight numbers...gulp! I was tempted to wait until next week, since that officially marks my 1 year anniversary of this whole weight loss business, but since I hit a pretty cool milestone this morning -- the one I said I would reveal my weight if I hit it -- I'm going to do this today. I'm going to start off with some background information, so bear with me.

As a teenager, I always thought I was overweight but never really did anything about it. I wasn't massive by any means, just heavier than what I would like. I actually called my doctor's office this morning to get some actual numbers because I was curious. When I was 12 years old, I weighed 114 pounds. And the next weight they had for me was three years later at the age of 15 years old -- where I weighed 155 pounds. Yikes! That's a 41 pound gain in just 3 years!! So at an average of approximately 13.5 pounds put on each year, I estimate that I was 127.5 pounds at age 13, 141 pounds at age 14, bringing me to 155 pounds at age 15.

Thankfully this trend didn't continue much past that, and by the time I got married at the age of 22 I was about 165 pounds. Not fantastic, but nothing I was really overly concerned about either.

However...just over a year after we were married and I got pregnant with Joelle, my weight had already climbed to 180 pounds. I gained 26 pounds in my first pregnancy, bringing my weight up to 206 pounds. Ugh. Hitting that 200 pound mark was not a fun experience. Thankfully I lost all of my baby weight within a few weeks of Joelle being born, bringing me right back to 180 pounds.

After losing that weight though, I very quickly packed on another 10 pounds between October and December of that year (2003). I knew that I wanted to get pregnant again in about a year's time from that point, so I dedicated myself to getting back to 180 before getting pregnant again. I worked at it for a year, and very slowly I started losing weight. It took me the entire year of 2004 to shed 15 pounds, which brought me 5 pounds lighter than I was before getting pregnant with Joelle.

So my pre-pregnancy weight with Malia was 175 pounds and I topped the scale at 203 pounds during my pregnancy. Again, I was fortunate to lose most of that weight fairly quickly -- although I don't think I ever dipped below 180 again. Over the next couple of years, I started very slowly putting on a bit more weight yet again.

At the end of Summer 2008, I was appauled to realize that I weighed 200 pounds -- NOT being pregnant. This was just not an option for me, and over the next 2 weeks I did what I had to do to lose 10 pounds. Phew! Out of the 200's and never going back! I was planning on continuing what I was doing to keep losing weight, but then a lot of changes happened that threw me off-balance. Les lost his job and started a new one within a few days -- but this new job meant LONG days away from home, leaving me to pretty much single-mom it 90% of the time. At the same time, Joelle started kindergarten. So my world felt completely different, and I guess with all of the changes, I abandoned my 'get healthy' methods.

In combination with all of this, I was also on anti-depressant medication for about a year and a half (starting about 6 months before Les' job change). One of the side effects of this particular drug that I was on was weight gain. Great. In that year and a half that I was on those meds, I gained about 25 pounds. It wasn't all due to the meds though, as I have had to come clean about. I liked to blame it on that, but I knew that I also wasn't doing anything to counter-balance that particular side effect.

It was at this time -- a year and a half after being on meds -- June 2009, when I finally told myself enough was enough! That's when I put together my local Biggest Loser competition and decided that once and for all I was going to shed this weight and get healthy.

On June 19, 2009 I had my official weigh-in for the competition. I was at my all-time heaviest weight -- even higher than being 9 months pregnant with either of my children. Here it is, there's no going back now: I was 211.2 pounds.

This "Before" picture that I've been using all throughout this year was taken at my cousin's wedding just 2 weeks before that official weigh-in. So while I don't know the *exact* weight of that picture, it's a pretty accurate representation of how I look at 211.2 pounds. Not good.

Thankfully my "After" picture is almost enough to rid myself of the shame and embarrassment of letting myself get as big as I did. Almost.

However, as ashamed as I am of my "Before" weight, I am more proud of my "After" weight. You are probably already doing the math in your head, but before I officially reveal my current weight, here are the details from throughout this past year:

At the end of Biggest Loser Round I (which ran from June 19 - September 18 2009), I had gone from 211.2 pounds to 187.2 pounds -- a loss of 24 pounds.

At the end of Biggest Loser Round II (which ran from September 19 - December 11 2009), I had gone from 187.2 pounds to 169 pounds -- a loss of 18.2 pounds.

From December 11 2009 - March 12 2010 (another 3 month increment), I had gone from 169 pounds to 158.2 pounds -- a loss of 10.8 pounds.

And from March 12 - June 11 2010 (today; another 3 month increment), I have gone from 158.2 pounds to...

Yes, you read that right. I currently weigh 149.8 pounds (which means I had a 0.8 pound loss this week, as last week I was 150.6)!! I have hit the 140's. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that in one year (less one week) I could go from weighing 211.2 pounds to 149.8 pounds. That's a 61.4 pound weight loss!! Which translates into a 29.1% loss. I have not been in the 140's since I was 14 years old!!

So am I at my goal weight, you might ask? I get asked that all the time, but my goal keeps changing as time goes on. I wonder when I will actually be happy with my weight. Time will tell, I suppose. It's hard to not keep pushing to the next goal. Originally I wanted to be 143 pounds -- as that would finally put me in the healthy range for my BMI (Body Mass Index). I'm not quite there yet, but if I can hit 143, why can't I shed another 3.2 pounds to get into the 130's? And if I can get to 139.8...why not 5 more pounds to sit nicely at 135? See where I'm going with this??

I do think though, that now that I am in the 140's I will be content. What I mean by 'content' is that if I do end up staying here, I would be okay with that. If I stay out of the 150's. But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to continue to eat well and keep active in the hopes of shedding another 10 pounds.

