ask andi: part III

Finally - the final installment of "Ask Andi" is here!

Do you feel thin? Or are you mentally feeling you are still carrying the weight yet the mirror says other wise?

Do I feel thin...that's a good question. Those of you who have gone from being officially obese to maintaining a healthy weight will probably relate to the fact that a lot of the time I would say "no" to that question.

It's hard when your mind plays tricks on you. In my head I know that I am at a healthy weight and I know that I am wearing small sizes of clothes. But sometimes the mind doesn't properly compute that. I don't know how to explain it. But there are still some days when I look in the mirror and see the massively over-weight girl that I was 2 years ago. I think that's one reason why I do my From-The-Inside-Out-Friday posts - so I can visually see in picture form what I look like. Some people might look at those posts and think I'm trying to brag or show off - both my clothes and my body. But it's really for my own mental benefit. To convince myself that I really am slim now.

But mentally I think it will always be a battle. And I wish I knew how to describe it so people could understand. But unless you've been there, I don't think you can really grasp what I'm trying to say. Like I've blogged about before though, there are even some days when I wish I was 200+ pounds again. Not because I really want to actually look that way again, but because it feels comfortable somehow. Familiar.

I could write a whole book on this topic and probably still not really get across what I wish I could convey to you all about this...


What would you tell girl in the picture in the left now looking back?

The picture this question is referring to is from the original 'ask andi' post that I did in mid-June. So what would I tell her?

This is a really good question. I'm not sure what I would say. I want to be able to say that I would tell her that she is beautiful no matter what. And while that's certainly always what Les thought of 'her', I can't in all honesty say I'm at that point where I could say that about that girl in the picture.

But I would tell her to give it her best. Tell her that every decision, every day, will be worth the outcome. To not give up. But I would also tell her that being thin isn't everything. Being healthy should be the top priority; losing weight is just a bonus. I would tell her to not get too obsessed about everything; to not let the scale completely rule her life. Success is measured in many more ways than just the 3 digit number staring you in the face every morning.

That's what I would tell her. Would she listen though? Hard to say....

What is your maintenance look like now?

To me, this question could mean 2 different things. Since the 'after' picture I posted in the earlier ask andi post was from last summer, it could mean what does your 'after' picture look like today?

Or it could mean what does your maintenance routine look like now; what do you do to maintain now that you have lost the weight?

So I will answer both questions just to make sure I'm covering all the bases. :)

This is what my maintenance looks like physically right now. This is the most recent picture of myself (full body) taken just last week.

As for my maintenance routine? Well...if I'm being completely honest (which is something I am determined to do on this blog, regardless of how hard it is!), I'm not really officially in the maintenance phase right now.

Up until spring I was staying in my 138-143lb window...but in the last few months I have been putting on a few pounds. I did lose those few pounds back in June when I completed my 6 Week 6 Pack challenge, bringing me back down to my official loss of 70 pounds, sitting at 141.2 pounds. But in Friday's upcoming post, I will reveal more hard truths about the past several weeks.

However - while I was maintaining my weight, this is how I did it: By working just as hard as I did while trying to lose the weight to begin with. It really is true what they say - that maintaining is harder than losing. It's a hard (and disappointing!) truth. Once you've reached your goal, you want to just be able to sit back and enjoy it and take a break from the hard work you did to get you there.

But you can't. It's that simple. The lifestyle changes I made to get me here are exactly that - lifestyle changes. The word 'life' is in there for a reason. It's long-term commitment, baby. Sad? Perhaps. But true. Very, very true.

Thanks for the questions. I think it was a good time for me to get some of these questions and get me thinking again more in-depth about my journey. I still have some mental hurdles to overcome - or at least work on, since they might never be fully overcome - and some goals to set for myself. Those of you who have been on a similar journey as me, I encourage you to take time every once in awhile to go back and remember the before, the during, and the after. Don't just forget about what you did and what you felt to get yourself to the end point.