Thanks for coming on this weight loss journey with me. All of your support and encouragement has sure helped me over this past year. Next week is my official 'one year anniversary' weigh-in, and after that I will see if I will continue to post my weekly results or what will become of this blog.

i see fireworks

2010-06-04T09:09:00.004-05:00

Well, there were 2 different milestones -- 1.4 pounds apart -- that I was striving to reach this week. I fell slightly short of the second milestone, but I reached (and even surpassed) this one:

I worked really hard this week at better food choices, I ran close to 9 miles, AND after slacking off with at-home video work outs in the last few weeks, I did two of them. Still room for improvement in that area, but overall I was pleased with the effort I put in.

Afterall, it resulted in a 1.2 pound loss this week. And at this point, when reaching one pound in a week is a huge accomplishment, anything above and beyond that is definitely worth celebrating.

Especially when it means that I have officially lost 60.6 pounds in just under a year!!

The other milestone that I was hoping (unrealistically) to reach would've been another 0.8 pounds away...but it would've put me in yet another middle digit number. So I have to wait at least another week, maybe more. It won't be surprising for me to have a couple of really small losses in the next couple of weeks -- but ultimately, my goal is to reach that new middle digit by Friday June 18th's weigh-in -- which will be one year less a day since I started my official weight loss journey (you know...the one that I actually stuck with and had success with).

good news/bad news

2010-05-28T09:30:00.002-05:00

The good news is that I can report another loss this week -- 0.8 pounds.

The bad news is that by Monday morning I was already down 1 pound. Yes, you read that right -- I actually lost weight over the weekend. So why is that bad news? Because it means that I gained weight during the week (even though it was very minimal).

I'm really not quite sure how things happened so backwards this week. No matter what my Monday morning weight is (although 99% of the time it's higher than Friday), I only go lower after that; not higher.

Well, okay...I may not know how I managed to lose the 1 pound over the weekend...but I suppose the reason for me slightly decreasing that loss is because I felt like I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off all week. This translated into quicker, easier meals (like hot dogs, chicken fingers and...gulp...McDonald's!) and left little to no time for exercising. I did make sure to control my food portions, and I did make it out for one 2 mile run during the week...but other than that, not much effort was put into a loss this week.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm happy with 0.8 pounds. But knowing that I kick-started the week with a 1 pound loss...having to report less than that leaves me slightly disappointed.

But now I am 0.6 pounds away from hitting the 60 pound milestone. And I am only 2 pounds away from hitting yet another middle digit milestone. And maybe -- just maybe -- when I hit that new middle digit, I'll reveal my before & after weight. Maybe.

i'm chipping away at it

2010-05-21T10:42:00.002-05:00

Despite several obstacles being thrown in my way this week, I did manage to lose again this week -- that's 3 weeks in a row!! I did think, as of yesterday, that I was on track to have at least a 1lb loss, but this morning's scale only showed 0.6 pounds. I'll still take it, but I was slightly disappointed.

Now I am 1.4 pounds away from hitting the 60 pound mark!! I am hoping to hit it before June 19th, which is exactly a year since I started my weight loss journey. I'm not really pressuring myself to do it, it would just be nice to have that round number within one year.

However, with this time of the year upon us -- i.e. slurpee season!! -- anything can happen. It's all about continued dedication and hard work!

This week I ran about 6 miles, which is probably more than what I have run in any given week since the end of last summer. So I'm sure that had a hand in my loss this week. I started running with some other ladies from the street again (I've been a solo runner ever since last July), and I have actually really been enjoying it now. It gives me that extra push to pick up my pace and to not turn around and come home earlier than I know I should. I'm hoping to continue running with them 2-3 times a week and see where that takes me.

Long weekend ahead of us now...that means one extra day of weekend habits. Could be dangerous!!

short & sweet

2010-05-14T08:48:00.004-05:00

My weekend last weekend consisted of McDonald's chicken burger, fries, coke, a sundae, dessert, dessert, dessert, chips, pop, KFC chicken, fries AND gravy...more pop, a slurpee, more chips and an apple pie (well, not a WHOLE apple pie...just a hot pie from McDonald's). On top of all of this BAD eating was very minimal movement.

Ugh.

We went to visit family 6 hours north of our place, thus explaining the fast food on the drive there and back. And all of the snacking -- WHY do I always feel like I need to eat, eat, eat when I am going on a long drive? These weekend plans also accounted for the delicious desserts that our lovely hostess whipped up for our visit...not to mention all of the meals.

So needless to say, I was expecting to have to work off of MASSIVE gain upon coming back home. Surprisingly, my weekend gain was only 2.2 pounds, which is about half of what I was expecting. So I once again dug my heels in during the week to work that all off, and I came out 0.2 pounds ahead!

Total weight loss thus far: an even 58 pounds! Total weight still needed to lose to reach my ultimate goal: 15 pounds.

kickin' some plateau butt

2010-05-07T10:15:00.001-05:00

I'm down 1.2 pounds this week. Take *that*, plateau.

I knew my body still had the capability to lose weight (more than 0.2 pounds in a month). I just had to prove it to myself.

a loss is a loss is a loss...right?

2010-04-30T10:15:00.004-05:00

At the rate I'm going, I'll be 60 years old before I finally reach my goal weight. Okay, maybe that's e-x-a-g-g-e-r-a-t-i-n-g just slightly. Let's see...with another puny 0.2 pound loss this week, that brings me to a grand total of 0.2 pounds in the past 5 weeks.

That's peanuts.

If I continue at this pace -- losing 0.2 pounds every 5 weeks -- it will take me 25 weeks to lose one pound. That translates into 2 pounds a year. And if I have 12 pounds left to my MINIMAL goal...it will take me 6 years.

Huh.

Okay, okay...that's not really a likely scenario. But on a day like today it really feels like it. I feel like in the past two weeks I have really picked things up again. Cut back on my afternoon & evening snacking, exercised more...and what has it gotten me? A loss of 0.4 pounds in those combined two weeks (which I only consider a 0.2 pound loss overall, since the first 0.2 pounds were recovering from a 0.2 pound GAIN from a few weeks ago).

I go back and forth on this whole thing. Part of me tries to convince myself that it is okay. That I really just need to concentrate on maintaining right now. But another part of me -- the bigger part -- tells me that's just a cop-out. It's an excuse to allow myself to become lazy. Because I know that I can pound off those last 12-15 pounds. It's definitely not beyond my body's capabilities.

It's certainly harder to lose weight at this stage though. It used to be that with the way I handled my current week, I would've shed 1 or 2 entire pounds. None of this measly 0.2 business! But just because it's harder, it doesn't mean that I don't need to do it. I have to lose exactly 11.4 pounds to get into the highest range of my healthy BMI -- hence why the 12 pounds I mentioned earlier is my minimal goal. But if I would lose 14.6 pounds from where I am at today, it would bring me into a middle digit that I would never have thought possible. I think that is my ultimate goal -- although of course I first need to strive towards my 'minimal' goal.

I sure hope that next week I can report an entire pound of weight loss...but until then, I suppose even a 0.2 pound loss is a loss. Even if it doesn't feel like it.

flying out of the gate!

2010-04-28T09:51:00.003-05:00

Since I started running this spring again -- after a long winter drought -- I've been sort of flying by the seat of my pants. I have no set amount of evenings to run and no set distances. I run if Les is home in time in the evening, and if weather conditions are perfectly suited to me, and if I can't come up with any legitimate excuse to stay home. Yup, you could say I've been a bit of a slacker.

And even on nights when I do actually get myself out there -- which is anywhere from 1-3 times a week -- I don't push myself the way I know that I should. I go with good intentions to "make this one a good one" but depending on how my run is going, I determine when I will turn around and go home. For those of you who are runners you know that some days are better runs than others. One night you can run 5K and feel like you could keep on going. Other nights you are feeling it after 1 or 2 km's already. There's not neccesarily any rhyme or reason to it; some days you just feel 'off.' So if I was having an 'off' day, I would turn around early. And if I was feeling good, I'd do my regular slightly longer route. But no further.

I was never pushing myself. I just always did what I felt like I could easily handle. Pffft! What ever happened to the attitude I had while doing the Couch to 5K program? I looked back at an older post from when I just completed the program and this is what I read:

It wasn't easy, that's for sure. But I didn't give up, nor did I let myself even start to give excuses for not running on any particular evening. I ran the scheduled 3 evenings every single week (sometimes even 4) no matter what. I ran if it was scorching hot. I ran if it was terribly windy. I ran if it was raining (although thankfully it only really rained on one of my runs, and it was a pretty light rain). I ran when I thought I had absolutely zero energy. I ran right after getting home from a weekend of camping. I ran throughout all of my medication issues.

Yup...when I did the Couch to 5K program last summer (you can read all about my experience here), I pushed myself each and every run and every night when I came back home from my outing I felt nothing but pride in my accomplishments. Bottom line: There were no excuses. I signed up to do this program, and nothing was going to stop me from completing it. Nothing.

So I knew that I needed to give myself a new goal. Something concrete that I can stick with. No more of this "we'll-see-how-I-feel-tonight" garbage. So last night I officially started the Gateway to 8K program. This program runs for 10 weeks and the first week starts off with 7 and 1 intervals. Running for 7 minutes, walking for 1 minute, doing this cycle 4 times. (I decided this time to do it to my own music instead of the podcast I downloaded last time. The music was annoying, although it was handy just running until I heard the tone telling me it was time to walk. Now I need to look at my watch a lot more -- but it's worth it to be able to listen to whatever music I want.)

Anyway, so I headed out last night in good spirits, ready to start this new running journey. I was looking forward to the feeling I would have when I came back home, knowing that I was on my way to my newest goal. It didn't hurt that it was the absolute perfect night weather-wise for this maiden voyage.

And you know what? I enjoyed every single second of it! I enjoyed the fact that I pushed myself farther than I have since my last Couch to 5K run last September. I enjoyed the extra sweat I was feeling, I enjoyed the rubbery feeling in my legs again. I enjoyed the entire experience -- and I definitely enjoyed the feeling of pride and accomplishment that I felt when I arrived back home.

And I'm already looking forward to getting out the next time (although with the crazy rain in the forecast over the next several days -- starting tonight -- time will tell when exactly that 'next time' will be!). When my mind is made up about something, good luck stopping me! That's why I needed to buck up and just go for it. It was definitely time I did something about it.

slow & steady might win the race...

2010-04-23T09:19:00.003-05:00

...but what does completely stuck in a rut get you?

As of this morning, I am the same weight I was exactly a month ago. The Friday I left for my girl's weekend. That weekend I was away I put on 0.2 pounds and then held at that weight for a few weeks. This week I managed to re-lose that 0.2 pounds, bringing me officially back down to my 56.4 pound total loss.

Wow. What a boring month. I haven't held steady at one weight for so long before; it's a little discouraging. Perhaps I've unintentionally (or subconsciously?) mastered the art of maintaining.

It's actually been a rough couple of weeks for me, motivation-wise. I feel great, I look great -- people keep telling me I look great. It's so easy to just tell myself that I've done enough. That now I can stop with the losing and just concentrate on keeping these 56.4 pounds off. People are using words like tiny...skinny...small...and are associating those words with ME. Yup, for the first time in my life, those words are being used to describe me. You have no idea how wonderful that feels.

But I can't let that trick me into thinking I can take it easy now. I can't start abandoning my work-out regime -- or my '1-10 method' (i.e. If a dessert isn't in the 8, 9 or 10 out of 10 range on my personal 'How much I love it' scale then I won't have it). I can't keep telling myself that I've done so well that now I can have slurpees whenever I feel like it. Or that now I can start eating before bed again.

But I have definitely noticed that some of these things are starting to creep back into my habits over the last few weeks and I need to put the kai-bosh on that pretty quickly! And for the last several days I did. To be honest, I was actually surprised that I didn't have a 1 pound loss this week. Yes, it was hard but I thought I did a good job of nipping things in the bud and I was genuinely expecting to have a bigger success on the scale this morning.

Maybe next week will be the week I can break out of this funk. Or maybe my body is really just plauteuing -- for the first time since starting this journey 10 months ago. It's really quite incredible that I haven't had more than 2 week 'plateau' on this entire journey up until now. So I should just suck it up, put things back into high-gear and see where this next week takes me.

(And get rid of those blasted mini-eggs that are still tempting me on a daily basis!)

sittin' pretty

2010-04-16T08:25:00.002-05:00

Perhaps it's because there has been one weekend after another of special celebrations (i.e. girl's shopping weekend, Easter, a friend visiting from out of town).

Perhaps it's because in between those weekends there were/are other seasonal temptations in my way (i.e. those darned mini-eggs, and Les' birthday -- which of course means carrot cake...with DOUBLE cream cheese icing, as per the birthday boy's request!).

Perhaps it's because I have been fighting a cold, which thankfully hasn't caused me too much pain or discomfort, but it has really dragged me down energy-wise.

Perhaps it's because I just feel really good with where I am at.

Likely it's a combination of all of the above -- but either way, I am once again at the exact same weight I was last week...and the week before.

And I am totally okay with that.

Over the course of the past 3 weeks, I have managed to get myself an entire new spring/summer wardrobe -- a skirt, a dress, capris, tops, tops and more tops, and even a bathing suit. I used saved Christmas and birthday money, extra money I earned putting in extra work hours at home and most recently some tax 'return' money (which wasn't exactly a return, but we had to pay way less than what we had prepared for, so it feels like a return). So luckily my situation with my clothes hasn't really seemed to put a dent in our wallets. But it has been a lot of fun acquiring all of these new clothes.

And I did try to buy things that would still work for me even if I shed those last 10-15 pounds over the course of the spring and summer months. But to be honest...I would be perfectly content to not risk that but to rather stay at the weight I am currently at.

Not forever. I still do plan on hitting my target weight eventually (which is exactly 12 pounds from where I am at today). But after a 10 month constant battle against the buldge, I am growing weary of it. I still plan on doing regular exercising and keeping my good habits in check -- but for now I want to just work at maintaining and not necessarily concern myself with whether or not the numbers on the scale are still declining (although I hear that maintaining is actually harder than losing).

I simply want to revel in the fact that I have lost 56.2 pounds in the past 10 months. And that I have lost 11" off of my waist, 7" off of my chest, 8" off of each thigh and 2" off of each arm. I want to enjoy the fact that there is now a good size space between my thighs when I stand. And that I am wearing size 7-9 jeans. I want to rejoice in knowing that I am actually excited to prance around in my new bathing suit this summer.

Yup...I feel like even though I still may have some work to do, I am sittin' pretty. And loving every minute of it!

i just made history

2010-04-09T09:30:00.002-05:00

The results that I am about to post this morning are like no other that I have reported in the past 10 months of my weight loss journey. Yup, you are about to witness (or read) history.

Exciting hey?

Since June 19th, 2009 I have been reporting my weigh-in results every Friday and have yet to say these words. That's, like, about 40 weeks or so (I was too lazy to actually do the math) and I have never posted what I am about to post.

Are you on the edge of your seat yet? Are you tempted to scroll down right now and read my results? Okay, mark this day on your calendars everybody -- April 9, 2010 -- for it is the day that I...........................................

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.........maintained!

Yup, that's right. For the first time I am reporting the exact same weight that I was at the previous week.

Told you I made history. I just didn't tell you that it was b-o-r-i-n-g history! :)

Anyway, I'm actually just fine with this week's results. Sure, a loss would've been welcomed with open arms -- but I'm just glad it wasn't another gain! It was lookin' like I might have to report another teeny-tiny gain this week, but I put on my big-girl panties and managed to pull out a zero gain/loss. With Easter last weekend and those darned mini-eggs tempting me at every turn, I figure I did pretty good!

Now unfortunately this weekend is going to be another HUGE challenge as I have 2 girl's games nights, another Easter family gathering AND a birthday party to attend! If it's not one thing it's another right? I just need to plow through.

a close call

2010-04-01T20:41:00.007-05:00

I could remind you that I have had substantial weight losses over the past 3 weigh-in's (a total of 4.4 pounds to be exact).

I could remind you that I was away on a girl's shopping weekend (which also translates into an entire weekend of eating out -- and drinking a lot of Pepsi).

I could also remind you that it's that oh-so-special time of the month.

Yes, I could remind you of all of those things...but I'm not gonna do that. Nope, it's not gonna happen...not gonna do it...

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This was the way I was planning to start this post this week, for even as late as yesterday morning it was looking like I was going to have to report a 2+ pound GAIN...and it was hurting me!

Luckily, I busted my butt extra hard yesterday -- I was v-e-r-y careful with what I ate, I did a hard-core 50 minute Jillian Michaels video in the afternoon AND I went for a nice long run in the evening.

All of that -- combined with just regular body fluctuation, I suppose -- helped me conquer most of that expected 2+ pound gain, leaving me with a tiny gain of 0.2 pounds.

Phew...that was close!

I'm glad that even though I haven't been in an actual Biggest Loser competition for 3.5 months, that hasn't seemed to stop me from wanting to report nothing but good things on my blog every Friday. I was talking to Les on Wednesday evening, saying I was worried about having to report a big gain on Friday.

He said, "Who are you reporting to?" wondering why I was getting all bent out of shape over it when the competition for me was long over.

But I still want to strive just as hard for good results, as if I really was still in a competition where my team was relying on me. Or where I was still vying for a prize.

One thing I had to admit to myself this week was that I have been really slacking off in terms of exercising. And this has been happening for the past 3 weeks already. I had to remind myself of one of the sentences I posted on my "what worked for me" post a short while back:

"...if you have a slacker week and you end up losing weight, don't think you can get away with that for the long haul. It will catch up to you, and likely sooner rather than later."

I need to start taking my own advice again, it would seem. Because it's definitely starting to catch up to me. I may have lost 4.4 pounds in 3 weeks with minimal working out (still not quite sure how that happened though...), but that isn't going to be a permanent thing. This week was proof of that!

And it's amazing how much better I feel after just one day of a good work-out. After I finished my newest Jillian Michael's video that I picked up on my girl's weekend, I felt so strong, toned and powerful. Why on earth would I not want that feeling every single day?

So I am re-dedicating myself to regular work-outs for this coming week. No more of this slacking off business, no matter what kind of results it may still get me. The weight may come off here and there with less exercising -- but what good is it if the weight comes off but I feel weak, flabby and lazy??

i don't really feel like i deserve this...

2010-03-26T11:39:00.003-05:00

...but I am down another 2 pounds this week!

The reason I say I feel like I don't deserve this is because other than a 15 minute run on Sunday, I didn't work out AT ALL. And I feel a bit ashamed of myself.

On the other hand, I still have been making good eating choices -- and I have been very active around the house, even if not an actual work-out. I've been busy doing this and that, and I really do find that the more active I am just doing household chores, the more weight I lose.

So it's not like I just sat on my butt and pigged out all week and still came out with a significant weight loss. I suppose I'm not totally undeserving. But whatever way you wanna look at it -- it doesn't change the fact that I am down 2 pounds this week! I'll take it!!

I surpassed the 55 pound mark now, bringing my grand total to 56.4 pounds. Now we'll see how much damage I do on my girls' trip to Fargo this weekend...!!

andrea's 12 (or more) step program: what worked for me

2010-03-23T16:37:00.001-05:00

For a long time now, I have been getting emails (or even people just coming right up to me personally) asking me how I have lost the amount of weight that I have lost. So I decided what better place than my weight loss blog to answer all of those questions -- and more!

Let me start off this post by saying that I am by no means a health & fitness expert. The things I am going to write about are strictly what worked for me to get where I am today. These tips and suggestions are not from a doctor, they are from plain ol' stay-at-home-mom, Me! Talk to a health professional if you are unsure of how to proceed.

Okay -- so are you ready? Ready to hear the earth-shattering advice I am about to pass down to you? Here it is:

Eat less. Exercise more!

Simple as that. Thanks for reading!

Ha ha...okay okay, I've got a lot more to share than just that. But really, those are the 2 basics. It's a pretty simple formula -- but that's not to say that it's an easy thing to accomplish. So here are some of the things that I would encourage/suggest/recommend. Again, this might not all work for you -- and in fact, you may down-right disagree with some of the things I am about to tell you. But it is my true account of my weight-loss journey up to this point.

Find out your BMI (either here or here if you're looking for some sites). I encourage you to do this so that you know what your healthy weight range is for your height. But don't take it too seriously, because we are all different. But it's a good idea to have a general idea of what is considered healthy for you, since that is the ultimate goal -- not to be skinny, but to be healthy.

Tell somebody what you weigh. I find it's not actually enough to just update on a blog how much weight you have lost (or gained) from week to week. There's something about actually confessing to somebody the genuine number that appears on your scale when you step on it. I also find it's more exciting then when you break through a new barrier. Instead of having to simply say, "I'm in a new middle digit" you can specifically say, "I am out of the 160's!!"

Take your measurements. The scale is not the only measure of your success. In fact, measurements are a more accurate representation of your reaching your goals. Afterall, wouldn't you rather see the inches melt away than the pounds? Nobody can see what the scale's numbers show, but they will be able to see the difference when you are strutting around in single digit pants sizes instead of being on the verge of wearing plus sizes. Don't re-measure yourself every week or anything though -- well, you can if you want I suppose, but it might be disheartening. Rather give it a month in between and then check on your progress. You can measure wherever you want, but I do my biceps, thighs, waist and chest.

Take before pictures. I wish I had done specific before pictures -- in fitted work-out shorts and a sports bra. It would give a much more accurate portrayal of your progress in that kind of attire. As it is, I do have a good full-length shot of me at my cousin's wedding when I was at my all-time heaviest so it does a good enough job, but I still wish I had the official before pictures, from multiple angles. These before pictures are wonderful encouragement to look at when you're feeling like not much is happening. Believe it or not, even at 55 pounds lighter there are still days when I look in the mirror and think I can't see much difference. But then I pull out my before (and after) pictures and there's no denying the fact that those 55 pounds make a huge difference.

Break your ultimate goal down into mini-goals. If I would've put my 70 pound goal up on the countdown ticker on the sidebar of this blog, it would've seemed WAY too overwhelming. It's almost cause to give up before you even get started. I broke my goals into 10 pound increments. That way I still had to work hard to get there, but at the same time, it was very do-able and I was able to have lots of celebrations along the way. Now my ultimate goal is only 15 pounds away instead of 70!! If you have less to lose -- therefore making it harder to shed pounds -- make your goals even smaller, 5 pounds or even less if you want.

Document your progress. You don't have to have a blog -- either public or private -- but I encourage you to keep track of your weight on a week-to-week basis. I do find, though, that having people to be accountable to helps. I don't want to have to report a gain week after week on my blog, so it helps motivate me to have something positive to report. If you're just keeping track in a notebook that only you see...well, it could be harder to give yourself that push. So if you feel the urge, start up a blog and see what happens. Or if you're just not comfortable with that, find a few friends you can have weekly emails with to keep accountable to. Bottom line: don't try to do this alone.

Celebrate each goal that you accomplish. It doesn't have to be anything major -- but draw attention to the fact that you reached a goal and are working on the next one. Either post it on your Facebook status, treat yourself to a new top, or allow yourself the luxury of a night out.

Don't write off an entire day just because it started off poorly. This was always one of my mistakes in all previous attempts at losing weight. If I was having a bad day and by lunchtime I had eaten more than what I should've eaten in an entire day, my typical response was "Ah, who cares. I screwed up today anyway -- I might as well just keep going and start fresh tomorrow." WRONG ANSWER!! Make every decision count. So you made a mistake and had a burger, fries and a supersize Coke for lunch. Don't let that give you the excuse to also have a greasy supper and chips and chocolate before bed. Acknowledge to yourself that you made an unwise choice and then move on. In the right direction. Use the way you likely feel about said choice (i.e. guilt, disappointment, etc) to fuel yourself into making better choices the rest of the day.

Give into cravings...to a certain extent. This is a tricky one, because if not used properly, this piece of advice can get you into a lot of trouble! I'm not saying that anytime you crave something unhealthy that you should just give in and consume it. But there is some merit to the idea that real and genuine cravings need some attention. For example, if I absolutely and positively am craving sour cream & onion chips and a Pepsi -- and by that I mean that it's all I can think about -- then the smart thing is to allow myself a small portion of the object of my desire. In other words, a handful (or two) of the chips and half of a can of Pepsi. Enough to satisfy that wild craving that is making me crazy. The alternative? In my experience, the alternative is to raid the fridge or pantry looking for something -- anything -- to have in its place. It may start out as a healthy choice like a handful of grapes. But soon I will realize that no, the grapes didn't do the trick. So I move on to something else -- perhaps a handful of crackers. No...not quite good enough. And so I continue to move on to other foods in the hopes that something will satisfy my chip & pepsi craving, only to realize half an hour later that I consumed WAY more calories than I would've if I allowed myself a small taste and I am still left with that feeling of craving.

Don't snack in the evenings -- for the most part! It has become a very rare thing for me to eat anything after the supper hour. The exception? If I am legitimately hungry before going to bed. I will not let myself go to sleep with a growling stomach. It's okay if I feel like I *could* eat something before going to bed. But if I am actually growling with hunger, why torture myself? I will go into the pantry and take out 3-4 crackers. Just enough to take the edge off. The key is to take out the few crackers, then close up the box and put it back into the pantry and WALK AWAY. No repeat visits. It's easiest if this is done directly before going to bed to eliminate those repeat visits. If I take a few crackers and then proceed to watch TV for a bit longer or check email or make Joelle's lunch for the next day...it is more than easy to head back to the pantry and take another helping -- or two! However, if I take those few crackers and eat them on my way up to my bedroom, I will immediately brush my teeth and head into bed, thus eliminate the desire to go all the way back down to the kitchen for a few more crackers, only to have to brush my teeth yet again.

Don't skip breakfast. For the longest time, other than the one day a week where I was at work (and weekends), I would not eat breakfast. Afterall, it was just more calories going in my body that I didn't really need, right? I would rather save my calories for lunch and supper. Well, that isn't really a wise decision. As I'm sure most of you know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I'm still working on this one, as I don't have the greatest breakfast every morning. But I do eat something -- a piece of toast with cheese whiz every morning -- not only to give me the energy to start my day, but it also gets my metabolism boosted right off the bat.

Limit afternoon snacking. Now, I know that a lot of people say that eating more often throughout the day rather than just 3 solid meals is a healthier way to go. But like I said -- I am simply telling you what worked for me. I typically eat breakfast, lunch and supper and not a whole lot in between. I say 'not a whole lot' because it's not set in stone. If I truly am hungry mid-morning, I will have a 100 calorie granola bar. And if I know I can't possibly make it to suppertime, I will indulge in a few crackers, a small handful of chocolate chips, or a helping of multi-grain chips & salsa. The point is not to starve yourself, it's about everything in moderation.

Dinner is dinner. I've been asked before if I make something different for my family than I do for me. I know people who do this and it works for them -- so that's great! But not me. I eat what my family eats, just with controlled portions.

Don't eat until you are full. I have to say, in the past 9 months, there have really been very few times where I have felt genuinely full. I will eat a decent portion of a meal (probably more on the small side) and in normal circumstances not have second helpings. Now, if I actually still feel hungry after my first portion -- because perhaps I took too small of a first helping -- it's not like I don't allow myself to eat more. If I just strictly left it at a one-helping scenario, I could be opening myself up to a lot of trouble come 8 o'clock when I feel ravenous, as if I skipped supper altogether. But when you feel you have gotten to a point where you are content -- without being hungry and without being full -- just stop eating. I'm sure most of us don't have to stock-pile; we are all pretty confident that we will have the means to get our next meal. So why over-eat? Usually after we over-eat, we end up feeling so uncomfortable and gross anyway, that it takes away from the deliciousness of the meal we were consuming. However, if we stop before we are full, we will walk away from the meal with only pleasant thoughts of what we just ate. Besides, you know what they say: It takes up to 15 minutes for your body to realize that it's full. So even if you don't necessarily feel full by the time you stop eating, give it 10-15 minutes and you may be more content than you realized!

Accept compliments graciously. I admit, this is something that I am still working on myself. Sometimes it's so easy to just focus on the negative and forget about all the good that you have already done. People might tell me how fabulous I look, and I have to catch myself from replying with something like, "Thanks -- but you don't know how well I'm covering things up with what I'm wearing" or "Sheesh, I look nothing like the way I want to look like" or "Yeah...but I'm still way in the 'overweight' category according to my BMI"...and I could go on. I believe whole-heartedly that we need to accept each compliment the way it was intended -- with appreciation and gratitude. Our responses should be nothing other than a sincere "Thank-you." Take the compliments -- you deserve them!

Nothing is off-limits. Denying your body the foods it will naturally crave isn't really the way to go. Again, this is just in my experience. Everything in moderation has been my mantra and it has worked. Well -- there is one thing that I do not allow myself to buy under any circumstances...and it is Nutella. One jar of that gets consumed solely by yours truly within a matter of 1-2 days. I just grab a spoon, hide behind the kitchen counter and go to it. It's gone before anybody else in the house even knew it was there. So know your weakness, I suppose. But other than that, I really do eat anything and everything -- pizza, carrot cake, chips, pepsi -- it's all for me to enjoy as long as I'm enjoying it responsibly. If you deprive yourself of something completely, it will only make you crave it even more and you will end up on a binge-fest. It's just not worth it.

Exercise. This is a given. You can not lose adequate amounts of weight simply by watching what you eat. On the flip-side, you also can't lose adequate amounts of weight simply by exercising. The two go hand-in-hand. So find something that you enjoy doing -- swimming, walking, jogging, going to the gym, doing at-home TV work-outs -- and commit to doing it several times a week.

Find a time that works best for you to exercise. In a perfect world, I would get up at 6:30am and get in my work-out and shower before the kids wake up. I know someone who does that and I would love to be like her. But it's not a perfect world and I just know that for me it's not feasible. It took me awhile to figure it out, but early afternoon is the best time for me to work out. Maybe for you it's mid-morning or early evening. Or maybe you can be one of the ones who can drag themselves out of bed early in the morning -- kudos to you if that's the case! Just find a time that best suits you and get to it! First though, you need to acknowledge that you will have to sacrifice something in order to fit it in...whether it's sleep, or part of your afternoon quiet time while the kids are napping, or some of your relaxing-in-front-of-the-TV in the evening time.

Start slow. If you have never really regular exercised, don't expect to dive right in with hour long work-outs 5 days a week. You will burn out and say "I can't do this!" and then you'll quit. And we don't want that! Start off 2-3 days a week with short 20 minute work-outs. As you build up your strength and endurance, gradually increase the number and length of your work-outs.

Don't give up! If you start a genuine attempt to lose weight and get discouraged after the first week or two -- just keep trucking! Sometimes our bodies take awhile to catch up to what we are doing. And this goes both ways...if you have a slacker week and you end up losing weight, don't think you can get away with that for the long haul. It will catch up to you, and likely sooner rather than later. And if you are busting your butt and not getting the results you think you deserve -- relax. It'll come. There are lots of things that come into play that can alter your weight, a few of them being the time of the month for us ladies, and of course stress. Goodness knows there's enough of that in all of our lives!

Make sure you are eating enough. In all of the moderation in eating, the flip-side is to make sure that you eat enough. Our bodies were not designed to be starved -- and they have a certain self-preservation technique that they will use if necessary. So don't eat so little that your body will have to fight against your weight-loss attempts. The way it does this is by clinging on to every last morsel of fat that it can since it doesn't know when it will get fed next. And that is not very conducive to weight loss. It can be tricky to figure out just how much is enough without it being too much. I wish there was a simple formula for this, but everybody is different and you will need to try and figure it out on your own.

Change things up! If you are noticing a plateau on the scale and things aren't moving the way you think they should be based on your good daily choices -- change things up! Sometimes our bodies get bored with the same ol' routine day in and day out. They need to be kept on their toes -- it's called muscle confusion. Keep your body guessing from one week to the next. You can change things up a few different ways...either by mixing up your work-outs or by changing up the time of day you are working out. Or both. So if you are always going out jogging at 7:00 every evening, you might want to try an early morning run here and there instead. Of if you are always doing the same cardio work-out video in your living room, try doing a weight-training video or an ab routine on alternate days.

Weight training boosts metabolism! I know a lot of people are leery about gaining muscle -- you know, since they say muscle weighs more than fat and all of that. But muscle is also your friend as it really does boost your metabolism. And what better way to lose weight than to have a higher metabolic rate? I know I add a good body sculpting work-out to my regimen at least once a week.

Every little thing counts. I know I have heard it said that you need to get your heart-rate up for a minimum of 30 minutes (or something like that) in order for it to really have any effect on your body. To that I say "Pffft!" Every minute of burning calories is beneficial to you. Sure, perhaps not to the same degree as a solid half-hour. But it all adds up. See how many small ways you can up your calorie burn throughout your day -- I bet you'd be surprised. While you're stirring something on the stove, march in place with those knees lifted high. While you're going up and down the stairs -- run up them 2 at a time. Put some music on and spend 5 minutes dancing with one of your kiddos. Decide to do push-ups, sit-ups, squats or jogging on the spot during every commercial break of your favorite TV show. Or even just standing instead of sitting all the time. For example, if you're folding a load of laundry, you will burn more calories doing it standing up than if you are sitting on the couch. True story.

Try on smaller-sized clothes sooner than you think you might actually fit into them. It's sort of the same thing as when you have a baby -- you think there's no possible way your 6 month old could be wearing clothes in the 9-12 months category. So you wait until your baby is officially in that age category only to find out that it's all too small! Same sort of thing here...don't assume that you can't fit into those size 10's until you actually try them on and see for yourself. So try on your smaller sizes from time to time (either old clothes you've held on to that you used to fit in, or hand-me-down's that have been generously passed down to you). You may not quite be able to wear them by the time you try them on for the first time -- but you can use them to track your progress. Perhaps the first time you can't even get them over your thighs. Then a couple of weeks later you can get them on but can't button them up. Next time the button closes but they're still too tight around the butt. And then next time -- boom! A perfect fit! It's exciting to physically watch that progress. I know I had a specific pair of 'goal pants' that I've been holding on to for the past 8 years. I fit into them when I was first married, but it wasn't long after that where they were too small on me. So I would try them on every once in awhile -- even long before I figured they'd actually fit me decently -- and it was really interesting to watch the actual progress. And now, believe it or not, they are baggy on me!!

Slow & Steady wins the race! Don't aim to be like the contestants on The Biggest Loser where some of them lose 100 pounds in 7 weeks. You don't have 5-6 hours to work-out every day, nor do you have personal trainers there to coach you every step of the way. Besides, the faster it comes off, the harder it is to keep it off. There's absolutely nothing wrong with only losing 1 pound every week -- or even every 2 weeks. There is no 'right' amount of weight to lose per week. But if you want an easier time keeping it off once you have finally reached your goal weight, s-l-o-w-l-y is the way to do it.

Remember that everybody is different and will lose weight at different rates and in different ways. Typically those who are heavier will lose weight quicker -- and in larger amounts. But it doesn't always work that way. We all have different metabolisms, different outside factors in our lives and completely different bodies.

Make decisions you can continue for life. Hence the term 'Lifestyle Change.' That's why I love the way I chose to get healthy and lose weight. For me, a program like Weight Watchers wouldn't be beneficial in the long run. Sure, I may have been able to use it to lose the weight in the first place. But to then continue counting points for the rest of my life in order to keep the weight off? Not my idea of something I can commit to that long-term. So instead, I chose the "Eat les. Exercise more!" strategy, and I fully trust that I will be able to keep up these habits long-term and keep losing weight till I reach my goal and then continue to keep it off.

Well, there you have it. The detailed way that I lost just shy of 55 pounds in the past 9 months. I hope that answers all of your questions, but if I missed anything feel free to ask me and I'll answer as best as I can. Happy Losing, everybody!!

still shrinking

2010-03-19T09:20:00.002-05:00

Down another 1.4 pounds this week! I have to say that I'm pretty impressed with myself -- that even though the 50 pound milestone AND the March 12th deadline have come and gone, I am still sticking to my healthy habits and seeing good results on the scale.

It was only 3 weeks ago that I hit that 50 pound mark, and now I am only 0.6 pounds away from 55 pounds! It's still amazing to me that only 9 short months ago I was 70 pounds overweight. And now? A measly 13 pounds.

One thing that I'm sure helped spur on a decent loss this week was getting back into running. I didn't get quite as many runs in as I would've liked, but I did run Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I could definitely tell that it was making a difference, as I had a very minimal gain over the weekend even though I know I let loose a bit too much with my eating. I love having something like running to counter-balance that.

I've been waltzing around in a pair of size 7 jeans this week and I feel so great in them! And they're from the same store that I typically buy my jeans, so I know it's a pretty accurate declaration of what size I am. Again, hard to believe that 9 months ago I could barely button up my size 16's -- and now a size 7?? Pretty cool, if you ask me.

I have had a lot of people email me or come up and talk to me and ask me exactly what I have all done to get such great success. So I am working on doing a post that will detail a lot of the do's and dont's that have worked for me. So look for that coming up in the near future.

Until then...

the day has come and gone

2010-03-12T10:06:00.002-06:00

Okay...today is March 12th, the date I have been waiting for to be over. Why? Well, if you remember, in Round II of my Biggest Loser competition, I set up a 3 month post weigh-in. We were all to weigh in again on March 12th and see how we did in the last 3 months. Sort of a motivation factor, especially for those of us who didn't carry on in Round III.

So not only was today the first BL-related weigh-in since December 11th -- but I also asked everybody to post on our BL blog their March 12th goals, and then to re-post on this date to let us know how they did. Not everybody participated in stating their goals, but quite a few did, and I'm looking forward to reading how they did.

So, my goal was to have lost another 10 pounds. And -- I did it!! Well, I did it 2 weeks ago but then with my 0.4 pound gain last week, I was 0.2 pounds away from it again. But I pounded off 1 pound this week, bringing me to a 10.8 pound weight loss since December 11th. Yay, me!!

My grand total since June 19th is now 53 pounds! Ideally, I would like to lose another 15 pounds to get me to my ultimate goal weight. But I am not putting a date on that goal! Too much pressure that I don't want to put on myself again.

I will continue to use the habits I have learned in the past 9 months, and once I can get back to regular jogging again, I have full intentions of blasting off those last 15 pounds. Whether it happens by summer or by next spring -- either way, it will happen.

Oh -- and something else that I can't help but share...earlier this week I got a bag of hand-me-down's from my Mom. I took them skeptically, thinking that m-a-y-b-e I would be able to fit into them by summertime (the bag was full of skirts, shorts, capris and a few pairs of pants). But I tried them on yesterday morning -- just to see how far away I was from being able to wear them.

Well, imagine my surprise when I tried them on -- one by one -- and realized that they all fit me! Yup, each and every one. Wanna know what size they were? They were 8's and 9's -- even with a size 7 thrown in the mix. And the thing I liked about it was that they were different styles and fits (and brands)...so it wasn't like it was just one pair of magic jeans or anything. I really and truly am into the single digits now!! That in and of itself is a huge accomplishment that I will cling to when I am feeling down about those last 15 pounds!